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Hello. How are you today? I am good. Thank you. OK, Eric, can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Um, yeah. Um, so 26 working in sort of engineering industry. Um, you can ask me about my hobbies anyway. So, um yeah, I don't know. What else do you want to do? Do you? What type of What's your personality like? Tell us a little bit about your personality. Personality. Um, [00:00:30] are we Are we going towards the whole camp thing yet? No, no, no, no. OK, sorry. I'll say I've learned. Um, very sort of dry humour. Um, ironic. Um, straight forward. Um, open, Open, Open, mostly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It can be taken as being mean, but very, very, very truthful. Blunt people blunt. Thank you. That's the word I was looking for. Very blunt. Um, spend a bit of time, um, gym outside, going [00:01:00] for runs. Used to play hockey. Not so much anymore. Um, yeah. So are you from Napier, Born and raised, Born, raised bread, everything. So what's your likes and hobbies? Um, like getting into fly fishing. It's a hobby. Reading, cooking, clean, clean, everything he doesn't do. So yeah, getting out there Basically going to the gym. Hobby, exercise. Um, getting on the river, fly fishing, [00:01:30] um, reading. Do play a little bit of Xbox and things, but yeah, Mainly more into reading and getting things done. OK, so what is your sex male and your gender identity? Male and sexuality and culture Identity. New Zealand European. And it's very fast. We should do this more in slow motion. Um, otherwise we get a quick interview. Um, and how do you express yourself? [00:02:00] This is the whole camp question. Masculine. Probably go to the masculine. Straight acting. Yeah, you're very butch. Thanks. You got the whole muscular thing, but yeah, you're more of a bear than you think. I've been trying to avoid that, but there is a Yes, I've got tattoos and I'm a little bit hairy. Please don't call me a bit. I know the beer community in Auckland. I'm very proud of being bears. [00:02:30] Of course, they're also very proud of wearing leather half the time as well. Leather free, free. Are you happy? Yes. No, they're definitely not a happy, happy hope Smokers can burn in hell. The anti smoke anti weed hippie. Yeah. Yeah, that's No, no, I'm not. I'm just, um very close to being a traditionalist without being one, so all that kind of thing doesn't really do much for me. I [00:03:00] That's the time I've ever heard before. Um, actually, yes, I have ex-boyfriend. Um, OK, where was I? Oh, yes. When did you realise I realised? Probably say early twenties or 2021. Really? Didn't you get sort of and bits and pieces, Really, But I was still somewhat going both ways. [00:03:30] Um, not not really. Sort of clicking with chicks, um, you know, finding finding guys attractive as well. Um, but it didn't click to you, but yeah, I didn't I wouldn't identify myself as gay until I sort of early twenties. Um, whether that was through denial or just not really recognising a realise thing until then. So you went for a big denial? Well, I was such denial. It kind of never really mattered [00:04:00] to me. And I never tried anything to sort of prove or disprove the idea that I was, So I just kind of sat back and I was like, Oh, yeah. And then sort of got into my 2021. Um tried And then yeah, accepted. Realised. And he had, like, kind of had thought of think about it. And you just click to you. Yes, pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so when you first, um So [00:04:30] you've been with girls before as well? Um, not all the way. No, no. Have you been in relationships? Um, been out on dates and shit, but not like having a girlfriend or anything like that. How did you feel when you went out with a girl? Awkward. Awkward? I mean, like, the whole beginning of the evening is fine. And then kind of like saying goodbye to each other at the end was very awkward. Apparently, you're not supposed to shake hands with a chick. [00:05:00] Ah, no, no, no. It didn't go down too well. It didn't go down too well anyway. No. Well done. So, um, recover and carry on. Recover and carry on. Um, OK, so how long did it take you to come out? Um, since [00:05:30] realising I was gay and coming out would be two years, 2.5 years. 