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Hello. What's your name? Do Go, go, Go. Ok, Can you tell us about yourself? Um, I'm 24. 24. I live in Auckland, live in Auckland. Interest, interest, music. I know how to orientation. Orientation or no, Um occupation. Occupation. Um, I suppose I'm [00:00:30] a sales consultant in cosmetics. So you're originally not from Auckland? No, I'm from born in. Tim lived most of my life in and you've lived in all these different areas Kind of place thing. Yes. And Queenstown and Queenstown. So what other areas have you lived in? That's it. That's it. So just the South Island mainland into Auckland. So is it being a big culture shock for you? Not really. Initially [00:01:00] it was like, Christ, the space is huge. Um, but no, No, it's, um not really. It's been quite natural. So you How old are you? 24. 24. Just remembered. 21. Um, what's your gender identity? Male. Your culture, Identity. European and your sexuality. KK. [00:01:30] Yeah. Um when did you realise? Um, I suppose about the age of 11. 11? Yeah. Let's go with that. How did you realise I was sleeping with my best friend? Is what I'm guessing. It's like you had a sleepover or something like that. Yes. [00:02:00] And she had some sort of erection and thought This is It wasn't so much that it was just I wasn't attracted to girls attracted to boys. So So I went down. Unfortunately, at the time. Yeah. So was it just one friend or he had other sexual attractions to other friends as well. Not through friends, but just guys was getting off my friend at the time. So I just went around like, Oh, he's [00:02:30] chill kind of thing. I did at the age of 13. Yes, but well, you don't really necessarily always think like that, but yeah, 11. 30. Yeah. It's what happens when you're drinking a few wines. You forget things. Yes. Um, So how did you feel when you realised at the time? Not good. It was more. OK, Well, this is how it's going down. But I at the time I really wanted Children had a normal life, you know? So, [00:03:00] um, that's right. Still get the girl, do the whole normal heterosexual thing. And, you know, that was the plan at the time. So it was like something like, um Oh, this is you. So you were kind of scared in a way, weren't you? Yeah, I was. I, like, didn't know what my family was going to think. The idea of telling everyone was just a bit much of time. So were you thinking in a way that she couldn't have Children? [00:03:30] Um, when you when you had these feelings of guys? Yes. Well, at that time, I didn't know any other options, really? Back then. Yes. Yeah. So, um, did you feel that you had to keep it a secret from everybody? Absolutely. Strictly secret. Yeah, that everyone apart from people are sick at the time. How we can we boys to sleep with? [00:04:00] Um, just I'd sort of been experimenting from about the age of four, with different friends. But, um, that sort of petered out, I suppose, about the age of nine. And then as 11. I was experienced with my friend at the time, and, um, he was the only one until I came out of 18. But I was only in a couple of years with him, So, um, it was a regular thing with him. [00:04:30] Yeah, did he turned out gay as well, or so it wasn't just one random stage in his life. No, he's now married to Well, we married to a guy in the UK. Yeah. Or civil Union or Yeah, I think there's civil Union over there. I don't think they do. Yeah. Civil union, like us. Kiwis here. Um OK, so you're out of the closet [00:05:00] now, right? Yes. So how did you come out of the closet? I told my best friend, Nicky, the first year I moved out of home, which was when I was 18 while cooking Green Thai curry and, um, at my flat, which I just got. And, um and I told her and she cried and she went and locked out of the bathroom because she wanted to like to date you or something. No, it's because she's always like previously Are you gay? And I'm like, No, no, no, no. [00:05:30] I just basically because I lied to her for quite a while. Well, so you didn't feel ready at the time, so no. When I was at high school, I didn't feel that was inappropriate, um, environment for coming out here. So she was just hurt that you didn't tell her straight away. Yeah, mostly teenage girls. Yes. So how about like your parents? Um, yes. [00:06:00] I never really told either of them so to speak. Um, I mum found out, um, when I was about 19, maybe because I was working with uniq, um, in Otago and I was organising all these events. So I had all these event posters up in my wall like queer tea party and da da da. And I brought my flatmate home for Christmas. Richard from, um [00:06:30] I was living with him. Indeed, in my first flat when I was 18 and I brought him home for Christmas, and I think the family noticed that