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[00:00:30] welcome to all of you. From across our diverse fabulousness. I see that the Wellington rain has not dampened. Uh, the rainbow Glen. My name is Elizabeth, and it is my great honour to open our ceremony today as our joy and remembrance of Virginia's life weaves through our denial and grief [00:01:00] at her loss. So we acknowledge the interconnectedness of all things in the universe. We greet our earth Mother, Papa, all of the goddesses, all of the spiritual and magical beings and whose world we're privileged to live. We acknowledge the of this area. Where and Jack have created their life. Together we pay tribute to this sacred space and all of those that have born witness [00:01:30] to the celebration and tears of our our families and our communities. And we remember those who have passed to the burns ancestors who have come all the way from Northern Ireland to celebrate the descendant. I don't know what all those Protestants will be thinking about being in this Anglican church, but we thank you. We thank all of those ancestors for the power. [00:02:00] That is the the that we honour here today. We have come together today to celebrate and honour the life of Virginia Burns to remember her and make our farewells. We're drawn here by the love and respect of a truly amazing person. My name is David Burrell, and it's my honour to be your guide through the service today we're joined by Virginia's [00:02:30] parents, Judy and Harry Burns, her sister Emma, and members of her family. We're also thinking of her grandmother, Hazel, who was unable to travel for the service today but is in our thoughts. We're also joined by the junior's partner, Jack Lynch, her family and friends. Some of you may not know that Jack and had a civil union at their home last week. Um, Jack described it as the most romantic moment of her life. [00:03:00] Then there's these wider family, that's all of you. They felt very strongly that she was part of a huge extended family, and that's why we all gather here today to celebrate her life. I have a set of things that we need to work through to all the friends who have supported Virginia and Jack during the seven years together, and those who stepped in to help [00:03:30] Virginia during her four years of treatment, especially her chemo club. Thanks to the group of lovelies who have helped pull the service together and keep Jack and Food Company and good humour, I also want to thank Eva Beaver Bar for the Amazing Tribute held last Sunday. This was an amazing event that the community held for V. Although V and Jack couldn't be there in person. [00:04:00] I also want to thank Mark Holland and her helpers who have created a work of art on on these casket. It is truly beautiful. And now, for the safety messages, I know they would want us all to be safe. And we are in Wellington. So if there's an earthquake, drop cover and hold on, it goes without saying that this is a non-smoking service. [00:04:30] This building has three safety exits one behind and one either side. This is also a really good time to just check your phones to make sure they're off. Um, the service is being recorded and will be made available on pride NZ dot com. Can I ask that you all stand and join in the singing of [00:05:00] Yeah, really hard. [00:05:30] He he [00:06:00] see [00:06:30] he he Yeah, I Yeah, [00:07:00] really. You can see thank you. Please be seated. Today. We will not be having a formal eulogy. Instead, [00:07:30] we're gonna have tributes from friends and family that will paint a picture of the and the life that she had with us. The first of these will be read by Vaughan on behalf of these parents and family. This will be followed by Greg, Penny and Arthur. I'm [00:08:00] honoured to be asked to read today and to speak of a few words on behalf of Judy who's V's mum. But before I read Judy's words, I'd like to say a few words about the relationship I had with the and I know that many of us have this this kind of connection with her in life. There are often only one or two people you can talk to about anything and everything. And was that person for me? Our relationship mostly centred on numerous [00:08:30] conversations over lemon and ginger tea or coffee. With a few outings and community gatherings on the fringes, I would send her a one word text with coffee, and she would find a reason to escape the IRD and we we we'd meet downstairs at Mojo and on a fine day we'd sit on the grass outside the railway station and we'd talk one day. Not long after her first round of treatment, I meet her for lunch at where I was supposed to. Eventually, she swanned in, crowned [00:09:00] with her latest Beanie and with a bright smile on her face, said, Sorry I'm late. I've got cancer, I replied. Hard enough. I've got AIDS and I still need it on time. And then we pissed ourselves laughing and carried on with our conversations. When we got together, we we talked of life, the universe and everything from business and money, things like whether to buy one apartment or two or whether or not to invest in [00:09:30] butlers. And we'd done talked through art and science, the stupidity of trump, the absurdity of Colin Craig and the general fabulous of queers. We talked about tax policy, the rights of trans people and how go set a watchman impacted on our impressions of To Kill a Mockingbird. We also discuss deeply personal things, like our relationships and breakups. We talked about our fears [00:10:00] and our vulnerabilities. We gave each other advice, tried ideas on for size and provided a different perspective we could disagree, but no matter what, we were always on each other's side like so many of us. I trusted, admired and loved her because she was really easy to love. I know many of us had similar kinds of conversations with me, and the day always [00:10:30] went better afterwards than it was before. It was her superpower, really. It takes a village to raise a child, and I'd like to thank her family's whole village for bringing this amazing human into our world. All of us here today know that they didn't just help us raise us up as people. She helped raise our village, and [00:11:00] now I'm going to read some