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Hello. How are you today? Wonderful. Thank you. And yourself. Fantastic. Oh, Who are you? Who am I? That's a good question. My name's Mike. Uh, I'm not sure how much you want to know about who I am. I'm a Wellington queer. Wellington Wellington, Queer. How's that? Is that who I am? OK, tell us about your personal, My personality. Oh, lady. Um, I'm Oh, gosh. [00:00:30] How do I do this without sounding arrogant? I'm do it anyway. Do it anyway. I'm fantastic. That's what I am. Um, I'm really easy going. I would. Well, you you'll know all about. It's all over the internet. Um, I'm, um I'm I'm quite friendly. I'm very open. Uh, I'm maternal. That's Yeah. That's how I am. Yeah. So, uh, a little bit about yourself a little bit more [00:01:00] about yourself. A little bit more about myself. I am a drag queen by the name of Mama Desire. Uh, I help facilitate a youth group called Schools Out, which is Wellington based, and I'm very proud of it. It's very great. I work at McDonald's, so I'm not gonna tell you which one, because you'll ask for discount. Big Mac. Um, I have a very large DVD collection. I don't know. [00:01:30] Um, you thought I was gonna say something else. Then didn't you DVD collection? No, no, I did not think of that. Yeah. Yeah. Likes and hobbies, likes and hobbies. Uh, DVD collecting. I currently have 380. Um, drag. Uh, I read quite a lot. Um, I am quite fond of, I don't know, males. [00:02:00] Males. I like I like a bit of boy. Well, you know, maybe not. Boy gracious the movie. I do like that movie. That is a good film. Um, you do like boy, you do like boy. Yeah. Yeah. Um, other likes and hobbies. I don't know. I have lots. I like musical theatre. That's something I really like. Yeah. So, um, what is your original sex? My original [00:02:30] sex. I was born male, born male. What is your gender identity? Um, male. But if I'm a drag, then I'm a female. But generally I'm a male. You have a Penis. You like? Show it off. Um, no, no. I like to keep a Penis to myself, but, um, I'm very selfish. Yeah, yeah. Um, where was that? Um, what is your sexuality? my sexuality. I'm a gay man. [00:03:00] A gay man. Gay man. And what is your culture? Identity Culture. Identity is pasty white boy. A culture identity. OK, yeah. Um, no, I I'm Yeah, that's my culture. New Zealand, I guess. And, um, how do you express yourself a masculine feminine in between? Uh, bear twink I I've always [00:03:30] thought that I'm sort of like, uh I don't really fit anywhere, which I quite like because I'm I'm a I'm a bigger guy. So I'm not fit enough to be a twin. Oh, you've got a phone call. How exciting. Ok, and just in case my interview was really boring just in case, just in case I fell asleep because not not during the interview, But, um, yeah, I I'm I'm too big to be a twin, but I'm not hairy enough to be a bear. I don't know. I'm just my own No, [00:04:00] I'm not a cub. I'm not hairy enough to be a cub. I'm I'm the way I dress is fairly is not feminine, not particularly feminine. But the way I act is Yeah, and it depends on how I feel On any given day. Some days I'll be more masculine. Some days I'll be more feminine. Yeah. So, um, when did you realise that you were gay? When did I realise that I was gay, like, officially? Or when was your first moment where you had an attraction [00:04:30] to another boy or my first? Your your very first. Like, noticeable. Well, looking back on it, um, my first noticeable thing was, uh, when I saw the Disney film Aladdin, uh, I develop developed a huge crush on Aladdin, The the main character, even though he's a cartoon and that crush has still remained to this day, Uh, here is my He's my boyfriend. It's it's it's totally normal. Um, and I remember [00:05:00] that I had quite a quite a thing for a Ladin without without actually realising that it was a crush. You like? You like what he does and that strike the lamp. Sorry. Sorry. I couldn't help myself. I had to put that joke in there. Yeah, um I'm not entirely sure how to go on from that. Continue. Continue. Um, yeah. I also remember being about about five. [00:05:30] I, uh I'm just guessing that with the ages here, but I know I was very young. I had quite a close friend who lived down the street from me and him. And I would quite often play doctors. Yeah, and I. I remember that I was far more into that game than he was. For some reason, Um, he'd much rather play with Batman toys. But as much as I like Batman toys, Um, yeah. So I guess that was like those two sort of things for the first. Yeah. [00:06:00] Played doctors, doctors. What sort of things? Um, we would go into his mother's closet. I don't know why I wouldn't go into his closet, but his mother's closet and we would we would kiss and we would cuddle. And we would, uh, inspect each other's bodies. Yeah, so that's what they call doctors. Well, that's what I don't I don't even know if that's what we call called it, but it's sort of like a name. I've given it in my head. I was like, Oh, God, [00:06:30] like doctors expecting each other's