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Hello. How are you today? I'm good. Thank you. That's good. How are you? I'm Teddy. Hello, Tedy. You, um you're like one of the facilitators for QS. A. Um, yeah. I'm the national coordinator of an organisation called the QS. A network. And we're just kind of, um, starting up. We're about to apply to be a trust. Um, yes, and it's very exciting. Very exciting. You've You've practically travelled around New Zealand because [00:00:30] of this, haven't you? Um, I wouldn't go that far. We've been doing some rural outreach. Um, work so recently. We've been doing that in Wanganui in Palmerston North. But you've also been to Auckland as well? Yes, but not because of that. But yeah, I've been to lots of different places. You travel, Are you? So, um, can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Um, yes. What do you want to know? What about, [00:01:00] um, I don't know. That's quite a hard question to answer IINFP not to say so. You go to uni or um, no, I've moved up to Wellington from Nelson last year. Um, and yeah, I'm just doing lots of volunteer work, getting a network set up. Um and it's really exciting. The name out there [00:01:30] and doing theatre is my other passion. So you doing the projects? I love the theatre. So do do you, like, go to ST James a lot? Um, no. That's probably a bit extensive and high class for me, but I love some of the they put on it back. I work at Civic Theatre, so I'm very like, Wow, about the theatre. So, um, what is your sexuality, not sexuality? Let's start this again. What is your sex female? [00:02:00] And what is your gender identity and what is your sexuality? Um, my sexual orientation is queer and pansexual. And what is your culture identity? Um, I was brought up in England. So English or european? Um, yeah, but I moved to New Zealand when I was 12, so I guess I'm also a New Zealander, but I identify more strongly, I think, with [00:02:30] my English kind of heritage. Um, and I still don't have residency in New Zealand yet, so I'm not a proper citizen or anything. Whereabouts in England. Were you from, um, Suffolk Suck. Oh, yes. Um, So how do you express yourself in a masculine or feminine way? or any other expression? Um, I identify as a fin, um, which to me is not just about, um, kind of what you wear and stuff. [00:03:00] It's more of a Yeah, an identity. Um, yes. Would you, like, go and expand on that? I think it's kind of about, um, reclaiming femininity. Um, from a queer perspective, um, showing that you can be queer and feminine, and that's great. And yeah. So, um, when did you realise that you were pansexual? Um, well, I [00:03:30] came out first as bisexual, um, when I was, like, 14. Um, and then later on, I kind of thought more about the term and decided I preferred the term pan sexual because encompasses all gender identities. Um, whereas some people think that bisexual doesn't, um, I don't really believe that either, but I just like pansexual as a fit for me. When was the first time you had your first feelings for the same gender? [00:04:00] Um, not really sure. Like, I think I I was always brought up, um, in a really open-minded family, and I never really realised that it was like a a big thing. Um, I can't remember the first time I had feelings for someone of the same same same, um, gender, I think I always found female people attractive as well as male people. And the first time [00:04:30] I kissed a girl was when I was nine, and it was, um, in front of my class because, um, they kept teasing us, me and my best friends and calling us. They called us Lizzie and all this, um, because we were really close and we would hold hands and kiss on the cheek and things like that. So they did us to French to kiss in front of the whole class. Um, and we didn't see anything wrong with it, so we did. But we got teased a bit up. So you never really denied your sexuality, didn't you? No. No. It was all [00:05:00] very open to the community. And I think I'm lucky for that. Because I know it's not like that for a lot of people. Um, but yeah, um, it was good for me. I was happy and proud to be who I was. So, um, you came out at the age of, um, 14 or 15. That's bisexual. Yeah. Uh, how do you come out or Who do you come out to first? [00:05:30] First happened to me because I joined the Quest Strait Alliance group at my school called Nags at Nail College. And, um, I went along to that with a few friends who identified as bisexual, but I wasn't out. Then we just kind of went along to see how it was. And then we stayed part of that group, and we got a chance to go to, um, an SS for Q, which is safety in schools for queer, um, which is really exciting. So we went along to that. And then on the first [00:06:00] night, um, these people came up to me, My friend as we were, like, getting out met. She says, go to bed. Um, and they just sit down and they're like, So what are you Are you gay or bi or what? And it was like, the first time, I'd really, like been asked that. And so I kind of said, Oh, I think I'm bisexual. And I think that was the first time I said it out loud. We're of the moment. Yes, but then when I got home, my mom said to me, So are you the only straight person there. Um, because I was part of the Queer Straight Alliance. And, you know, she didn't know otherwise, I guess. Um and so I said, [00:06:30] um, no, actually, I think I might be bisexual. Um, and then she said, Oh, no, you can't possibly know that you're way too young. Um, which was a bit disappointing because she had always been really open minded, and I didn't think she would kind of say that to me, But, um, once she realised it was like who I was. And it was a thing where she's been really great and supportive. So she's quite supportive now. Oh, yes, yeah, definitely. She's part of the P flag. [00:07:00] Yeah, in a way. Yeah. She's very supportive of Queer Rights and my sister's also open a So she's got two of us to Is there actually a AP flag group in New Zealand? Um, there's like a strong P. A group in Dunedin might be in other parts of the country, too. But as far as I know, there's not one in Wellington or in Nelson to go my mom space. So your [00:07:30] first LGBTI Q group was in Nelson. Yeah, So that was at at my school. And I was really, really lucky to, um, have a QS a there, which is part of the reason I'm so passionate about, um, getting Q SAS in schools all over the country. Um, and then, um, me and, um, some other people at the group were kind of like, Well, this is awesome. But our school