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David Jones were in the second day of 2014. Um, and it is freezing. We're sitting in the now. How has the hui been? And what kind of organisation Ninja skills do you have to have to pull this off? We're only on day two, but, [00:00:30] uh, even from the start, when the when the rang out at the, um, I was, um, overwhelmed. Um, with everything that had gone right up until that point and the set it off on a really positive note, Um, so much so that I just sort of trusted the process that, um, everyone had followed up until that point. And so I knew that the the outcome that was envisaged would actually come about. And it's the second day. Now, um, [00:01:00] the first day was wonderful. The second day there were better, Uh, and we've got one more to go and I, I can just only imagine that it's going to be as good as or perhaps even as better as the last two days. And what number is this? I mean, you've come to a number of these in the past. Yeah, well, my first one, I have been in by the organising committee, uh, to run workshops on and spirituality. And at that at that time, though, I thought, Oh, this [00:01:30] is just a bunch of, you know, they're sort of either young kids or, um 20. Something just sort of felt invisible. So I didn't really think that, um, they would regard as having a place in their particular lives at that time. Uh, so I turned the whole, um, uh the whole focus of the seminar on into a, um into a game show for everybody. Um, and, um, I [00:02:00] got them interested in spirituality on that particular level. So we had, um, next top witch doctor, Um and, uh, and all of the participants were competing against each other, um, regarding their knowledge of Maori spirituality. But from there, um, I really liked the feeling that I got from the particular who, because it was all about all about unity and all about oneness. And that's, um And although we're a really broad [00:02:30] cross section of the GL BT community, um, we all seem to come together on those commonalities. And from then, um, uh, I went to an next, uh, another one and uh, this is this will be my third one, but it actually is the chair in organising this one. You know, it's, uh there's a really lovely feeling here of I mean, the what people are talking about tends to be quite heavy around various [00:03:00] coming out stories and experiences of being. And what's that? What that has meant in terms of community. But the feeling here is really lovely. Yeah, it's of acceptance and non judgement. I mean, people are talking about it, but it's quite another thing to feel it. A Yeah, I think, um, for a long time, Um, a lot of the GL BT Q I community. Um, [00:03:30] I had always been quite dissatisfied with the way that, um, the heterosexual community have perceived them. Um uh, and that, um they were totally alien to, um our normal, um, society. So the issues that affected them were entirely of their own and that sort of thing. But if we look at a higher level at the human condition and that need for love and acceptance and that sort of thing that runs right across society, [00:04:00] and so, um, this particular cross section of the community came together with With that, with that in mind, those values in mind, Um, and so they can express anything. Um, they can talk about anything, and they can be quite frank about it. Um, I don't know that their views will be respected as a young man yourself. When you came out with a like this have been beneficial for you. [00:04:30] Yeah. Yeah, undoubtedly. And although this has been going since 1986 I had been so, uh, caught up with, um, other things in my life that, um, as my sort of sexuality itself, um, was put on the wayside. So I was a virgin up until 26. And then when I found out And then when I found out how to use it, Well, then I was away. But, um, but if I had known about these types of, um, forums and these types of conferences, um, [00:05:00] then perhaps I would have approached that part of my life a little bit earlier, OK? Really love it? Do you tend to see the same people coming year after year? No. The, um there are other, you know, the [00:05:30] wars and the the ones that hold everything together um, but there's But depending on where it goes, there's a broader range of people that keep coming. Um, this year was a little bit different because we have tried to incorporate, um, our who have, um GL BT Q i members in their family. Um, so that they could come and, um, listen to some of the concerns that their own members have that perhaps they were unaware of. Or perhaps they didn't. [00:06:00] They, um, ignored it because they didn't. They themselves didn't know how to help their members or, you know, members of the family who were going through those particular issues. Um, and in my own case, my dad was the same. Um, and and he was so cute. He, um he was a little bit insecure with me coming out only because he didn't know how to provide leadership for me as a dad and that sort of thing. And [00:06:30] I know because my dad, he's a dude and he takes he's the head of the family, and he takes it as a family. And what affects the one individual affects the family. So, um, and I luckily, I saw it for what it was and I had to. Sure. My father, he was a good dad and that, um I have got some issues, but I will get through them myself. And what about your siblings? How are they? Are they good? My sister married her wife. Um uh, two years ago. Now, three years, three years ago. Now, uh, and my other brother and sisters, [00:07:00] I'm the oldest. Uh, so they sort of found it a little bit comical that they're the oldest and strongest of their brothers who come out. Um, but they are totally accepting because, um, to a certain degree, I was, um I was a, you know, strong mentor for all of my brothers and sisters. And you've been I mean, you got married yourself. Yes. Um um 11, 12, 13 11th of December, 2013. Um, my partner [00:07:30] and I We I got married at the registry office, uh, here in Hamilton city. And then, um, we had a big family dinner together that evening. It was very nice. So how valuable was it that gay marriage was legalised in for you? Well, for me individually, um, as an individual, um, I love my partner and to me, that's all that all that really matters. But I could see how important it was for my partner to, you know, to [00:08:00] go through that ritual of belonging and that sort of thing. And so I did it for my partner because basically, the thing is, it's about making people visible. So prejudice, homophobia is so insidious because it makes people invisible. Yeah, One of the funniest things, I suppose, is that people don't know that they're being homophobic sometimes, um, because they [00:08:30] don't recognise things outside of their own immediate sphere. And so those things that sort of seem alien or unlike them, they tend to ignore. And, I mean, I've got to say I've been I've been really horrified at some of the stories that have been coming out. So, for instance, um, people with HIV people who have died and the way have responded to that in terms of them being [00:09:00] allowed to be buried in the when they come back to the back to the and the thing around, burying in the and Yeah, and that was one of the those were a couple of the drivers. I suppose that, um I mean, that's challenging to hear when we live in a as Maori is supposed to be, you know? [00:09:30] You know, I mean, that's confronting when I heard that it was confronting the fact that some or even gay who were going to into and having the additional smash straight after for fear of the local community catching anything even though they mean the people eating may not have had anything. And then there's other extremes of people passing away from HIV AIDS and being unable to be buried in the family cemetery for fear of any of the, um, virus [00:10:00] leaching into the into the and that sort of thing. Um, let alone the fact that embalming flu, it has an even worse effect on the environment. Um, but, um, so this so I saw an opportunity there. I saw an opportunity there not only for um, this cross section of communities to come together in oneness and unity and be accepted amongst themselves, but an opportunity to open it broader and to inform those people who were doing those types of things that, um to allay them of their [00:10:30] fears. And they were coming. They were coming from those positions because of a lack of information and just no knowledge. And, um, of the of, you know, HIV aids or gay people and that sort of thing as well. So that was one of the main drivers. And, um, the other day and the other day I was, um uh I laughed a little bit when I heard one of the old queers and she was reading a flag that was flying out in front of the, [00:11:00] um, as part of the, um, safe sex promotions for, um, people to wear condoms. And the was reading the flag. And it's lovely, Your condom. And she she had a good hard look at the flag. And then she went, Love you, we when she saw the condom and did she spun around in the Maori. She shouted out the cancellation for what she had just read and all [00:11:30] the other nannies all boo start laughing. And there was a couple of nannies there who were a little bit startled, you know, with that with that with, um, with that particular flag. But then they all agreed they had come to support their and, uh, and support the issues that affected their members, who were coming to the and they all said Yes, we're here for And so we will support the And then they had a good cackle and a laugh, and then they, you know, they went back to their normal day.
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