body. So you kind of known from a very young age. I didn't know at that stage I What happened was when I was that age, I thought it was totally normal for guys to like guys. Um And it wasn't until I got, you know, a little bit older when I realised that boys were supposed to like girls. That is how it's supposed to be. And I you know, I always just thought girls were kind of strange. I never really knew where they fit into the picture. Um, yeah. So then when I was six, I was like, Oh, OK, [00:07:00] ok, then. So I sort of managed to, uh I don't know, II. I sort of figured if if liking girls was the natural thing to do, then that was something I had to do. Yeah, And it was I don't remember making a conscious decision because I was obviously very young. But I guess it was kind of like your denial period. I guess so. Like my subconscious. I don't know. Um, the first time I realised that I liked boys like, I sort of had an epiphany that I did like [00:07:30] boys and always had liked boys, and I just sort of ignored it. I was 11, and, um, I came out as bisexual because I thought it would be the easier thing to do, and I came out to a couple of my friends as bisexual. I came out to a group of about five when I was 11, which is quite young. My eldest nephew is 11 in November in November. And it's just it's just so young to me, OK? And you're just like thinking he was like, Yeah, he's a bisexual boy. A boy. [00:08:00] Oh, no. Um but no, I don't think that at all. No, I hope not. I don't. OK, moving on. Um And then when I was 16, I came out as gay. I sort of had. I remember the moment I was in the shower and I had an epiphany, and I was like, Oh, I actually am gay. Oh, that makes it easier. Oh, OK, then. And then I came out a couple of days later, as as gay to pretty much everyone in my school. Yeah. Yeah. So did [00:08:30] I knock out a couple of questions there? No, You just You just made it kind of clear how you did it. Very detailed. So I like that a lot. Obviously, a lot of this is in retrospect. Yeah, yeah. Um So what? When did you come out? again as bisexual. I came out when I was 11, which was 10 years ago. That's how old I am. And, um, as gay, I was 16. Yeah. So, um, did [00:09:00] you ever attended LGBTI Group A group? This is my interview, not the Swedish chef. This is not the Muppets. Um, shut up. My interview all about me my time. Um, what was the question [00:09:30] you attended a BT IQ group? Um, when I came out at 16, I was a couple of months later. I was like, I know no gay people. This is really upsetting because I lived in, uh, pram I grew up in which is an hour, an hour's drive away from the city. 40 40 minutes drive to an hour. Um and yeah, I knew no gay people. I knew a couple of black people, but not gay people. And I sort of wanted to know people, and I wanted to make new friends, make new friends. [00:10:00] And this was, of course, back in the days of good old Yeah, good old Bebo. Fond memories on that thing. Um, and I sort of looked up queer groups and, um, on Google, and it came up with the school. The school is out, and I clicked on it and I thought, Oh, yeah, This is pretty cool. So I sort of posted a posted a message, being like, Hi, I'm a I'm a gay kid. I'm new to this. I want to go. I don't know anybody. I was sort of like I don't I. I want [00:10:30] to come to this group, but I don't know where it is. I don't know how to get there. So I had someone. Someone met up with me, took me to the group. So I attended the group from when I was 16, and obviously then I became a facilitator, So I'm still involved with the group. Um, what days are the groups? Um, if you want information on the skills out group, you can go on the Facebook page. Skills out. I don't want to give details. We have a thing that we don't give out details Unless [00:11:00] it's not. Yeah, or you can text 0277639793. Once again. That's 0277639793 Coming up after the break. Those with a lot of results for today. Coming after the break we've got We've got queens to funny, but first we have Lady Gaga. This is the edge. No. Um Oh, good. No, I remember back in the days on the radio. Anyway, this [00:11:30] is an interview about you. So have you ever been in a relationship before? Have I been in a relationship before? I have with boys and girls. How many relationships have you had with boys with boys? Ok, OK, first with boys, always with boys first 44. Is that including flings? No. How many proper relationships? How many flings Have you been outside of relationship or to find a fling fling? Probably like a mini relationship that only [00:12:00] lasted less than a month or less than two weeks. Does it count? If it's one of your exes again, Does that count as a does that count as a separate thing? Or should I count it with boyfriends? No, I think that's kind of like a I think, Yeah, I think that just stays with the whole one relationship because you're going on and off kind of thing. That that that stays with one relationship. OK, so mhm. Maybe 21. I remember [00:12:30] I was talking with someone the other day where we were defining what flings are. And it was like Obviously, a one night stand is for one night. A week would be like a quick fuck gracious. I didn't realise we could use such a language in this. Yes. And, um And And I guess I guess over a week to a month is a fling. Then I would say, yeah, 1 to 2 flings 1 to 2 flings, one fling, [00:13:00] one quick Fuck. No, no, I'm not. My friends know me as a bit of a prude. I don't do I don't really do, uh, six or anything like that outside of a relationship. I'm quite Yeah, Yeah, he's a good boy. Thank you. Yes, my mother raised me well or something. So, um, how about for, like, how many girl relationships have you had? Girl relationships? Well, it's a different story. 