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Hi, I'm Doctor Alison Laurie. I was the Gender and Women's Studies programme director at Victoria University of Wellington here in New Zealand for many years. I'm a writer, oral historian and lesbian and gay activist. Today I'm going to be looking at the poet Mary Ursula Bethel, who lived, uh, between 18 74 and 1945. And I'm going to be looking at her relationship with, uh if pollen Henrietta Dorothea. If Pollen, who was five years younger, she lived between [00:00:30] 18 79 and 1934 and at Ursula's, uh, reactions after the death of which were very sad and tragic, and also with her later, uh, relationship with, uh, some other women. The relationship between Ursula Bethel and the woman she called her consort lasted for over 30 years. They lived as expatriates for many years [00:01:00] and didn't return to live in New Zealand until they were in their forties and when they were able to establish an independent and private domestic life. Bessel's wealth created an idyllic context for the relationship, and their domestic and creative life was protected by her class position in the affluent Christchurch suburb of Kashmir, Bessel wrote Most of her poetry during the period of her relationship with Poland, describing their home, garden and life together. And she was [00:01:30] devastated by Poland's death. The relationship has been presented by some biographers as platonic and maternal, and it's interesting about this because Bessel herself sometimes used the term maternal to explain her feelings. However, from the early 20th century there was an influential homosexual maternal discourse, explaining, uh, lesbianism, and the well educated and travelled Bessel must have been familiar with this material. [00:02:00] Bethel's expression maternal constituent then may function similarly to expressions like Spinster, old Maid, blue stocking and Lady Husband and other ways that some earlier women may have referred to their really important romantic, passionate and sexual relationships with other women. Ursula Bessel was the first child of Isabelle and Richard Bessel. She was born in Surrey, England, in 18 [00:02:30] 74. The family returned to New Zealand the following year, and they lived at Nelson and then at where their father, Richard, died in 18 82 and the family were left moderately wealthy. She attended Christchurch Girls High School and was then educated overseas, uh, at Miss Sales School in Oxford, England, and then at a Swiss school in Lake Geneva. She returned to New Zealand at the age of 18 in 18 92 and did social work in the Christchurch Aan diocese [00:03:00] until his second trip to England in 18 95 to study painting in Geneva and music in Dresden. Uh, this is interesting because Dresden has a lot of associations with women going there to study. It's also, uh, it also figures as a place with, uh, later a strong, uh, branch of the Institute for Sexual Science set up by Magnus Hirschfeld. And it's the city where the first transgender [00:03:30] operation was performed, uh, in the early part of the 20th century. So it's interesting that she was there. Clearly, uh, there were a number of communities there which, uh, could, uh, be a greater investigation. Anyway, she moves back to London, where she joins the Grey Ladies and Anglican women's community, and that's where she meets Effie Pollen in 19 05 when she's 31 and Pollen is 26. When Poland [00:04:00] returned to New Zealand, Bessel followed, and, uh, from 1910, she lived with her mother in Saint Albans, Christchurch, continuing work in the parish and she goes back to London for wartime work between 1914 to 18, and the two women settle back in Christchurch from 1919, uh, where she purchases rise cottage at Western Terrace on the cashmere hills. Uh, they live at Rise Cottage until Pollen's death in 1934 [00:04:30] when Bethel moves back to Webb Street in Christchurch, which is one of the family properties, and she dies in 1945 she's buried in the Bethel family grave at If Pollen is buried at Kroy Cemetery with the Pollen family. If he was the daughter of Doctor Henry Pollen from Ireland and Kathleen Burke from Napier, she had one younger sister, and the family had lived in Gisborne, where if he was born, [00:05:00] uh, until they moved to Wellington, where Doctor Pollen established his medical practise and his residence at, uh, street in a house, which has been moved now to the uh corner of B Street and Willow Street and which is today a restaurant and has had a number of existence as quite an attractive house. If his mother died, Uh, in 18 94 and Doctor Pollen died during the influenza epidemic in 1918. They were buried in the family [00:05:30] plot at, and that was where if he was then subsequently buried after her death from a brain haemorrhage aged only 55 in 1934 and despite their 30 year relationship, there seemed to have been family expectations that each would be buried in their respective family plots. Um, if he and Ursula had met in 19 05, when if he had become involved with Ursula and had begun to live with the [00:06:00] Bethel family in their subsequent life. Living together at their home and rice cottage, Bethel, uh, calls pollen her little raven. In a poem called Grace, she writes, I have a little raven who brings me my dinner. Her dress is a raven. Her tres is a raven. She brings me my dinner, but not by a book. She feeds me. She scolds me. She scolds me. She feeds