has this group. But why doesn't nelson have, um, you know, what about all the other people? Not just at our school. And so we set up Q Youth, which is the community [00:08:00] group at Nelson. We set that up in 2009, and let's go real strong now into the drop in centre, and it's really awesome. Did you facilitate that? Um, I was one of the people who started that. And then I was, um, yeah, a facilitated volunteer. And then I was co-chair of the board with Marion Street. And then I was really lucky to be employed there as the drop in centre coordinator, which was still an amazing opportunity. [00:08:30] So do you know Marion Street quite well? Yes. She's like like friends. Yeah, I saw that you visited her. Yes, this morning I saw your likes. Like like, Yeah, so you kind of had a bit of a support system, didn't you? Um, yes. Yeah, It was great. Um, yeah. I was really lucky to, you know, have other friends who were out, um, to have that group at my school and then to be able [00:09:00] to, um, be proud of that and then go and make more changes in my community. Have a protection system as well. Yeah, um, I think because of because of my family being supportive and the group already existing in my school, um, it wasn't really hard for me to come out and be clear and that that's it. So I don't really need that support system, but that might be because everyone was already supportive for [00:09:30] me. Generally, Um, there was still some homophobia at school. I got a pair thrown at me, and I used to get called the gay emo and things like that. Yes. Um, you always have the colourful hair. Yes, I like the colourful hair. Um, so yeah. I mean, nothing's ever perfect, but I was really lucky. So have you been in a relationship before? Yes. How many. Oh, a few. A few. A few. [00:10:00] Um, I'm not gonna count them right now. Um, Thursday, Um, in a relationship with that girl. And we've been out for two years and almost two months. Two months? Yes. That's nice. That's a good relationship. You're practically married. And so, um, you would you like to tell us the experience of, uh, any of your relationships? [00:10:30] What kind of like, um, what was the relationship like, um, why did you break up or anything like that on any other relationship or current relationship? It's up to you. I think it's something interesting to talk about is kind of when you don't, um, fit on the gay straight kind of ends of the spectrum. Like when you are somewhere in the middle as bisexual [00:11:00] or pansexual. Um, whatever you are, um, it can be a bit more complicated, like, especially when you're younger. And if you're dating people of both genders or any gender, it can be quite confusing. Like when I would go out with a guy I'd sometimes think. Oh, am I am. I actually straight, you know, like, am I picking this up like, what is this? Um and the same then when I'd [00:11:30] be with a girl, and it's quite yeah, it can be quite confusing, but, um, now I can understand that, Yes, I am attracted to people with different genders. That's good. It's OK. Yeah. Um, So, um, how do you meet other people in the LGBTI Q community? Um, I think going along to, um, queer groups. So, um, [00:12:00] that's a bit obvious. I know. I think can be one of the best places to meet other people. And then you get to meet often people from different parts of the country as well, Less broad. How do you meet other people in a social situation? Not in a youth working work situation. Two friends, um, Facebook. [00:12:30] Yeah. Um, I guess a lot of my friends are in that kind of, um, youth work. That's how I have met them for me, But and then through them, I will meet other queer people. Um, I've noticed you've always almost always in work mode when it comes to stuff. How do you ever go into, like, personal tappy mode? [00:13:00] Um, I guess I'm quite a a calm person in a way so I can manage to, like, be working and be really stressed. But be really calm. Um, I don't know if that's got to do with what you're asking. Um, think for me just being able to, like, go home and chill out and just go on the Internet or watch movies or TV shows or whatever and hang out with my girlfriend or think just getting away from work and forgetting about it and distracting [00:13:30] myself is a really good way for me. The calm period. So what is your definition or your personal opinion in virginity? I think it's different for everyone, and it's up to you what it is. How about for yourself? Um, again, I think when you're like somewhere along the middle of the spectrum, it can be hard if you have sex [00:14:00] with both male and female people and then you're like So I guess, in a way I lost both my male and female virginity. It's quite hard to define virginity. Um, yeah, I think it's It's about a consenting sexual. Expect you, you know, I. I think it's a really a personal thing, and it's what it is. So have you experienced or received any abuse or abusive [00:14:30] behaviour because of your gender identity, your expression identity or your sexuality? Not really. Yeah, just like I already mentioned a little bit at school. So they kind of Yeah, get some homophobic language and things like that. Um, I guess for me it will come more in the form of things like heteros. [00:15:00] A few are clear kind of thin. Um, woman, it can feel really invisible at times your identity. Unless you were kind of marching down the street holding your girlfriend's hand or wearing a rainbow flag and just, you know, people assuming that you're straight really annoy me, and then I get people like my my nanny, she [00:15:30] ring up and she'd always ask if I had a boyfriend. But she knew how I identified. And one point she knew already that I had a girlfriend as well. And I said, No, I've still got my girlfriend. She'd be like, Oh, but do you have a boyfriend? I was like, Oh, no, you know, just listen and accept that part of me. But, um, they get more, more subtle things than anything extreme. Have you? Do you have a fear of peers Now, after that? Um, [00:16:00] no, I don't think I've ever like, um, the funny thing about that story was that the person who threw it at me then turned out, like later I found out that it was someone who became one of my best friend's younger brothers, and he actually ended up apologising to me for it. Um, so that was Yeah. It was quite a hilarious story in the end, but still, the fact that it happened in the first place. Good. So, uh, thank you for the interview. That's all right.
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