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Hello. How are you today? Um good. Yeah. Thanks. That's good. How are you? My name is Ellen. Um, I'm 22 and I'm studying counselling in Wellington in Wellington. So you're born and raised in Wellington? No, I'm from the UK. Originally, I was born in England, grew up in Scotland and moved to New Zealand when I was about 13 and grew up in Northland, north, Far north, north north, Not Wellington. [00:00:30] Northland up north. And so you're a facilitator? Yeah, I facilitate at schools out. And I'm also an education volunteer with them, too. That's fun. So can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Um uh, I guess I'm you know, I'm a youth worker. I'm studying counselling. [00:01:00] I enjoy watching trashy television in my spare time. Like I've recently discovered Xena and how amazing it is. It's so bad. But in such a good way. Um, going back to the Palestine sets, Um and I'm really nerdy. I like reading, and I like writing and learning to skateboard. Yeah. So, [00:01:30] um, what is your sex? I am female. What is your gender identity? Um, I. I mostly identify as female. Sometimes I identify as like a tomboy or a, uh, boy a little while ago, I did this really cool, um, social experiment for school where I presented as male for two weeks. And it kind of really opened up my mind to my own gender identity and [00:02:00] how it kind of might be to be Trans like, as much as anyone who sis can. Um, so that was really cool. And so now I'm kind of I see my gender as much more fluid than I used to. Hm. What is your sexual orientation? Oh, I'm a big homo. You're a big homo, A lesbian. I'm a big dick. And what is your culture? Identity to New Zealand European and you express [00:02:30] your let's start this again. You express yourself as a tomboy. I'm guessing. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definite tomboy. So likes And hobbies. Um, I like reading and writing. And, um, I love watching Roller Derby Roller Derby's awesome and hanging out with my friends. Um, I like playing ukulele. I'm not very good at it, [00:03:00] but I like it. Um, I like singing and musicals for which my older brother shuns me. But that's OK. He's allowed. He's allowed. He told me off a little while ago for coming out as a musical lover. He was most disgusted. Why? I know he He thinks that we as a society should shun people who randomly burst into song strange. [00:03:30] Anyhow, um, um, So when did you realise that you were attracted to females? Um, I realised when I was about 16, but it was kind of Oh, yeah, I would have been 16. It was kind of like, um oh, this has been going on for a while now. It's pretty much explained my life. Um, because I [00:04:00] It wasn't long after I had my first boyfriend, who I dated for about a year and who, you know, he was my air quotes boyfriend. I saw him twice by accident. We didn't even hold hands, you know? And I was kind of terrified by the idea of it was like, Yeah, boy, James, no offence. And, um so you you dated him for a year, and you only see him twice by accident. Yeah, [00:04:30] and then I went Oh, wait. This is not a relationship. It kind of made me. Yeah, that's why he was my air quote boyfriend. I mean, to be honest. When he broke up with me via a note passed on by a friend, I was like, Oh, they're going out. Oops. So, yeah, um, it kind of made a lot more sense when I realised I was attracted to girls. When was your first deal with a girl like when you're, [00:05:00] like, younger? Did you, like, look across a classroom and you're like, Oh, her breasts are so beautiful or something like that. Probably not exactly like that. Where you get the Yeah, Yeah, yeah. Um, it's funny because, like, the moment when I realised I was into girls was I was in school and I was walking down the hallway and I suddenly realised that I was staring at a girl's bum. And I was like, I don't think this is like, considered normal behaviour. Oh, well, [00:05:30] and a skull scene as well. I know, But, um, when I started working that out, I thought back and realised that I had crushes on other people. And, um, I kind of thought about it and realised that I had a crush on a friend who I went to high school with, who was a dancer, which probably explains why I think dancers are freaking hold because they just are. They're very flexible as well. Great as she [00:06:00] meows. I know, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's like you. You you see a dancer and they're doing something with their legs, And you just, like, tilt your head to the side. Like I wish I could do that. Oh, yes. Anyhow, um, so when did you come out? Um, so I came out after [00:06:30] I left school when I was 18. Um, and I I waited until then because, um, my high school was pretty homophobic, and I didn't want to have to deal with, um, like, I wasn't really worried that I'd get bullied so much as I really couldn't be bothered dealing with the Oh, my God, are you attracted to me from people? Um, but, you know, I wasn't worried about my family or anything. They're big, greedy hippies, and [00:07:00] I can remember being 13 years old and my mum asking me. So have you got a boyfriend? Nope. Have you got a girlfriend? Nope. Have you got anyone? Nope. Get someone. OK, Mum. Whatever. So I knew that wasn't an issue, but I knew that if I came out to my family, then my little brother, who's a little he was a little bit of a gossip at the time. He probably wouldn't have been able to keep it to himself. So, yeah, [00:07:30] as you do. Yeah. Yeah. How old is he? Um, he's three years younger than me. So he's 18 now, so he's a bit of a and so at the age of age of 18, he would be like, he's actually, he's actually, you know, you know, we we have our arguments every now and then, but Oh, sorry. This is my younger brother. My older brother is the one who is the gossip. No, my younger brother is the gossip. My older brother is the one who frowns upon musical lovers. [00:08:00] Um, no, my