me. I'm a hungry old sinner. She brings me my dinner. She cooks it in the kitchen beside a cookery book. [00:06:30] Little Raven was a famously lively racing pony of the 18 nineties, and perhaps Bell's pet name for pollen was based on this characteristic. The activities expressed in the poem suggest energy and liveliness, the hungry old sinner, a reference to a stereotypical New Zealand masculinity. Scolded by the consort in the poem Discipline. In this poem, Bessel writes, I said, I will go into the garden and consider roses. I will. I [00:07:00] will observe the deployment of their petals and compare one variety with another. But I was made to sit down and scrape potatoes. The morning's rose buds passed by unattended while I sat bound to monotonous kitchen industry. How be at the heart of my consort was exhilarated and for virtuous renunciation, I received praise. The taste of the potatoes was satisfactory, with a spread of fresh mint, dairy butter and very young green peas. If pollen seems [00:07:30] to have taken a practical and cheerful approach to life, Uh, and certainly seems to have known how to manage Ursula, who seems to have been rather more temperamental, Bethel wrote, My darling announced one day that as for her, she couldn't see anything in life, which consists of doing what you didn't want to do and doing without what you require. And she just didn't agree with creation. And this seems to me to be a comment on, UH, lesbianism and relationships [00:08:00] between women. Pollen may have been influenced by romantic evangelicalism and other forms of radical Christian thinking that did not regard any loving relationship as sinful. Possibly Bessel had held similar views with their religious ideas and harmony with their relationship. This comment on what you require suggests they might have held modern ideas on health and sexuality and thought that they were perfectly entitled to have such a relationship. However, though they might have [00:08:30] been positive about their relationship in private, they were, uh, quite careful in public while guarding their privacy. They did invite friends to visit, including homosexual men. Uh, the bisexual artist toss. Williston was a friend and, uh, also the wealthy homosexual poet. Charles, Uh, Brash was a friend, and, uh, Walt Darcy Cresswell, uh, visited and various other, uh, people. So [00:09:00] they they were not isolated, despite the private nature of their relationship. And, uh, certainly some of Ursula Bethel's letters to Rodney Kennedy, um, imply more communication and discussion of same sex relationships. His these letters are in the Hocken Library in Dunedin. After if he died, pollen is grief stricken. It happened very suddenly. [00:09:30] It was a few days after Bethel's 60th birthday, Pollen complained of severe headaches. She went to bed, and she died. Three weeks later. The distraught Bessel wrote openly of her grief for pollen and letters and in the six memorial poems composed on the anniversaries of Pollen's death. These poems were not intended for publication, though she sent copies to friends, and they were not published in five years after her own death. The first memorial poem was written in October 1935 where she wrote, The green has [00:10:00] Come Back The spring Green, the new Green Darling, the young green upon the field, willows and the gorse on the wild hills was never so yellow. Together together past years we have looked on the scene. You were laughter my liking and frolic My last one. I must assemble and smile Still, for your sake. Now that I know how springtime is heartbreak now you have left me to look upon all that is lovely Alone. As the second anniversary of Poland's death approach, [00:10:30] Bessel wrote to Rodney Kennedy, uh, that the loneliness closed round me again, to which I'm going accustomed and only sometimes dare to think of the years when everything was shared. I am not proud, Rodney. Of all the sadness of looking back, I think it is limiting God because it is as good as saying that his resources have run out, that he can't do as much again that something uniquely beautiful has perished. I don't really hold with that, but it does seem as if this darkness was something I have to endure. [00:11:00] She thought, too, that that it was very sad setting my things alone. She could not go on in a muddle and that her lost friend would rather have me found in pleasing surroundings, so I shall have to go on with it to please her. In the second memorial poem November 1936 she wrote that she tried to brighten up the Web Street house. Today I trimmed my lonely dwelling place with flowers. Memories asked garlands. I see you, darling, dispose handed your bright Bunches in that happy home of ours because the years to months [00:11:30] diminish days to hours and love is stronger than deaths. Anger. I have a dawn today alone, my brief abiding place with flowers. At the third anniversary, she wrote to Rodney Kennedy, the utter devotion and love of an exquisite person was squandered daily hourly on me, adding that for these three years I have been waiting to know what to do with this desolation. The first task was to go on living without tenderness, without joy, without fun, without sharing, needed by no one, and going deeper into [00:12:00] the bitter knowledge of how much more I might have given. She warned Kennedy that if one offers everything to God, then no know what you are doing, because if God