2.5 years. Why did you Why was there a big window period? Um, between realising and probably fully accepting the fact. Um, also I I had come out to friends earlier, Um, a couple of my chick mates and bits and pieces that that I might just counted them straight away. Um, and then sort of like my mom. And that found out. So [00:06:00] it was It wasn't 1/4 coming out, but it wasn't really by choice. And that happened 2, 2.5 years after. How did that happen? Um, basically a friend of my boyfriend's told my mother that we were going out. Yeah, well, he was a hairdresser and couldn't shut up and needed something to talk about. So how stereotypical. He's not gay. Bisexual? Not that we're aware of. He's [00:06:30] got three kids, OK, there's a ski. Confused. Um, get used to it. Anyway, um, So how did you come out to your, um, to the first person? How did you? Um, first person was Basically I developed a crush, so to speak, or had a crush on one of her mates. So I was like, I basically text her and said, Hey, look, I really like one of your mates, and she's like, who? And I just said the guy's name, Um [00:07:00] and she just text me like what I was like, Yeah. No, no. Like. And so then it was like it took her all of, like, half an hour to accept it and move on. Um, she was, like, in shock or something. Probably to start with. I know that. The second mate, I told Jenny she fell off her chair. Um, so, yeah, there was a little bit of shock there because I am reasonably butch. Um, so no one really kind of had a clue apart from the fact that I hadn't really gone out with the chick before, so yeah, it was a bit of a shocking for them, [00:07:30] I think. Yeah, that's actually quite amusing. Someone I actually fell off the chair. Yeah, because I I text, I text her as well. I really haven't done much of this face to face, but I text her as well and said, Hey, look, I you know, I've found something I like and like, Oh, who is it? And I was like, Oh, it is a guy and yeah, she she text me back about three minutes later, saying you actually made me fall off my chair. So whether or not it happened, I don't know. But that's the story. Yeah, that that's almost unheard of. They fell off the chair [00:08:00] because they found out that their friends No, she's all happy with it, But yeah, that was That was interesting. Did they even went up to you and say, Oh, we can go shopping? No, no, None of my friends were like that with me. I didn't I didn't really, um, attract any fag hag sort of thing. And you probably were getting ready to say fuck off them anyway very quickly. Yeah. No, not not my style to have a fag hag, so to speak. So you're more of the guy that goes [00:08:30] to a pub and drinks better? No, I don't drink at all. Well, if you if you did drink, um, yes. Why not? No, I mean, it was all good. Hang out with the chick mates, but I never wanted to be labelled as or or labelling my friends as fag hag. And they never really had that attitude where they were like, Oh, you're my bestie. You know that crap? Probably because I did come out in my early twenties, and I kind of over that, but yeah. Yeah. So, um, you had both people supported you in your sexuality? Practically. Yeah, but basically everyone I told to start [00:09:00] with was, um, very accepting. Slash Supportive from the start. Yeah. So have you ever attended a LGBTI Q group? Um, last week. Yeah. The first one is last week basically is gay. So that was the first one. What was that like for you? Um interesting. Um, nerve raking to start with and then relaxing by the end of it, when you're actually surrounded by somewhat similar people. Very different. But, um [00:09:30] yeah, yeah. Un identifiable and gay. Yeah. No, we're all there. Um, yeah, I think. Always For me, it's hard to be around them, not around them. That sounds horrible. Um, but I don't well, unlike my boyfriend, who can sort of get hit on by other guys. I doesn't happen for me because I probably look more like the person who's going to turn and bash someone who hits on me or talks to me opposed as to actually talk to them. So it was quite good to be in a group where no one was afraid I was going to [00:10:00] hit them. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. So, um, obviously, you're in a relationship. Currently? Yes. He's in the back seat at the moment. Is he a backseat driver by any chance? Passenger seat driver? No, he's good. He just sits there and lets me drop. That's good. Um Anyway, um, so how many relationships with guys have you been in? One. And that's the one. That's only one. How many flings have you had that? [00:10:30] That that I'm not looking at? Um um good question. I would say 55. Yeah. Would you like to give an example of how your experience of of one or a couple such as that's up to you for what you want to give? Um, yeah. Well, the first person basically that I ever hooked up with was kind [00:11:00] of more like accident. Um, and sort of like, Oh, you want to come and hang out? So you come and hang out at my house, and then he's like, I can't go home because my parents yada yada yada. He was old enough. Thank you. Um and so he ended up sleeping the night and things happen um and that was kind of like the first one, which was kind of awkward in that. And then, yeah, the rest have been basically meeting off like the likes of NZD and