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Lou - Q12 [AI Text]

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Hello. How are you today? I'm smashing, darling. How are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm smashing, darling. I'm smashing as well. It's like smashing Punkin. Smashing, Smashing darling. Smashing chick bongs. I'm really in dollars shaken, not stirred. OK, um, can you tell us a little bit about yourself? I'm Lou. I'm 22. Um, Lou, 22. I like to rhyme if I have the time. Um, I'm Yeah, I'm 22. [00:00:30] I have piercings. Um, I'm queer of some variety. Um I like stuff and rats. I like rats, Right. I like rats. Do you have a rat tail? I want a rattail. I did have a rattail. I had eight rats at one point. They're not the crazy cat lady. No, I'm the crazy rat lady. I am the crazy rat lady. So you're like eating rata toy. Oh, yeah? Yeah. How many piercings do you [00:01:00] have? Um, 99123456. 123456789. Don't show me that one. Um, so you're 22. You are. Um What's your name? Um, What is your sex? Um, I am a female [00:01:30] female, You know, you you know, the whole line between sis and da da da. So your gender identity is female? Yeah. Yeah, I'm gender queer or gender. Fuck. Can I say gender? Fuck, I'm saying gender. Fuck. You're saying gender. Fuck. Damn right. Yes. And what is your sexuality? Um, demisexual Pan Romantic. We're going all technical here, but as you can see here in the textbook, [00:02:00] you can you know what this is about? Can you actually explain that for some of the people who have any ideas who pan romantic is kind of like pansexual in that I can feel romantic towards males, females, intersex, transgender, the whole the whole spectrum of of people. Um, but when it comes to the actual sex [00:02:30] itself, uh, I don't have that. I don't have that feeling. Um, it takes a lot of actual getting to know a person and having that connection before I could open myself up to sexual activity. That is quite descriptive. Thank you. So, um, when did you first realise? Yes, Lincoln Park is probably in the background. Um, when [00:03:00] did you first realise that you were attracted to Well, can I say, attracted to the same gender? Well, I feel attraction. Just not sexual attraction. Um Oh, OK, uh, when I was 13, um, in my music theory class, we had a new kid, and I thought he was delicious. We we got along like a house on fire. And, um, it wasn't [00:03:30] until we were in the same changing room that I actually realised that he was a He was a chick, um, which was very awkward for me because I was brought up super Catholic, and all of that stuff was very much frowned upon. You know, pray the gay away. Um, but I was really surprised to realise that I didn't actually care that he was a she I just liked, liked him for who he was. And he actually prefers male gender pronouns, I think. Anyway, um, [00:04:00] was he actually, um, so he was into six or no, he was female, but he was very Andy, so he kind of So he was a female, but he would prefer, um, being called a male. Well, not that not at that point in time. Um, it's just been since we both left high school, and he, you know, got all of his fan girls in Wellington that it really? Um I don't think he actually cares. And I really like [00:04:30] that I. I mean, he's, like, a real inspiration to me because I wish I could care that little about about my own gender, because, I mean, I still question it sometimes was like, you know, who is it that does, man, I feel like a woman should IT Yes. You know, the whole, like men's shirts, short skirts, top hats and shit, The whole feminine but [00:05:00] semi looking, quite acting masculine, like Yeah. Yeah, that's that's very attractive to me. Um, pride? Absolutely. Um, I really do go for the for people that kind of cross those boundaries. Um, like, it wasn't wonderful [00:05:30] photos of big kind of mountain men looking dudes with the shaggy hair and the big beards and the septum, piercings and stuff in, um, beautiful lacy dresses. And I thought, Wow, that is beautiful. That is fantastic. You're really attracted to masculine people, aren't you? Not necessarily masculine people. Um I like my guys fem I like I like fem guys and masculine girls. [00:06:00] Yeah, and masculine girls, but not not too masculine. I mean, like, you don't want them to grow a beard, or they can if they like. I mean, you know, if they want to. I mean, I plan on, um, drawing on a different moustache every day for November to raise money for whatever November's for, mainly because I want to wear a prostate cancer. Prostate cancer, mainly. Just because I want to wear a different moustache every day just to, you know, [00:06:30] be a bit of a gender fuck. Really? Um, like, um, Alan Page has that kind