words from Bee's mum, Judy, about her reflections and memories from Bee's childhood. She was quite a bossy child. At 2.5 years, she was going up mom's back steps along with Robert, who was 20 months her cousin and pushed them off into the cactus that grew there. And Jennifer had to lay him down and pick out the prickles from his bum, one by one, with him going at each extraction. She loved hanging up on our fence with her thumb in her mouth, [00:11:30] advising the neighbours the best, the best way she should discipline. Her son, Ginny Rose was only 3.5 at the time, and he was two. She went to a birthday party when she was about five, and they had a running race. But Virginia ran around a trailer, and instead of coming directly back, so they came in last. She hated walking, would have gone to school in a year if she had had the chance. And we wore out five of them before she got to school. She even walked with the disabled kids at high school. So she got out of the cross country running. [00:12:00] She was involved with AD, which is students against drunk driving and pity your sister didn't take after in that regard. When Gemma started yelling in the night when she was 10 months old, Virginia said to me, You said this was going to be a good thing for all of us. Mom and Gemma continued to scream the place down. For the next 15 months, she wore in striped PJS with braces to hold them up at school when she was in the seventh form. As that was the latest thing for her. I made her a lovely black [00:12:30] velvet halted neck long dress for a ball gown. She looked beautiful, but she never wore it again. Bought a new one The next year, she thought I could just put a bit of material around her and make something without a pattern, as if she were a Barbie doll, and I was expected to make the dress she wanted. She had a Cabbage Patch doll, which she carried everywhere when she was about seven, and it's still on the shelf in her room, along with others of her dolls. Although Layla now plays with her Barbies, she stayed with us until she was 19 and then into a flat in town while she was at drama school, [00:13:00] getting an LTCL and drama and from there to uni in Wellington, living in a real dive in Glen Road in Calvin, with water streaming down the bathroom walls. Unbelievable. But she was happy there and took us to see the glow worms on the bank at night on the Botanic Gardens. And when I said she was lucky to get a job at Jackie, she replied. They are very lucky to have me work for them, and that was her attitude to life. The Invincible Miss Burns At six. She was very [00:13:30] much loved, the first grandchild, and it is terrible to think she didn't make it love Judy. Good morning. Firstly, it's a great privilege to have the opportunity to speak today at the send off, V has tirelessly worked on so many community projects and events over many years. Too many to list. Sunday's event to V with Love is [00:14:00] probably the only event she did not organise herself, although she did have a hand in making it a fundraiser for Outer spaces. That's a group supporting queer and trans youth and a fundraiser. It was out, and also out. Wellington, who run out in the park, actually pledged $500 just two nights ago to bring the total funds raised in V's name to over 3.5 $1000. Pretty ace, a V. [00:14:30] The sense of community spirit together in that room on Sunday was glam. It was a true testament to of the appreciation from the community for the for her endless hours of meetings and community work, her tireless energy and massive thanks to our amazing team, Roxy and crew for organising it all awesome. V was heavily involved in out in the park for a number of years chair co-chair, community liaison, marketing [00:15:00] and every other role you could possibly imagine either on the board or working behind the scenes. But she would say her role was making shit happen. I'm not sure if you can say that in the church, but just dead. V has a a sense of calmness that no one else I have ever met can replicate. V was [00:15:30] the calming voice at the meetings when everyone was pulling their hair out days before the big event, and we didn't have a health and safety plan for the City Council, and the whole thing might not happen. But then V just sorts it all out and everything works out perfectly. Even when we was going through her first round of treatment, she still never missed a board meeting. She would just rock up with a smile on her face and always look for the good and everything, and we learned a lot from Virginia. One of these great qualities [00:16:00] was acceptance of people and differences in fact, V embraced differences and was a true champion for diversity, a rich quality in a human being. It was these innate qualities that drove her passion and the many community projects she immersed herself in over the years. Thanks must go to Jack for letting us have so much of V's time for these projects and a rock solid support of [00:16:30] V and her various community projects. One of the great qualities that I loved about V was her ability to see the big picture. If she had a USB in the side of her head, she could have just plugged in a printer, and it would. And it would print out an image of her master plan full colour HD that with the picture set in her head, she would get to work and she would rally [00:17:00] people. She would attend endless meetings, late night phone calls and do what it took to make it happen. One of those printouts would turn out to be the Asia Pacific Out games. She was co-chair in 2012. I think it was hosting over 1300 sports people in uh, the the the Gay Games here in Wellington and ambitious event that set a blueprint for the future Asia Asia Pacific Out games in the future. [00:17:30] I first met when she was co-chair of the out games, and she was on the hunt for some sponsorship cash. I always remember, um, meeting her, and she was wearing a fabulous bright green jacket, ubi cool, oversized sunglasses and a little beanie. I thought, Wow, high fashion, lesbian. [00:18:00] One of her other great qualities was her sense of humour. This operated like a well oiled machine, and it was available on demand even with her cancer. And she told me