we were a bit closer than maybe we should be, you know? So, yeah, I think Mum caught on. So when I was away in Auckland with Richard on holiday, she was going from my room and talking to my friend Nicky and going what's going on? And blah, blah, and yeah, So that's how she found out. So was your flatmate at the time your boyfriend or, um, he was from Auckland. He moved down to [00:07:00] He was, um, friends with a mutual friend of ours who was living in the flat. And that's how I met him. And, um, yeah, so it wasn't really my boyfriend? No, I don't know what he was, but there's a little bit of a friend of benefits in a way. Well, there was no benefits until we stopped living together, so we were sort of emotionally involved for a year. And then after I moved out of the flat and went to another flat, he followed me for a little bit and was [00:07:30] living with me for a while. And then, um, you know, got got on once and then, um and that was that. You be, well, kind of. We still remain friends for a while, and I moved up to Auckland because he moved back to Auckland and I moved back up here a while afterwards. And, um, now he's living with his partner in Australia. So, um, what's the main reactions you've gotten? When you came out, I was still pretty positive. Really? Um, [00:08:00] like, I mean, I didn't I didn't tell dad that I was gave him. I think Mum did, and it was sort of understood that I was, but we never really talked about it. And it was It was fine. Um, like, I was in the newspaper and dragged down there, so that was pretty self-explanatory. Really? So yeah. Hey, parents, I'm gay. Had a dr and Dr. What's your drag name did? Vine. Vine. So you do [00:08:30] go on K Road that often? Occasionally. You see me at these events? Um, you can find me at the on these dates? Uh, sometimes. So how about your friends? What are the reactions from them at the time? Well, any time Fine. Hm. Most of my friends are gay at the moment, so yeah. No, there's never been any problems. Really? Nothing [00:09:00] new. No, it's pretty obvious. So So how do you feel about everybody's reactions? Good, but really no problems. Hey, how about how do you feel about when you came out? No, it was good. It went really well. I sort of went from pretending to be straight to, like, full on being gay next day. I was part of uni. It was all go. So did you ever got any new support? Yes. Yes, [00:09:30] you You more specific. My friend Nicky was really supportive. Yeah. After crying in the bathroom, she was fine. She just had a cry. And she was like, No, she was great. She was like, This is a thing called Uniq. You should go. And I was like, Oh, Christ, I Yeah. Anyway, so and then a relationship started with uniq. Yes, which ended up me being, um I'm the collective, which is the managing body and running the event sector for a couple of years as well. So having fun there. [00:10:00] So how about any other organisation? Um, well, after because I ran the event sector for a couple of years because there's no gay bar in Dunedin. So we did like a gay club night called Funk once a month, which was part of uni. But the whole community was obviously invited. And then I got a job with the university student association. Um, working as the, um, queer. [00:10:30] Uh, was it uh, uh, like queer youth community liaison officer, I think was the The title was some big long title, but I was working with, um, kids in schools coming up. So I was contracted by the university to go around and visit the different schools, provide support and information to staff and students and I worked along with a lot of community organisations as well, basically just being a liaison officer between things like great crisis and all sorts of stuff. So did you have to do any training? Um, [00:11:00] not really. Um I I did here. What's the one looking for mediation? That's the one. It's been so long since I've done this. I did? Yeah. So I did like a P mediation course and all that sort of stuff. Yeah. So you've been in a relationship before, right? Technically, what counts as a relationship boyfriend, boyfriend kind of thing? Not really. No, not really, No. Well, I guess I went out with a guy a little bit last year for about two [00:11:30] months, but I wouldn't really count it as a relationship, Really. It was sort of quite short lived it. I wouldn't Yeah, I wouldn't really count it, to be honest. Was it a bit messy? No, it was just more of a It didn't. There was no real mutual anything there at the end of the day. So nice spark. No, um, Has you coming out affected that at all, or you when you realise, Has [00:12:00] that ever affected your relationships. I don't think so. No. No. Um, how about has any of the reactions from your friends or family affected your relationships? No. You