of aspect to her that I like. I mean, yeah. Yes. So going back to the question. So you realised when you were 13, when you when I was 13, [00:07:00] and I got a crush on a guy that was actually a girl. So, um, from you know, yeah dot Whenever we were playing dress up, I wanted to. I wanted to be the prince. Yeah, princesses are boring, and they just sit in their towers twiddling their hair, whereas princes are handsome and they get to go out and slay dragons and get all the chicks and do stuff and have fun thrown away. You kind of always known, but not always like self consciously. You did, But you didn't. Yeah. So, um, [00:07:30] when you how did you feel At the time where you actually came to terms like, Oh, my God. I'm starting to have feelings for this for the same gender, but at the same time, I just feelings to, um, males as well. Um oh, I was Oh, I was surprised. And I was I was a little bit ashamed in the beginning because that's [00:08:00] how I'd been raised. It wasn't the kind of thing that you did it like. Hm. This is new. Yeah. This is This is this is new. This is this is interesting. This is something I really need to look into. Because if it's a if it's a bad thing, I want to stop it. And if it's a good thing, then I want to, you know, explore it. Um, but I just noticed that you got your nails done. Yes, I'm a zebra. Is that I thought it was like Katy Perry. Oh, OK. Well, maybe that too. Or Katy Perry. Nail polish. [00:08:30] Shitty, dodgy Asian shop white with black cracking stuff on it. Yeah, I like it, though. Um, but yeah, it was a bit awkward. because there was a beautiful gay boy a few years older than me at school. Um, that went to our church and he was obviously very gay. He took he he wore glitter and took a boy to the ball and stuff, but he wasn't shy about it. But I mentioned I mentioned [00:09:00] to my mum that David was gay and Mum was like, Oh, no, he's not. He can't be. I was like, Well, yes, he's not, You know, he's pretty fabulous and he's out there and stuff and oh, no, no, he's not gay. He can't be gay And I'm like, Yeah, he can, you know, he texted me the other day saying, I'm in Wellington loving it. There's so many cute boys. Paul, Louise, he he did that for your sake. He said there were cute boys. For your sake. Um, how many self-respecting straight guys text anyone saying OMG There's so many [00:09:30] cute boys here. Uh, and she's Oh, no, no, he couldn't. He couldn't be gay because he goes to our church and we wouldn't give him communion if he was gay. And it's like, Well, that's a reflection on your fucking church. It's nothing to do with his sexuality. So, yeah, After that conversation, I was just like, Ah, maybe we'll just keep that quiet. Yeah, We'll just keep that quiet for a while. So have you actually come out to your parents now? Kind of. [00:10:00] Actually, it was earlier this year because, uh, my mom thinks that everything I do I do with the intention of shocking her. How lovely. Yeah. So she's deliberately not shocked. She you know, she she doesn't want to give me the satisfaction of of reacting how she thinks I want her to react. She's quite good because I don't actually care. Um, it's like, um Mum, I'm gay. I'm not shocked. No, [00:10:30] that's that's That's fine. That's how it is. Yes. No. Um, but yeah. I mean, I dated a trans guy for a while. Um, and I told him he was a trans guy, and we both went to girls high back in the day. And Mum's just like, Oh, OK, that's that's fine. Whatever. I'm not shocked. But then, I mean, after what, half a year of helping to do the, uh, Taranaki LGBT Q thing. [00:11:00] Mum was somewhere else, and I was talking to her about LGBT. And she's like, So which one are you? Yeah, which which letter are you? Are you the L or are you the T or I'm the B? Because, well, there's no There's no category for demisexual Pan Romantic. So I was like, I'm I'm by that all that and she's like, Oh, OK. Well, actually, well, when you think about LGBT is not actually a common thrace anymore, we actually prefer to use LGBTI [00:11:30] Q, which is lesbian, intersex and queer, which I guess when you say queer, that kind of covers everything in a way, even though not a lot of people like to use that. But still, I still I think the science get used to that. Yeah. Yeah, and it's good. It's nice to, um remember all of our list mentioned. Yeah, because if we if we [00:12:00] had a big word, we'll be eventually naming every fucking letter of the alphabet and double ups and there'd be stars and, you know, like, Trans Star. And not just that. It would be like G BT IQLMFOM OPW T, FA OBBQ helicopter ruffle, ruffle [00:12:30] iron, et cetera. So, um, you've come out to your parents kind of in a way, yeah. Um, as far as I can tell, they're probably