my little brother, He he has his moments of awesomeness. Um, in his final year of high school, he Facebooked me and was like, Hey, I'm thinking of going to the school ball and drag. What do you think? And I'm going Well, why are you going to the school ball and drag? And he's like, Well, this girl's really homophobic, and it sucks, and they won't pick on me because I'm popular and could beat them up with my pinky. And I'm like, go for broke, bro. [00:08:30] Um, who was the first person you came out to? Friends on the Internet? I was like the screen. Yeah, I came out to the screen. Um, what was the general reaction? They were real cool about it. That I think that's the good thing about coming out to people on the Internet. It was funny because, um, we're still friends. I still five years on. I still keep in contact with that group of people with [00:09:00] one of them in particular. We talk all the time. Um, and the first person I came out to in person like IRL was Oh, who was it? Oh, it was my friend, um, one of my best friends. I was like, I think I might be by and she was like, Oh, OK, do you have a crush on someone now? And I'm like, maybe, and they're like, oh, clapping hands. Oh, my God. Who [00:09:30] is it? And then I was all embarrassed. I was like, Oh, it's me. No, it wasn't them, but yeah, it was someone they knew in they got excited. They did, and I really didn't want to tell them who it was. Did you tell them? Yeah, in the end. And they were just like, Yeah, I can see that. They're pretty bad. So, um, what was your first LGBT group that you attended? Schools [00:10:00] out, schools out. And that was as as a facilitator. You you went in as a facilitator. You didn't go and pre you just went straight in as a facilitator. I that was my first experience with any kind of LGBT group. You went in and you said, Yeah, yeah, I mean, it was It was a while after I came out, and I hung out with lots of people within the queer community. And, um, my first flat in Wellington had, um a couple of queer peeps living in it, [00:10:30] and and so you know it It wasn't my first introduction to the queer scene, but it was my first actual support group type thing. So, um, so you had AAA support system then? Yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody was supportive and Yeah, totally. Um, you know, the the only homophobia I've ever really experienced is a the occasional random drunk. More of [00:11:00] like you're a dick. It's like, Oh, my God, You have eyes. Well done. And then the other one was like, uh, an old friend of mine who I came out to and, like, I came out to her. And then I didn't see her for a year. And then when I And in that year, she got married, and when I went back, I don't know, something changed. And so they completely shunned [00:11:30] me to the point of hiding in supermarkets. Yeah, real mature. So that was the point when it became not sad anymore, but more funny and annoying. So So you didn't really receive any abuse because of your sexuality? No, not really. No, no. My my family I. I grew up in an eco village. Um, my neighbours were We had a gay couple living [00:12:00] on one side. There was, uh, um, Trans woman living near us as well in the community. Um, my mom's boss was a lesbian. Her other boss for her other job. I know. Her other colleague for another job was a lesbian. We had lesbians down the road who we got milk from, You know, there were gays and homos everywhere. Just not my Yeah, it was like, where North Coronation Street is, where the gays go to retire and raise families. It's Coronation Street. Yeah, [00:12:30] it's like it's It's just, you know, people. High school age. No way to be seen. But once you get over 30 they're all raised in families. And, you know, So, um, you've have you been in relationships before? Uh, only very recently. Only very recently. With one person. Yeah. So you've only been in one relationship with a female? Yeah. No I, I don't I don't count my air quotes boyfriend and, [00:13:00] um, my fling. Yeah. And I've had no flings. Um, my girlfriend who I've started seeing she's my first girlfriend. She's my first kiss. Like they're all they're all in all kind of thing. Was, uh are you still together? Yeah. At the moment. Yeah. What's that relationship like? It's really good. Yeah, um, we're really good at communicating and, um, checking in on feelings [00:13:30] and like where the relationship is going and that it's not going too fast or too slow or anything like that. How did you meet, uh, through her flatmates? It's a good way to meet. Yeah. So, um, how do you meet other people in the LGBTI Q community? Um, I meet them through, apart from schools out. Yeah, I was just thinking, because it's like, actually, I usually [00:14:00] just meet people through people like, um, my first flat in Wellington. I met, um, kind of the ex flatmates who used to live there, and they're all queer. And then I met people through them, and then I met people through them, and then it kind of just like that. Yeah. And so I'm always constantly surprised when I meet someone who's gay and in Wellington who? I don't know. Like, you know how there was that thing on the news a while back about [00:14:30] I think public. I was like, Oh, my God. Lesbians? I don't know. I was like, Oh, my God. I must know. Must I must learn their ways because I was like, it's more just like I didn't know they existed. Where where did they hide? I thought I knew everybody. Perhaps we can have a snook too. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what is your definition of virginity or your personal opinion? Um wow. [00:15:00] Uh, I guess you know if It feels like sex. And it feels good. Then that's sex, regardless of anything it's not. Um, but I guess to some extent, I suppose I see, um, virginity as, um, Penetration? Um, I guess. Hm. But, you know, sex is different for everybody. [00:15:30] Well, thank you for that interview. Cool. Thank you.
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