takes it, you are left in great darkness and dread. Deciding to remain at home for this anniversary, she wrote to him, Perhaps I will just stay put now that my impulse is to get away for race week that week that she lay dying, her third memorial poem, written in November 1937 she's writing about the Webb Street Garden where she's living, she [00:12:30] mourns, left. With all this, I lack what made it mine. For the fourth anniversary of Poland's death, she visited the pollen family grave at Cory Cemetery, where she had previously been with who's now also, of course, buried there. In November 38 she wrote Dearest. These four years I had been consenting to live onwards alone, and she explained in a letter to Kennedy that though they did not visit the pollen family grave often they was meant to go back. Now the thought of going there without the companion will lose. [00:13:00] Lose the desolation. I have no superstitious feelings about cemeteries, but it will be something to do on the eighth of November, when she was caught away to go out and put a bunch of flowers beside her name. The fifth poem, November 39 is written at the seaside town an hour from Christchurch on Banks Peninsula. And this one explains once again, my darling, it has come the time you died and on this quiet harbour once again, I look return I now to join a casual throng, no more rounding alone, a queen [00:13:30] of the sea scalloped track. Shall I surprise to perceive, my dear, with Pace coming to meet me and with eager look of love and go companions. Nor may I ask to know such cherished company such tender love again. She wrote to Kennedy that there were many reminders in a where we used to come together, but it is so quiet and beautiful. It is healing. In the sixth and final poem, Spring 1940 written in Christchurch, he again mourned the coming of spring and the anniversary of Poland's death, asking [00:14:00] God to match spring with vision, spirit of beauty. Bring with your persuasive love to the inward eye awakening least looking on this life to count what time has taken. I cannot bear the pain. And, uh, she wrote to Holcroft soon after Poland's death that it has been a complete shattering of my life from her. I have had love, tenderness and understanding for 30 years, a close and happy companionship in this house [00:14:30] for 10 years. I shall not want another home on this planet. And later she, uh she does develop, uh, friendships with other women. She develops a strong friendship with a woman. Kathleen Taylor. Uh, she meets her in 1941 when she's 66 and Taylor is in her early twenties, and this relationship may have been platonic, though her letters to Kathleen [00:15:00] Taylor are passionate and loving, and significantly, she does not write any further despairing memorial poems about if pollen after she meets Kathleen Taylor. She may have thought that God had managed to do as much again when Taylor came to live with her at Webb Street. However, she encourages, uh, Kathleen Taylor to marry, and, uh, she does she marries, uh, Davies. Um, he is a curate. And it seems that she, [00:15:30] uh, totally supports this. She wrote to Taylor. It was curiously natural to have you about catcher. I felt it almost from the first and later that I'd venture to put it in my prayer, seeing that life was going on, that if it were possible, three things might come to me again love and poetry and a home. And then she adds how strangely and unexpectedly your dear little love came comparing it to my coming 37 years ago. Because before I knew her, I felt sorry [00:16:00] about her feeling lonely. Similarly, I didn't take you in at all in the first evening. I asked you to come again because Paul said you were lonely in your lodging and I asked him whether you would care to come the second time. I remember seeing that you were a very right minded, uh, young woman, and then I was charmed by by you being hungry like a boy. Bezel's attraction to Taylor's boyish and useful hunger. Maybe for food and maybe be referring to other physical needs suggests a maternal attraction. [00:16:30] Uh, and she does call, uh, her relationships, uh, maternal. And given the 40 year age difference, this relationship may not have been, particularly if at all, Sexual and because of her enduring love with Paul and Bethel, may well have regarded all subsequent physical relationships as faceless to her memory. Um, a letter written to Taylor when she was on her honeymoon with Davies says she and she writes [00:17:00] in this. Not that it's everything this two sided sexuality. I think my prose shows that pretty clearly, don't you? There was peace and happiness for all the blemishes at Rise cottage and fun. Such fun and you don't have fun without peace. Lots of anxiety, too. And there in perhaps, the maternal constituent was having its day. So all of these letters and poems can be interpreted as strongly being influenced by Bethel's [00:17:30] love her her passionate attachments. Firstly, to Effie, Poland, later Kathleen Taylor. Uh, clearly it influences her poetry. Clearly, it's highly significant in her life, and I think to ignore these relationships will try to dismiss them as simple. Ordinary friendships which were celibate is to ignore the depth of the love, the depth of the emotion and the way in which she based her life, Uh, on the importance of these friendships [00:18:00] with other women.
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