aware of it by now. Because I told my mom that I was coming here. And, um, something about how interesting Conta is. Gender speculum, speculum, spectrum, nothing [00:13:00] to do with speculums. Nothing. Um, and Mum said something about how old? Well, there's only a couple of genders and only a couple of sexualities. So you know, chances are there are going to be double ups. And I'm like Mum, there are heaps, you know, like both gender and sexuality and gender identity. And everything in between is is a spectrum. And Mum's like, Oh, Louise, I think you're on quite a few spectrums. [00:13:30] I'm like, Thanks, Mom, because, yeah, I, I think she's trying to understand. Well, I have. I have some variety of mild autism, which is a spectrum as well, so she's like, Oh, Louise, you and your spectrums. And that's what's just some There's theory, saying that, um, people are arrogant because they're uneducated. However, there are some people who are open minded and [00:14:00] arrogant because they're willing to learn, but no one's actually been telling them or, and there's close minded arrogant where you should just probably stay away from them. Yeah, Yeah. Um, I'm pretty sure if and when I do get a girlfriend or a long term, some kind of variety of gendered partner, Uh, my parents are just gonna shake [00:14:30] their heads and go, you know, But at the same time, I'm not shocked. No, no, not shocked. A little disappointed, but I'm not shocked. I'm not shocked. No, I always knew you'd do something like this to us. Louise always knew you'd be the one that did something to us like this. Always having to push those boundaries. Yes. Everything I do, I do to influence you. Nothing to do with anything about how I think [00:15:00] or feel. It's all about getting back at you because I'm some rebellious teenager, silly people. OK, when did you come out of the closet? Um, I don't think I was actually ever in there like the imaginary The imaginary Closet of wonder with unicorns. If you're so deep in there that you can see Narnia. Yeah, yeah, I mean, occasionally, I find I still [00:15:30] find myself finding Christmas presents. It's Yeah, sometimes, like, you know, with my grandmother and things It's like, you know, I grow my hair and dye it brown or blonde and, you know, put on nice clothes and Oh, hello, Louise. Have you got a boyfriend? Oh, not yet, Nana. But, you know, I'm sure I'll find a nice boy and give you lots of great grandkids. [00:16:00] Oh, that's nice, dear, but yeah, it's quite funny, because that's what my grandparents say to me now. Hello, Ben. Have you got a nice boyfriend? Oh, that's good. Oh, yeah. Yeah, for me. It took a while. Yeah. Um, I don't I don't know if I ever did, like, come out of the closet, because I only really thought I had, [00:16:30] like, 1 ft in there with the rainbow sock on, obviously the rainbow sock in the closet. You know, that's what they should do for like, um, an artistic photography thing. They should get a closet. One person that is like rainbow leg in the closet. That's all happy. And like the other half of them is out of the closet. It's all black and white, like business suit with, like, one pants leg rolled up with a with a sock and a sock. [00:17:00] A brown sock brown sock and a business shoe and a rainbow sock and a ruby slipper. Ruby slipper? Yeah, a friend of Dorothy's. Man, I think it should be like a team, like a like a 17 year old team. One is in, like, um, uniform. Because that that's a good idea. Yeah, that's it. I wonder if we could make, like, a half, Um, schoolboy Short, half skirt kind of deal. [00:17:30] That's stereotypical. I suppose it is. Probably like skinny jeans. Yes. Skinny jeans, skinny jeans, skinny jeans. Um, back to what we were. Don't you sidetrack me. You derailed my train of thought, so I only have a one track mind. So you work with, um You kind of work with wave, don't you? In a way, um, yeah, well, I don't. I work with them. I don't work for them. I, um you're a volunteer of facilitation, but unofficial [00:18:00] either. I'm an official volunteer facilitator. Yeah, um, you do more work than the facilitators themselves. I do. Um the Yeah, um it's a really good thing, and I'm so I'm so glad that waves has actually allowed us to do it because we are overdue for for some kind of outlet for the queer Youth. Um, a parent. I mean, I moved here in 2007, [00:18:30] and there was always a poster in waves that said, Like, you know, Rainbow Youth kind of thing meets this Wednesday or something. And I said, Oh, wicked. So we're doing this Rainbow Youth thing on Wednesday. 