just five weeks ago that her cancer was now palliative care. She just shrugged her shoulders and said, Yeah, it's a bit shit. I've seen it twice Now these legacy will continue in the community events she was instrumental in growing [00:18:30] and her final words on Sunday, she encouraged members of our community to get involved in making big, shiny LGBT Q I star events happen. By the way. The out Wellington a GM is Tuesday night next week, and there's an opportunity right there. If you're thinking about getting involved in your community, I know we would have loved this little shout out V, you will be greatly missed around the board tables, coffee tables and dinner [00:19:00] tables. You inspired us. You taught us you made us laugh. You made us feel good. The world is a better place because of you. Everyone They used to come to work every day with a cherry Morina every day, no matter what. I'm penny from the Inland Revenue and [00:19:30] I were researchers together at IRD and she was my best friend at work. We, um, had lots of coffees as well, and, um, talked about much the same things. And it's a wonder that she even got work done given that we were always having coffee with her. So, um, but given all that, she was amazing at her job. And we all miss her so much. I feel so humbled and honoured to talk [00:20:00] about today. And I asked the team and others who have worked with V to share some things that they loved about her. And like the good researchers that we both are, I've seen them up into a list of a few words firstly that describe V at work warmth, passion, encouragement, stylish strong values, loved her job. Butler's [00:20:30] chocolate at team meetings. Kind, thoughtful, ambitious, inspiring, brilliant, bright, collaborative, inclusive, hugely missed and hashtag red. Who knows what a vox pop is? Well, researchers at Inland Revenue know, and I think that's pretty impressive. Given we've got an average age of about 50 in our team, it means voice of the people. And [00:21:00] it's a poll, um, asking a question and giving a range of options, and they convinced me to help her with this. She does that. It's a strength of hers, inviting others to bring her along a new plans to improve the world. Her red ideas. She used things like Fox Pops to bring people together. We started it out as a simple voting for our favourite spread on toast and moved [00:21:30] into one of my faves, which was Today is so awesome yesterday as well jelly and with very big responses like Totes And it better be. And in the end, it was developed in a way to build a positive team culture, about studying from youth, engaging how people felt about organisational change coming up in the future, and I loved working with their own with UV, [00:22:00] and it really did help build a better culture in our team. And it's just but one example of the amazing work you did strong values. You are steadfast in your values. You made people stick to this, made us accountable and be our best Selves. Always you are unforgiving. If someone failed you in living theirs, you supported colleagues to support their family members with LGBTI Q plus challenges. [00:22:30] I'm gonna miss you so much be in the lost opportunities for our friendship. There is so much I didn't know about you and I honestly thought I was gonna have a lifetime of friendship to get to know all of you. I was looking forward to the amazing role model that she would be to my own Children. Especially Grace, who puts boy characters in new stories who have boyfriends and describe and describe drag queens taking over social media? Yep. [00:23:00] And we get to see people like Lasha. Saint Redfern read adorable stories about penguins with two dads at the library in events like Sunday, which is not bad for a straight white family from so instead be your influence will be in honour of my memory of you because you made me a better parent friend in person. You left all our worlds better to finish. There's [00:23:30] some especially lovely quotes from your work friends, starting with Grahams, Graham said she understood me better than anyone else or even myself. From time is not measured by the years we lived, but the number of deeds we do and the joy we give from Peter, I can only say what I'm sure lots of others would say was how amazing he was to have in the team. As a person, she was so [00:24:00] kind and thoughtful and as a colleague, inspiring totally brilliant person. I miss her heaps from Paul Weaver, passionate about what was right and would not accept what wasn't the support and encouragement she gave others was brilliant from our manager, Helen hard to find the right words for what they meant to us. I will remember her great energy, warmth and enthusiasm and love of her job. She lit up [00:24:30] the room, and from her manager, Paul, it's so hard to put you in a sentence for you were so much to so many people. I'll remember you as someone full of life and ambition for what can be always willing to push the boundaries. You challenged us to think so differently about our work in the communities and people we work for. You gave so much and had so much yet to give. And finally a beautiful poem written by her colleague [00:25:00] and friend Mike O'Connor. It's called Hashtag genius. Sweet, sweet Virginia Plain and simply You rocked You will always be on my mind. All my memories gather around here. Modest lady stranger to blue water dark and dusty painted on the sky, Misty taste of moonshine teardrop in my eye. See it out west sometime. [00:25:30] My name is Arthur, and I'm one of a group of friends of these that called ourselves the Woollies made up of Virginia Tyrone, Ellen Gordon Roger myself [00:26:00] and I've got the privilege of speaking for the group. We were just a small group of gay friends from different backgrounds, but with lots in common life and circumstance just threw us together and we made the most of it. We talked up large. We partied, we observed, we supported each other. We questioned and challenged each other, and we had the most fabulous time together. Both here in New Zealand and abroad, [00:26:30] and we always came back together. Asking for more Virginia was, is and will continue to be a part of that tight