that type of thing. [00:11:30] And they were just general hook ups. I guess the first one was probably like there was hints. Probably wasn't it when you not first one. The person you just mentioned that Yeah, I gather he was probably giving out hunts the whole time, I. I wouldn't I wouldn't read or didn't know how to read into it. Should I say so? Yeah. It was kind of like, um yeah. So it's not surprising, but unexpected on my heart. But so [00:12:00] how do you meet other people in the community? Um, Well, you don't really? Well, I don't, Um I've tried to now with this whole gay OK thing, um, try to get involved with, I guess the the the support side of things and meet other people. Similar people. Um, I was unaware there is another gay group called, I think Yeah, I don't know anything about this group called Q. No, I think I think basically the gist of visit that no one knew about it. Um, from [00:12:30] what I learned was that basically a Lady Girl woman had moved up from down South and started it. And I think it sort of spread out amongst the lesbian community but didn't really involve the gay community so much. Not that they didn't want to, but more because they didn't know any gay guys in Hawke's Bay. It was hard to do it. And I it's It's been around for a year and a half, but I only became aware of it a week ago. So otherwise you're a typical like grinder and that sort of stuff. But your general thing is that turned sexual within about five messages. So that's why [00:13:00] you have to, like, set it up to be very direct. I'm not here for fun. I love that one because you set it up as I am partnered looking to chat, and then you get the email going. Oh, would you like to have bare back with me? No. Are you sure your partner can come too? No. And then it still carries on. So there's a few of them out there special people. That's why I like to press the block button? Yeah. Yeah, you do Get to the block button. You do, but you kind of feel feel obliged to give some people [00:13:30] a chance. Not so much that person, but some people give you a chance and when they can go Oh, yeah, we're all kind of guys, and you get a bit weird sometimes, but they tend to continually go back to it, and you block them. So have you been in a gay bar before? Um, only the one down in Wellington with the IV so And didn't last very long. Have you ever thought about going to other places to, um yeah, but if we were in the right place at the right time for us, we're not. I mean, I'm not a very town orientated [00:14:00] person at all, anyway, um, and but if we were in town with some mates and that was a place to head to, like, go on holiday. And so it happens to be a gay bar. They're like, pretty much we kind of make an effort when we're down in Wellington to go out and do bits and pieces, um, and say if we got a chance to or if there was actually something happening and we were in that mood, then yeah, we'd go along. But it's not. Not really town people. Yeah, like has the secret one. Hamilton has the one that only have opens [00:14:30] three nights a week. And, um, Auckland has five. The advantages of being in a big city, but yeah, what is your definition of virginity? Um, would be your first sexual encounter. Do you think there's more to it than just a physical thing? No, no, no. I. I don't believe virginity is a emotional thing. It is just a purely physical sort of standard that you put on things. Uh, have you ever received or [00:15:00] experienced any abuse or abusive behaviour because of your sexuality? No. Yeah. It would be quite hard for you to be abused. In fact, I'm slightly scared right now. No, I'm kidding. Um, yeah, basically, I'm lucky in so far as that if I walked down the street, no one would know. And if I walked down the street and someone did know they're usually not a large enough group or they're brave enough to say anything, it would [00:15:30] be the easiest way to put it. So what's it like being gay and living in Hawke's Bay? Um, I guess Somewhat isolated. Um, because although there are kind of almost like a secret set of gay groups that only just finding out about, um, there's not really a lot. I don't think there's a lot of us. So, you know, unless you're, um, clearly gay and someone's going to feel comfortable talking to you, you kind of don't realise that there [00:16:00] are other people in the gay community in Hawke's Bay. Have you ever felt like you wanted to move somewhere where it's more gay populated, but not like overly populated? Um, yes and no Wellington, um, we have talked about, um, not mainly not because of the gay thing, but it would be a bonus of living there. Um, but yeah, never for the sole purpose of being around more gay people. No. OK, well, thank you for the interview. That's right.
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