00, now there's an old poster it it, You know, we haven't done it in in years and we'll bring it back sometime. And you know it will happen all the time. I'd go in there and say, Hey, you know, how's that happening? How's that happening? Where are you from, man? It's still I see the poster. Take the poster [00:19:00] down if you're not going to do the thing. So I take the poster down. And that was 2007 and this is 2012 and it took. It took Tegan. You know, she did that all herself. To which, in a way, she's great that she created the space. It was fantastic, Um, even though she's not wholehearted into it nowadays, but at least at the moment, she's not, although she is very busy because she's a performer and I love that word performer [00:19:30] as a mom. Dad, I'm a thespian. A thespian? Yeah. Mom, Dad, I'm a thespian. But no. Can you explain what a thespian a thespian is? Um, someone in the in the theatre. Like a lesbian theatre person? No, the word is thespian. Uh, mainly goes by, like I think it was kind of Shakespearean, um, attitude. And, like, plays and things. It just happens to sound a bit like [00:20:00] lesbian, so that's quite convenient. Um, but yeah, I mean, I was, I think, um, in the nineties, there was, um, there was a youth. There was a LGBT group called. I forgot what it's called it. I think it starts with S. It's it's something silly, like not completely silly, but silly. It's spit or something like that. Squirt squirt. [00:20:30] That's a good name. I think it's called. I'm not. It should be called squirt. If there isn't one, we should make one called. I'm not entirely sure, though. I think it's called Squirt or something like that. But I interviewed someone the other day and they said in the nineties they had a, um, or nineties early two thousands. They had a youth group. And, um, their group was called LGBT Squirt or something like that. But, um because that, um because there was, like, this big age bracket [00:21:00] between, like, um, all the people that went originally grew out of that and they couldn't keep it running. Because people grow out of it. You grow out of being? Well, no, not grow out. But people start having lives and away and having families of their own, I suppose. Yeah. So they couldn't, actually. Yeah. And plus, the younger ones can really hang out with a whole group of people who are, like in their forties. Yeah, I can see that [00:21:30] being interesting, though it is really good to have Kimberly in our group. Her being like, early forties. It's nice to have a an older perspective compared to, you know. Yeah. So, um, you've been in relationships before. Um, I've been in a couple of relationships before, mainly with males and mainly with, well, kind of entirely with males. Because I I consider my trans guy as a guy because, you know, so yeah, [00:22:00] fully with males, though, I. I mean, I'm not adverse to females. I just haven't found any yet that I have the right one. Yeah, I haven't. I haven't found the right one yet. Whereas I find it's easier to, um to get a boy because, you know, they're all, like, all sex. And as much as I'm not all sex it, you know, for a while, at least they [00:22:30] can. They can pretend that they're going to get laid out of this. Um, and even if you just get them to start humping your leg a little bit like yeah. Good boy. Good boy. Here, here is a pillow. There you go. Yeah, Yeah. Hump the elmo. The elbow. Yeah. Oh, like that. That ducky on Click that the dog would always hump the movie. We've had them say in the club. Um, but yeah, I mean, [00:23:00] I was All of my partners have wanted to get laid. Um, and they've booked. Sorry. And they've got rid of me when they didn't, um, which is disappointing, but well, if that's what a relationship is based on, then they're not getting a relationship with me. Um, [00:23:30] I Yeah. So I've Sometimes I get really frustrated at myself. Oh, I might tear up, but sometimes I get very frustrated at myself for not having that sex drive and that sexual nature about me, because I just I suppose this is how full on homosexual feel all the time in that. [00:24:00] Gosh, sometimes I just wish that I was like the rest and I Everything would just be so much easier for me if I if I fit it in, Um, because I mean as simple as it is to not feel sexual, it's very difficult because sex is such a big thing in every relationship. I mean, it's not the only thing in every relationship, obviously, but it definitely is [00:24:30] quite a big thing, particularly when you between the ages of about 15 and 25 because that's the you know, that's the sexual time. Yeah, that's the prime time for sowing your wild oats, and when you hit 30 you're practically dead. 30 is practically 50 which is practically dead. So I feel as though I'm kind of missing out on some amazing experiences because I'm not sexual or well, [00:25:00] I am sexual but not super sexual, because I actually have to spend a lot of