woollies union. Jack's kindly referred to the wolf in one of her Facebook posts in the in the last week as a group of smart, gregarious gay men that Virginia regarded as their gay brothers. Well, Jack, that's a very generous description. Firstly, I consider myself to be the [00:27:00] least gregarious of the bunch. And to be honest, I'm not quite sure what gregarious means I should have. I guess I should have Googled it before I came, so that makes me a bit low in the smart stakes as well. But what I do know is that we all adore, and we continue to adore our beautiful friend. You know, I've heard a lot of people talking about the legacy that Virginia leaves and what a legacy it is. We here [00:27:30] are all testament to that, a legacy of what she's done for the community, for people she cared for and how she helped to shape the way we act we give and how we think. Well, it's made me think about our power to create a legacy. One of my favourite poets, Maya Angelo, once said, Your legacy is every life you have touched. I'll say that again. Your legacy [00:28:00] is every life you have touched. And Virginia touched us all through her dignity, her self determination, her grace and beauty, her smile and her love. And it showed me a very simple truth. Feel everything you love, because every moment you are building your legacy, believe in yourself. Back yourself to win. Go out there and make [00:28:30] a difference and be you, Virginia. You did. And you have. It's something that I'll always remember about you. It makes me smile and makes us all stronger. Thank you. Love you. Thank you. Vaughan, [00:29:00] Greg, Penny and Arthur, Um, for our next set of tributes, we're going to have Rebecca followed by her work. And Sean, I'd just like to, uh, read a short poem. Um, it's called. She is Gone by David Harkins. You can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because she has lived. [00:29:30] You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back Or you can open your eyes and see all she has left your heart can be empty because you can't see her or you can be full of the love you shared. You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday. Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday you can remember her [00:30:00] and only that she's gone. Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on You can cry and close your mind, Be empty and turn your back or you can do what she would want. Smile. Open your eyes, love and go on. Um, my name's Herwig, and I'm a friend of Virginia's. Um, I first [00:30:30] met Virginia in 2005. She'd moved into, um, 100 and 85 Victoria Street. I lived in an apartment, uh, two floors above her. I'd see her in the hallways and in the in the lifts without actually knowing her. But it was obvious what a a special person she was. She'd always greet you. Very. Um, there was a big friendly hi and a big smile on her face. There was a She was clearly Well, you know, a stylish lady. She was very, um, always well dressed. She has fantastic coats. Um you know, the big glasses [00:31:00] there was always, um some there was something about her. Without even knowing her. I knew she was special. Um, shortly after moving in, she joined the body Corporate Committee, of which I was chair. It's fair to say we had some work to do in the in the building and, um, basically virgin. I ran it, Um, she she was fantastic. I think about the jobs that she used to do. So, um, in, um, we had on the fourth floor outside, there was some graffiti there. So Verge [00:31:30] decided she was gonna get a cherry picker, and she was gonna paint it out. So she did do that. She got, um she blocked off some parking spaces outside the building. She hired a cherry picker. She taught herself how to drive the damn thing. And then, um, breaking about 20 health and safety laws. She went up there and she painted it out. And actually, that plate paint's still there. Um, by the way, the apartments we had were very nice apartments, but the lobby on the ground floor was pretty crap. And she decided [00:32:00] that she was going to turn it into something that was gave a better first impression to people who were visiting us. So she came to me and said, um, is it OK if I spend some body corporate money on some paint? Um, I'll do all the work. Sure. Off you go. So she bought some paint. Um, and at three o'clock in the morning on a Saturday morning now most people would dress up in overalls and stuff for that kind of work. But but not Virginia. She was dressed as she always was, spectacularly. [00:32:30] Um, but she had a great big plastic thing over her like some oversized condom, and she painted it away. And actually, there was a guy who lived above me who was a, um a bit of a problem in the building, to be honest. And we worked out why it was a bit of a problem, because he came home completely stoned while she was doing it. And so he he she got into a conversation with him about, um perhaps he should lift his game while she was painting this thing in an oversized condom. It's amazing. She was a visionary. Um, so she wanted our building to reduce [00:33:00] its carbon footprint. So she got some, um uh, sky, um, uh, sun light things on the on the roof so that we could power the the heating on the pool via via solar energy. But when she decided that she wanted to put windmills on the top of the top of the building in order to, um, make us get us off the electricity grid completely, I decided she had gone a little bit too far. And maybe I should exercise a little bit of discretion. Our friendship, of course, formed out of that time we had on [00:33:30] the on the body corporate committee. Um, and it's I don't really know how it happened. We just sort of tended to find ourselves in each other's apartments. We never really arranged it. Um, the thing that drew us together largely was that we were both, um, alcoholics. Um, I do remember one, particular Monday night. I actually I have no idea how it happened, but we found I. I found myself in her apartment. Um, at about four o'clock in the morning, I thought, What the hell am I doing here? It's I've got to go to work tomorrow. [00:34:00] and I'm completely drunk. So and I think what happened was that we we