103. No. Um God, you sound like Robina. Thank [00:13:30] you. Good. That's what I was aiming for. I've never met Rabia. Um I would say maybe 34. So during those times, you know, dating a girl, you don't really realise that you were gay, weren't you? Yeah. Uh, well, I realised I was by when I was dating these girls. Or, you know, I realised I like guys. And I was saying I was by, um yeah, so I didn't realise I was completely gay. It was all of the girls that I dated. All of them are still [00:14:00] really good friends of mine. Um, so it was just like having a really good like it turn out that just turned out like that. My first relationship actually, uh, lasted for three years with a girl called Christine. Yeah, she's still a really good friend of mine. And, you know, in gay years that you're actually married. Yeah, pretty much. Um, and gay years. We've retired by now, retired together in Florida. Um, yeah, her and I were together for three years and [00:14:30] sort of we broke up when I was about Oh, I can't even remember. But a couple of years after I came out as gay or sort of a year after I came out as gay or something and, uh, she came out as lesbian, and then she was in a huge relationship with a girl and then they broke up. And then she went back to bisexual. And then she had a kid, and it was just quite funny. There was an ongoing joke for a while that we turned each other queer, which I quite liked. Not true, of course, but I liked it. It's funny. It's quite funny. Yeah. So, um, how do you meet other people in the community? [00:15:00] How do I meet other people in the community? I suppose I'm quite lucky in the sense that I'm really outgoing. And I find it really easy to talk to people. And I really like talking to different people. So I find drag. Actually, for me, it's the opposite way around and drag. I get a lot more reserved and I don't talk to as many people. I don't I know why that is. Yeah, I think it's just, you know, you sort of do different personalities, and you can tend to do the opposite of what you are. And so, Mama desire [00:15:30] is quite quiet and reserved. It's like, Hi desire. Fuck off. No, I think not. Rude. I'm kidding. Um, yeah, I know. Um, yeah. So I'm you know, I'm I'm also fairly approachable, and that's how I meet people. I just sort of go out and I'll go to. I'll go to a bar or I'll go to wherever and I'll just sort of When I go to a place like that, I'll quite often look around and see someone new and decide. I'll sit down and talk to this new person and just [00:16:00] try and make a new friend. So, um, going back to relationships? Can you give us a, um, an experience of one of your relationships of what happened or something like that? I do feel awfully vague. Could you like, I don't know, make it a bit more specific, you know? Like, how was the relationship? Like one of the relationships? How was that relationship for you? And like did Were you always [00:16:30] happy and stuff like that? And how did you break up, or how did you meet them or something like that? Do you want, like, specific relationships or an overview or one relationship? One kind of thing? Uh, talk about my favourite. My favourite ex. Um, who I'm still fantastic friends with. He lives up in Auckland, and I, um I'm still in contact with him Heaps, and he comes down to Wellington every so often, and he's just a really good friend. Still, um, we dated for three months, and [00:17:00] it was just a lot of fun throughout. Throughout the relationship, it was lots of fun. It was really nice. Um, and when it ended, it was just sort of we decided mutually that. You know, it wasn't quite right being in a relationship. Um, and it was just a really positive experience. We had lots of fun while we were together. We broke up really positively. We're still really good friends, you know, and him and I are still really flirty towards each other when we see each other. And, you know, we're still quite touchy. Fairly. And it's just [00:17:30] that's that's my favourite story. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, what is your definition of virginity? My definition of virginity, your personal definition or your opinion? Either way or your opinion of the definition. I think that to an extent, virginity is defined by you. Like if you say, for instance, a person was, uh their [00:18:00] first experience was they were raped. Say, um, I and they still afterwards because it wasn't you know it wasn't right. They didn't want to. If afterwards they still felt like a virgin. Then I would say that they are still a virgin, if that makes sense, Um, I think that a virgin is virginity is whatever you I know. If you feel yeah, if that makes sense, I think to an extent, it's what you who? You define it as yourself. Um [00:18:30] And what about for you? For me? How do you define it? I define it as having penetrative sex. So or not even no, not even penetrative sex. I don't know. That's such a hard question. I feel like it's different for everyone and for me. Um, I had sex with a guy like it was there was penetrative sex. It was mutual. It was [00:19:00] It was consensual. It was fun. And for me, that was losing my virginity, you know, Um, but for other people, it may be completely different because obviously, uh, like for different people have different ways of having sex. So there may be some gay guys who don't like having anal sex who don't like penetrative sex, so they would have another definition of being of having sex or like lesbians who don't, you know, have penises or anything. They have another definition of having sex. [00:19:30] So it's I think that definitions of virginity is all very personal. Hm. Yeah. So what is your, um Have you ever experienced or received any abuse or abusive behaviour because of your gender identity? You being a drag queen or because of your sexuality? Only from you, you dick. Fuck you. I've had I have had a fair amount of abuse. Um, strangely enough, I had more abuse [00:20:00] for being gay before I came out. Uh, at high school, I got a lot of bullying for being queer. Um, which never really bothered me too much. I've always had I've always had bullying all my life, and it's one of those people that can laugh it off. It's not that bullying has never really affected me that much. And I'm I'm so lucky because of that that I just find people who bully. If people are trying to bully me, I just find it funny, to be honest, because it's just so tragic. Um, it's like, Fuck you. [00:20:30] Yeah, Yeah, it's like, Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. But before I came out, The queer bullying was more hurtful because, you know, it was obviously a secret. I was trying to hide hide from people. It was a secret to some extent, that I was trying to hide from myself. So I feel like, um, it hurt a lot more before I came out. But after I came out, I was able to laugh it off and people were like, Oh, you thought you're a fucking home and I'll be like, Yeah, I am one number, you know, And I Yeah, [00:21:00] yeah, you'd be able to You'd be able to turn the tables, um, for being a drag queen. I've had a bit of abuse, but most of the abuse for being a drag queen comes from within the gay community. There are so many gay people that don't like drag queens, which is crazy. I I feel like this is completely generalising, obviously, and I don't mean any offence or anything, but quite often the gay gay community, I feel [00:21:30] because they quite often like shit, gets heaped upon them, you know, and they get a lot of bullying themselves, and I feel that quite often it's like you know there's a hierarchy or they they think there's a hierarchy and they sort of want to be above someone. If that makes, I don't even know if that makes sense, and I don't even know if that's how I feel. I guess that's what's coming out of my mouth. I guess in a way, um, the gay community have been like fighting for rights and being respected for who we are [00:22:00] and stuff like that, like in 1980 scheme law reform 1993 being passed that no one can actually fire us because of our sexuality, fighting for civil unions and stuff like that. And there was that window period where we weren't fighting for everything, anything because we had what we want. And I guess the only thing that we were fighting was against each other until finally we've actually fighting for for our right to get married. And we've finally actually become, [00:22:30] um, together again as a community to have that fight quite often. Um, I mean, it's the same with with transgender people. They also get a lot of shit from the gay community, and people quite often tend to lump drag queens and transgender people together. They're like, Oh, drag queens and train When, Of course, it's two completely different thing. You know, being a drag queen is you do it to perform. You do it for fun. It was being transgendered. As you know, it's It's who you are. Inside, [00:23:00] it's It's much deeper than being a drag queen. Being a drag queen is just kind of fun. And it's a way of expressing yourself. Transgender, transgender. It's a lot more serious. Um, yeah, it's It's a lot. I don't know. It's like gender identity. Yeah. Yeah, Exactly. Yeah. Well, thank you for the interview. Oh, that's all right. Is it over? Oh! Oh, that was so quick. That's what he said. Um, OK, thank you. [00:23:30] You're welcome. Bye.
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