time with someone and get to know them and trust them before I can open up. It just feels like it would be so much easier if I could just go. You know, you're attractive. I have sexual attraction towards you. Do you have sexual attraction towards me? Yes. Well, let us have intercourse. You know, I don't think they actually do it like that. It's more of [00:25:30] a you know. Yeah, It it's more of a Oh, you get drunk and wake up next to someone naked. But they don't do that anymore either. Yeah, well, you know what I mean, though it's more like go on grinding And like I like, Hey, you have an attractive photo. I have an attractive photo, too, and then they meet up in person. It's like you're nothing like the photo, but But you're here, so bend over. Yeah, exactly. You know. Oh, well, heck, I'll make do, um, And if if I could get, [00:26:00] like, sexual release, which I hear is so amazing, um, and I could give someone else sexual release, which I hear is so amazing. Um, it would be fantastic if myself and someone else could get together and give each other mutual sexual release. But since I don't I don't think that well, I don't feel that and I don't I can't do that. Um, it just makes me feel as though I'm missing [00:26:30] something, missing some big important thing, and it's just kind of disappointing. And sometimes I get really angry at myself for for not just biting the bullet or a pillow as it is, um and yeah, you know, and not just making myself go out and have those sexual experiences because everyone else tells [00:27:00] me about how their sexual experiences have helped them grow as a person and make new friends and associates and lovers and all of that stuff. And sometimes I do get angry at myself for not having the balls to go out and force myself into things that I wouldn't actually be comfortable in but would apparently help me grow as a person. I think that's not actually a problem that you don't want to have the I don't actually think this. I know that it's not a problem having a big high [00:27:30] sex sex drive. It's a thing that sex is not actually that important. And well, if someone can't accept that day, well, then they're not the right person. No, they're not. But and everybody is different in their own way because they were born this way. I guess I am on the right track, baby, you're born this way. Um, so it is particularly hard between the ages of about 15 and 25 to find a partner [00:28:00] that is OK with a sexless relationship. Um, because that is your your prime time for you know, all of that shit. But yeah. Given time, I guess. Yeah. So, um, you work in the community a lot, Little bit, Um, how is the community? Accept the group? Ah, they don't, [00:28:30] um, they put up with it, but yeah, they they they tolerate it because, you know, the idea is funny to them. Um, and they were like, Oh, we're a versatile community. We accept everybody, but truly, we don't We just tolerate it. Yeah. It's like, See, we allow those homos to get together in a in a quiet place, far away from us to to do their little homo business. See, we're accepting. [00:29:00] I mean, if you know, if they if they, you know, come out on the street with all of their homos, they'll get you know they'll get ridiculed and bashed. But, hey, at least we have a little separate segregated group for them to go and be their homos in diversity diversity. See, we have our we have separate special groups for those minorities to go be minorities in. What does this sound like? [00:29:30] Then They're going to have, like, gay water, gay drinking fountains and gay buses and gay toilets. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, no. Oh, dear, but yeah, they I would like to think that they're accepting, but, um I mean, [00:30:00] um, when the group first started and the idea of, you know, trying to get marriage equality legalised, which looks so exciting. Oh, we're on the verge of something Amazing. We're on the right track on the right track, baby. Hell, yeah. Um, on stuff they did a, um is it a poll? You know, what do you think of, you know, [00:30:30] gay marriage and homos in general? And there were a lot of very closed minded, very negative, very ignorant people that came out of the woodwork. Um, sadly, most of them were locals, which it's Taranaki. So I suppose they're, you know, farmers that rather buck a cow than someone with their own gender. Um, [00:31:00] but it was also good because a lot of supporters came out and said, Well, you know, I'm straight. But I have gay friends, and, um, you know, they've all moved off elsewhere now. But if they'd had a group like this when we were younger, it would have been fantastic for them kind of thing. So it does go both ways. Um, there there will always be haters, but