decided we'd have a quick drink after work, and we just enjoyed ourselves too much. And before we knew it, it was four o'clock in the morning and I was stumbling up the fire stairs. Um, I think our friendship was characterised as being easy. Um, I didn't You never had to work for it. Um, you just run into her in the street, and suddenly you'd find yourself talking about any topic. She was passionate about. Everything. I think, um, she was obviously, um, into her arts, [00:34:30] and she she loved reading. Um, she was fiercely political. Um, in fact, I was afraid sometimes to express any opinion because I thought I'd get my head bitten off. Um, we had a quiz team which we used to really enjoy, which did the music quiz at the Southern Cross for for for a number of years. Um, I was the only heterosexual on the, uh on the team, and she named us a gaggle of gays, which I thought was a such a fantastic name and was, uh, the reason one of the it's just typical of her that she would should name a quiz [00:35:00] team that, um she was really proud of the stuff she did with, uh, the out in the park and and and the gay, um, the the the out games and so on. Um, she, um whilst I wasn't part of that community, she talked to me endlessly about how proud she was of the work she did with those groups. Um, she loved working at the at the ID. When I first met her, she was working for DIA. Um, but most of the time she worked at the IRD. Um, and I've never seen anyone so passionate about tax. [00:35:30] Um, II. I know more about research on tax than I actually wanted to know. Um, and I will spend the next few weeks trying to forget it. Um, but I think she saw it. Saw it as what it truly is that in fact, it's the way the society raises money to do good. Um, and I think that's why she was passionate about it. And she saw her job as doing good, and I think she generally did. Um, obviously, she was ultimately, she was diagnosed with cancer a number of years ago. Um, [00:36:00] I can't imagine that anyone would hold chemo parties, but obviously she did. And whilst I personally never attended them, I was able to see what she was wearing to chemo parties. Through what? Her posts on Facebook. And, you know, the fabulous shoes she'd wear and all those sort of things. Um, I'm sure she's the only person who's faced such a challenge in that way, But of course, she beat cancer. Um, and life went back to normal. Um, until about 10 months ago, when she was in my home and she told me [00:36:30] that it was back and she wouldn't survive it. Um, after I sort of pulled myself together, I asked her, What could we do for her to just and help me enjoy the rest of my life, please? And frankly, I think that's what everybody did. I mean, I think back to the birthday party, she had, um, last year, Um, the party she had in her apartment following the I can't remember what it's called, but the the the Mexican Festival. They had, um, uh below her and she she had a party in her in her home. Um, all the friends that were [00:37:00] around her, um, basically to her last moments, Um, we did help her enjoy the rest of her life. I'm really proud of that. Um, and in fact, she also went to the quite recently. She went to the Dixie Chicks and A and Adele and so on, despite being very sick, um, you know, it's it's it's great that she managed to enjoy the last days. I thought she faced her mortality in a way that I hope I'm brave enough to do. If I have the same, you know, I have to face the same thing. [00:37:30] The last time I saw her before the the day she died was, uh I had my wife and I had drinks with her in, um in Golding's bar. She was clearly very sick. Her breathing was laboured underneath it all. However, there was still the same effervescent Virginia. Um, what will I remember? I remember the glint in her eye when she was excited. Obviously, she was always excited, but when she was particularly excited, um, the genuine smile, Um, and [00:38:00] the huge laugh she had, um I think the other things I remember on a a few years ago, we went to see, um, Fleetwood Mac. Uh, my wife and I went to see Fleetwood Mac with her. Um, she she was a particular fan of Stephen. Nick gonna finish with a quote from Stephen. Nick the clouds Never expect it when it rains but the sea changes colours, but the sea does not change. Goodbye, Virge. I won't forget you. [00:38:30] I'm Sean. Uh, the You're a mighty and fierce fem queen. And it's an honour to read this for you. This is a fem slam. You say no one can read you. [00:39:00] And I think I am trying. You say you want too much. And I say, I am tired of pretending I don't want anything. I thought I can't possibly be a lesbian because the beings I relate to are those divine drag queens La Leon Queen Proud, hardheaded tutu goddess princess, baby witch bitch slut loveliness [00:39:30] hards and softs pirate proud, glitter crazed, hot headed high homo I submit, I admit I say please dance with me. Soft is stronger than hard. I can't be reasonable. It's just too limited My washing lines my room while I grasp for words and bravery to reach to be fearless. I [00:40:00] invited you because I didn't want anyone to be alone. However it is, we should be able to be close to one another when it is awkward when we hold. When it is hard, when there is not light when the glitter has run down the drain. When your body remembers when my body remembers and dreams the shame you poured me, let it be different. Let us be brave. You have so much swagger. [00:40:30] We have been called many things in our lives. And then lately someone called me a peacock. They made me screech and perform on a street corner, dancing on curbs and feeling my spin stretch and lift sky proud, shimmering feathers showing off their butch found my fam and there was joy and terror in it. Terror of revealing, showing wearing skirts of not being queer enough, [00:41:00] political enough if I care so much about expression and beauty and process and art, and I don't know the right words for anything, but I want to Is that enough? And if I can't walk in high heels or write as well as I want is that enough and if what I want to do when they tell you ugly things in your ear and threaten you and block my path is smother them