must have been pretty supportive. That's good. Um, how do you meet other people? How do I meet other people? Yeah, out and about Socially. Generally. Yeah. So, um, how about, like Facebook? Yeah. [00:12:30] I haven't really met that many people on Facebook grinder. No, definitely not. No NZD. Um yeah, back in the day, I think I've met a few people off, but generally the people I knew first anyway, but not really at all. And manhunt? No, it is, but never been on it. Whatever it is, that's no. Um, so this is a big [00:13:00] hard question. What is your definition of virginity? Not to have had sex. Just haven't had sex before. In a way, yes. Penetrative sex or all the above. Any touching kind of things. Have you ever received any abusive behaviour because of your sexuality before? Generally? No. Um, [00:13:30] the only incident that comes to mind. I was walking through Mount Wellington once I got lost, and I was trying to find my way to a training event for work. And, um, someone threw a pump bottle out the window of a moving car at me, but that was about it. I don't know if that's necessarily gender or um based, but that probably I think it probably was at the time. I think I was checking it randomly. I was like, Oh, whoops. Um, yeah. So, um, [00:14:00] being out in Dunedin and being out in Auckland is that a bit different? But do you feel different being out in two different places? Yes, I went back to recently and I did a drag show down there and I went out one night and dragged because my friend made me and, um, went to a bar that I used to go to all the time. And on my way out, they've been pretty, not really inside, just in general. There's a whole group of us, and I was the only one in drag on the way [00:14:30] out. The security guard on the way past whispered to me in my ear, um, and stay out as I was leaving, and I was just like, Oh, well, that was interesting. So yes is quite conservative. And actually, once when I was in my office down there in drag after doing the show. Um, so everything's on site at university, the office and the club and everything. Um, yeah, some people tried to get into the office. It's a glass door office, and I was in there, like away printing out something. And so, yeah, it's a bit they don't see that sort of thing that it's [00:15:00] not accepted. So it's a bit rough down there. Yes and no, like, people are really, really nice. But some people just don't understand. So they Yeah. Do you feel that they're not educated or Yeah, I think so. That's the thing about Auckland. You see lots of stuff up here, and people don't mean you can walk up and down Cave road and do whatever. I've been walked up and down road and drag their gears, and I've never had a problem whatsoever. But, um, you know, when you go down to a small place that never see that type of stuff. But then again, we did a show in a tiny little farming community called [00:15:30] outside of Christchurch. Everyone was fantastic. Like, um, we did a full 45 minute drag show with three drag queens. And, um, it was great. So it just it depends on the context. May. How about Well, that depends. They probably expected that kind of thing. Obviously, they knew we were coming, but, um yeah, from people who aren't into that sort of thing and small town, they can be a bit confrontational at times, a lack of education because they just they don't know any better and they don't understand it. So therefore they get scared [00:16:00] and they some people react violently or abusively. Do you ever think that it's, um, dangerous and, well, let's start. Do you think it's dangerous for a flamboyant gay or a drag queen walking through a small town? It can be, um, especially, for example, if you're in drag. People usually know that you're gay because it's a very obvious statement, you know, so or if you're being overly as, as you said flamboyant. Yes, I think, um, and people [00:16:30] can easily identify it, and you're making the public point of it or people can publicly identify you. Yes, I think it can be dangerous. How about do you think it's a little bit dangerous? I don't think that specifically is dangerous. I think it is dangerous in general. So, um yeah. I mean, all this shit goes down, but no, I don't think that's as bad on K Road. No. How about anywhere else in Auckland? Do you think that's you know what? I think Auckland's pretty accepting. So I mean, you might get a bit of shit if you're [00:17:00] doing it down, but it sort of everyone knows what goes on. It's quite metropolitan up here, so people see a lot of different things from different cultures. Um, so people are generally pretty open minded up here because a lot of stuff goes on. OK, thank you for the interview. Cheers.
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