it's good that there are also supporters [00:31:30] that out when the haters do rear their ugly heads. I think also, in a way, during the next couple of years, while while this bill is going through, it's going to be quite tough for the community. But that's when we need to stay, stick strongly together. Um, I mean, especially in locals. And um, yeah, since it's come out, I mean, I've deliberately avoided talkback radio because I don't want to hear all the bigots. I just don't or the big gets as I like to call them, Um, [00:32:00] because it's just sad, but yeah, it is gonna be very hard for for us as a as a community of Rainbow Children. Um, over the next few years, But I, I believe that we can sit together and support each other and stay strong. And even if the bill doesn't pass even if we land back in square one the next few years, we will have [00:32:30] refined and reinforced and created a strong, stable community. Something that we've actually missed for a long time. Long time, Um, and yeah. I mean, even if this bill does fall flat, it will have given us an opportunity to get out and say, you know, we're here. We're queer. Get used to it kind of thing. Um hey, homophobia's got to go. Yeah, exactly. [00:33:00] So, um so how do you meet other people in the community? Do you just meet them through, um, the group or um, or do they actually come to you? Because I've noticed that you're like you're becoming like the mother. Gay? Yeah. Um, I am a bit of a fruit fly. How do I call myself? Um oh, [00:33:30] I mean, I'm a member of a lot of Facebook groups. Uh, you know, love knows no gender and no hate. And, you know, Taranaki, LGBT, Q and LGBT Q in general. And, um NZ gender queer, which is a fantastic, fantastic community. Um, lots of laughs with other like minded and not [00:34:00] quite like gendered but different people. Um, actually to, uh, help Try to get people to come to the the meetings. I went on NZ dating, and I went like, right, you know, search Taranaki female gay, See people, you know, message them and say, Hey, there's this fantastic thing happening, You know, this is the link to the [00:34:30] Facebook profile. This is when it's happening, rock up, you know? And then I did the same for gay males and transgender. Um, and I got a bit of interest. I mean, I think only a couple actually came to the meetings, but I've been in contact with others that aren't quite either are too busy to come to the meetings or aren't quite ready to come to the meetings. But it's still nice to have someone [00:35:00] out there, you know, be in contact with people and be able to support some people. Um, and I also know people that have joined um joined LGBT Q groups under aliases, you know, completely separate profiles because they don't want. They're not ready. Well, well, they're ready. But everyone else they know isn't ready for them to be themselves quite yet. [00:35:30] And that always breaks my heart, because I've never really had that problem. So, um, what is your definition in virginity? Virginity? Uh uh. That's a good question. Um um, sticking, [00:36:00] uh, if you're a dude that's sticking your Penis in any artifice and if you're a chick, it's sticking. Uh, any other part of someone else's body into your vagina? Um Well, well, that was what I originally thought, Um, although now I'm thinking close [00:36:30] to like that's much too technical. I think virginity is one of those things. You choose whether or not you've still got it or not, because I think virginity should be classed in having like, positive mutual intercourse with someone that you love, at least at the time. [00:37:00] Um so Heck, that means that there will be some you know, 14 year old kids out there who aren't virgins by my definition. And then there will also be some people that are in their forties that are virgins by my definition, because either coerced sex or drugged sex or un you know, loveless sex isn't. Shouldn't count towards the [00:37:30] the virginity or the the the purity of the person. Cos I mean, up until that point, it's just practise runs. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, cos then you get people that have been kitty fucked at age four and you want them to be virgins. Good God, You want them to be virgins, so they should be able to choose to say no. That was nothing. That [00:38:00] wasn't That doesn't count. You know, this special moment that I am sharing myself with someone and they are sharing themselves with me is the time that I have chosen to say yes. This is when I am giving my virginity to someone. Oh, thank you for the interview. Oh, thank you. I enjoyed it. Thank you.

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AI Text:September 2023
URL:https://www.pridenz.com/ait_q12_lou.html