with colour. Is this enough? And when they make me fear to walk my own [00:41:30] town without a big black coat, if all I want to do is make an army of glittering, dripping soldiers who flood bigness and love and wash the streets with shiny paths. Is this resistance enough? We are in this together. Write to her. Your one abandoned movement has opened a new room in me. It is filled with treasure. [00:42:00] I got lost in Gallery Lafayette. I was at the perfume counter and everything was gold and sweet and pink. My ancestors sailed and fought and fell out for generations over gold. I waited there, waited for my real parents to come and pick me up the ones who are millionaires, the ones who will buy me all of these gold things, she says, sitting here on [00:42:30] this sofa beside my daughter. I have to tell you, you have no idea what it's like to be a woman in this world. I will use everything I have to defend you I have your back and I will put my body before them. Write to him. What have I not told you? I have not told you this. That I would fight bare knuckle to be loved my whole life by boys [00:43:00] like you to find these places that are always being found and always being lost and trying to speak. I would blood my elbows to get into here to get the hands like yours all the way until I catch my breath and catch you. I have not told you that this trying lusting experiment this reaching for more. This balancing on faith is all there is and all I want there to be and all I look for nets when my [00:43:30] head swims and loses its ground Those nets are also made by us by our kind By all of our kind there is kindness in queer. I have not told you that. Yes, we love in different ways and we love different things. But when we love each other, it is the right thing. I have not told you that every sequin every shine that reflects us both every fierce, every high heel, every [00:44:00] telling every showing it is for me. And it is for you because you see me and that we defend this kingdom of ours tooth and nail and fight and beg and kneel before it and water it and need it. Raise it, hide it, shelter it Because we know what home is worth. Home is what we build together. We love you for you. [00:44:30] Thank you. Rebecca, Herwig and Sean. We're now going to have a song from Ruth. Who's going to perform for us today? Yeah. Dream [00:45:00] [00:45:30] right. [00:46:00] [00:46:30] Mhm. Right. Time, please. [00:47:00] Bye. [00:47:30] Right. Draw straight [00:48:00] was drawing him. [00:48:30] We [00:49:00] we [00:49:30] we [00:50:00] Thank you, Rose. Can I now invite Shelley who will read messages from these boys who are overseas? Yes. V has boys overseas. Quite a few of them. Shelley will be followed by Ben, who will be reading messages from another friend in the US. [00:50:30] Yeah, my name is Shelley, and I can't even recall actually where uh or when? I certainly know where uh I met was at Scott and and I think many of us probably first encountered her in that, uh, establishment, um, years ago. But my memory of V my memories of V are difficult to separate from [00:51:00] Jack and, uh, to me, they've struck me as a as a homogeneous whole, uh, the peer of them two quite different people in appearance, um, and perhaps conduct. And it's sort of, but it But it struck me that their relationship [00:51:30] was singularly good, um, strong. And I was thinking in the share of all places this morning, how how is it that this symmetry this, uh, synergy, um, was happening and it And it struck me that here we have two people, um, with very similar qualities. They've got strength. Uh, they've got courage, uh, empathy, empathy [00:52:00] and spa, um, energy and such giving, uh, to our communities. Um, And you wonder where sort of how two people who are so alike can get on without any sort of a a acrimony and and, um, and friction. And, uh, and it struck me that perhaps the difference was in Jack [00:52:30] to me. He strikes me as the ideal, if you like masculine and and Elizabeth the ideal feminine. And I think that's the yin and yang of their relationship that kept them so strong together. So everything else and they worked together that if you like that masculinity that Yin and Yang brought them together and made them into a fantastic hole. And that's how I think of of [00:53:00] both of you, Jack. You and sorry. And, um and I think that's how I I'll always see you, because you both brings, um, brings so much to our lives. So thank you. Thank you. And thank you. V. Uh, I'm very fortunate to be asked to speak to, um the tributes from these boys. Uh, I have three to speak [00:53:30] to, so please bear with me. Unfortunately, if they sound repetitious, I cannot apologise. I've had no input into the writing of these. They've come from people from different countries from different parts of the world. And they've all come to this one point connected by the one person who brings the same expressions of love in from everybody. So bear with me. When we arrived in New Zealand back in 2011, we were feeling blessed. The ultimate gift [00:54:00] from God was to get a chance to meet with one of the most incredible and kindest people on Earth. Virginia made us feel at home that very specific place where your heart belongs. She was the one who made us realise that everything is possible with good will, respect and engagement, that nothing resists openness, free love, good conversations and a glass of white wine on a Friday evening when we finally had to leave, we were certainly sad, [00:54:30] but we were no longer the same. We had been re-energized and ready to spread all around the message of tolerance, acceptance and care. Virginia, thanks for everything you have done and offered. You will always live on in our hearts, and we promise to be the proud and devoted messengers of your approach to life with all our love, Julian and Vincent, that's from France. [00:55:00] Second, I'm so fortunate that V was one of the first people I met among the close friendships that developed upon my arrival in Wellington. Like many, I was instantly drawn to a fabulous style, cheeky sense of humour and her zest for life. I think many will agree that being friends with V was like having your own personal cheerleader. She was perpetually optimistic and supportive of her friends and always eager and willing to join them in whatever adventures came along. I'll always cherish [00:55:30] the many laughs, squee, deep conversations and silly moments. We shared both with each other and with friends. It is impossible to list all of the amazing things about V. Fearless, engaging, dedicated, intelligent, positive, loving and gorgeous. Inside and out are only a few that spring to mind. The taught me that friendships are not the result of time, but of laughter and moments [00:56:00] shared. My life is exponentially better because of his mark on it. I miss you, dear friend. Love always Alan. It's Alan McKenna. I'm not sure where Alan is now. Is he back in Canada or yeah, Third one Virginia as a natural people connector. She welcomed us warmly into the Wellington LGBTI community when we arrived in 2010. Our our arrival coincided [00:56:30] with the preparations for a major rainbow event here in Wellington. We then quickly worked out ideas on how the Dutch Embassy could support the art games. Virginia, combining professionalism with an elegant, charming approach, made it easy to convince Ambassador a van der to support the human rights conference being held concurrently. With the Out games being inspired by her energetic presence in the community, Arno decided to join her team in organising the following out in the square event. [00:57:00] Unfortunately, in 2013, the time came for us to leave beautiful Wellington and its loving community. Having lived abroad for 20 years, we felt we should return to Holland and strive for a similar sense of community at home. It was lovely, then, to meet up with again in 2014 with Virginia and Jack and some of you in Dublin, where Ben's old choir, the glamour phones, participated in the various voices event. Thank you, Virginia, for everything [00:57:30] you gave to the LGBTI community, but also for being such a an inspiration to ourselves. And and I'd just like to finish with another personal, um, thing Virginia has that had that unique quality of being in a crowd and yet still being able to engage you in a personal, intimate conversation. And I remember having one such conversation, uh, playing bowls [00:58:00] one Sunday in, uh in the lower hut, and, uh, she was talking about my style and reckon I should be wearing sleeveless tops or dresses and the like and, uh, and I complained that No, I've spent the best part of five decades trying to be butch and everything that that's not feminine about me, uh, and living the lie. And so having come out and being Trans, the last thing I wanted to do was [00:58:30] was present anything that would would be hint at masculinity but told me but and encouraged me that, you know, that was really just a part of who I am and that, um, I should embrace that. And so the know, [00:59:00] um, I'm just here on behalf of Tyrone, who's in Columbus, Ohio, looking up at his parents. Um, I think I've been chosen to speak to him by on behalf of him. Because we look the same. I'm I'm a little bit taller, so don't tell him yet. And I think, um, before I start, I think if he was here, he would probably start this by saying, Hey, boo boo. Um, Virginia lived in a magical bubble in which anyone who [00:59:30] entered felt appreciated, Appreciated for the person we show we choose to show the world and celebrated for who we are in our souls. There was a moment at one of these sores where she was gifted a dance from some of her friends. Two morph suited artists danced amongst the assembled group of bankers and barristers, drag performers and civil servants. Whilst the lyrics My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard swirled from the speakers. That was a powerful moment that could [01:00:00] only have happened because of the There is a phrase that states pain is caused from lack of from a lack of space. So it should be no surprise that I have been changed for the better by having been in Ger's space, a space she filled with laughter and music, passion and ideas, eloquent pronunciation, a healthy dish of subversion and, of course, love. And that was the true magic of Verge love, love, Tyrone. [01:00:30] Thank you, Shelley and Ben, Can I ask the team from outer spaces to come forward now with their tribute to the hi there? I'm here today to speak on behalf of Outer Spaces, an organisation that we supported for many years and to whom we are so grateful. With the help of those in the organisation who have been involved for longer than I and have had the privilege to work with V over many years, I'd like to share [01:01:00] with you some of the amazing things that V has done not just for outer spaces but for the wider community of rainbow Youth in Wellington. In preparation for this speech, I was encouraged by a fellow board member, Sandra, to take a listen to some interviews with V on the Pride NZ website. Um, Sandra felt that V was well represented there, speaking passionately about our Rainbow communities. She was right. There was so much passion. There was her talking about transphobia, homophobia and [01:01:30] biphobia. There's her talking about queering up places and the importance of community and all the events that she was a part of organising over many, many years here in Wellington. And amongst all of this, she delivers a very clear message that young people in rainbow communities still experience all kinds of challenges in coming out and deciding to transition, and she stresses the importance of supporting young people against the effects of oppression. I'm a member of this younger queer community, [01:02:00] and while I didn't know V well, I've certainly benefited from her passion, her generosity and her legacy. It was really special for me to hear her speak passionately about the young rainbow community. It really gave me an insight into the driving force behind her many generous acts. Recently I've learned how much of a fierce, fabulous FM V was. And on behalf of outer spaces, I'd like to say how much her fierce fighting spirit has meant to us [01:02:30] over the years. Outer Spaces is the umbrella organisation in Wellington, which brings together sexuality and gender diverse youth support initiatives, including schools out transform, naming New Zealand and the binder exchange Outer spaces is a meeting ground, a place of joint work and support. V and her partner, Jack, have been an unwavering. They've been unwavering supporters of outer spaces and all our youth initiatives. And for many years [01:03:00] now, in fact, together V and Jack have organised so many fundraising events for outer spaces, it's hard to remember them all. One such event was the fabulous. The first Feb, I'm told, was in 2013 and since then has been a near annual event. Along with organising and hosting these events, Jack and V also managed to encourage their friends to perform um at the lunches, which was a very strategic move to encourage [01:03:30] the attendees to open up their wallets and donate even more money to other spaces cash that was so desperately needed by us to keep running our Rainbow Youth support groups Here in Wellington. Those faul lunches weren't just about raising money, though. They were also a valuable opportunity to connect older rainbow folks to the work being done by us young At each faul lunch representatives from the various organisations under the umbrella of outer spaces were invited to attend and speak about the work being done [01:04:00] back in 2015. While I was a facilitator for schools at, I had the privilege of attending one such event. For me, this opportunity was powerful not only because it was a chance to speak to these generous benefactors about the amazing work that we were doing, but it was also a really special opportunity for me to meet older LGBT folk. There can sometimes be a disconnect between generations within our rainbow community, Um, but this fabulous was an opportunity to build a bridge [01:04:30] of understanding between young and old er um, to to extend our rainbow. Sometimes as a rainbow young person, it's easy to think that you're alone out here, but to see all those incredible, successful older queer folk who had, in my opinion, made it was really powerful for me, a reminder about the of visibility just being out and proud and yourself is a powerful tool and [01:05:00] a reminder for me just how important outer spaces is. Of course, Faul lunches weren't the only way they showed her support for outer spaces. There were other fundraising efforts, too, like finding us rent and office furniture and passionately gathering volunteers to help with youth events in Wellington. More recently, there was the famous George Michael auction on Trade Me uh, Jack, and we managed to get their hands on the incredible winged and belled Saint George Michael Cutter that was positioned in the Iko Iko window for Pride Week. [01:05:30] The fact that after a ferocious bidding war, we bought George to make sure her and Jack didn't have to part with his fabulousness. Tells us, tells us all that we need to know about her. She was sheer class, queer to the bone and a staunch giver to outer spaces and, by extension, all rainbow young people in Wellington. Many of you will know that V's generosity to outer spaces extended right up until the moment that she left this place. She insisted those [01:06:00] attending the community event in her honour last Sunday gave A to us it feels to us like she was thinking about how to make the world a better place, a safer place, a more celebratory place for rainbow young people, right up until her last breath. Outer Spaces would like to express our deepest respect and love to V and to Jack and to everyone out here today to mourn her. She was a very special woman [01:06:30] that we feel richer for having known for having known. We are grateful for the way she modelled what being a member of the rainbow community should be about supporting all of us to fight fiercely for our rights to celebrate who we are. Thank you. V has created a message for us all, and it's available here today. Please take a copy when you leave these parents Judy and Harry [01:07:00] and her partner Jack. Thank you for your love and support that you've extended here today. Following the service, we invite you to join us for refreshments at the hall at Saint Andrews, on the terrace for anybody who wants to brave the Wellington weather out there? You're welcome to join us. In a walking procession through the terrace via Parliament's front lawn. A small group of friends and family will leave at 2 p.m. for a private cremation. Then [01:07:30] a gathering to share stories, laughs, tears and hugs will be held at Viva in Dixon Street at 3 30 with cocktails at S and M Bar in Cuba Street. At 5 30 you are most welcome to join us to celebrate our dearest thee. It's time to draw our ceremony to a close and our final. We call [01:08:00] on the supreme sacredness to release me to free her heart, her body and her spirit. I invite you all to help me do that. And so there's a couple of places in the that we need your reply. And so when I say at the end, I'll call out and you reply. So practise that now. So I'll go and you go [01:08:30] and then the next one I'll call out and then you go one more time. And what that means is that we are all agreed. So be it that we are united in our purpose and I just want to acknowledge that there's some of us some of you out there who are not quite there yet. [01:09:00] You wish you could have seen me one more time. Uh, you wish you could have done something You wish she hadn't done something. But in this space, V can see right into your heart. So let us revel in our shared love for Virginia Rose Bins, and we will send her off. And the absolute style that she deserves in the most glamorous [01:09:30] casket on the planet, the V box. Mhm. I would now like to invite up our pool bearers. Arthur, Ben, Debbie, Stu, Roger and Ed. I [01:10:00] would also like to invite up gay. And if there are any other in the house, I would like you to come up to be by me up here as well. So once you're in position, we'll do our We'll finish this together and let's send her off. [01:10:30] It it. Put it out. [01:11:00] Yeah, 15. [01:11:30] [01:12:00] Why, thank you, Captain. Yeah, [01:12:30] [01:13:00] [01:13:30] Yeah. Oh, [01:14:00] talk. [01:14:30] Yeah, [01:15:00] yeah, yeah.
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