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Hello. How are you today? Great. And where are you from? Auckland. What part? West Auckland, West Auckland. And what is your name? Aah! Can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Um well, I've been through fost homes my whole life, Um, being put with different families, having to adapt to having different parents and different lifestyles and having my parents have different views on my lifestyle and going from rural to urban areas and [00:00:30] seeing the community's views on different lifestyles. That's pretty much so. You want to tell us? Um What? Um, some examples of those, um well, I was lucky. The rural area I was in was only when I was a baby, but looking back at them now, some of the people that I was close to us as accepting of my lifestyle and the first foster family I was in were real conservative Christians, and but they've changed now and now they're really accepting of me. And I think we've [00:01:00] actually gotten closer over it because I helped them open up to them as people because now they're able to accept the community more so they're more comfortable in their own skin. That's I did not know that. Um, So you're here at the Yes, Yes. What is the, um It's to help students organise Q SAS at their high schools or maintain their Q SAS. So we're here in Wellington. It's a beautiful day, Kind of. [00:01:30] Yeah. Yeah. You're the only warm person from the blankets. Yeah, and I have the least warm blanket, but I'm the warmest. You're the warmest with the thinnest blanket out, which makes no typical sense. What bear blames Teddy bear. Um, So what is your, um how do you feel about being here, etcetera? Um, it's the most comfortable I felt in my life. Like I'm around the nicest people I've ever met. And it's just I feel [00:02:00] like myself for the first time, and it's been great. You don't have to be like Bitch, please. I do that at home just for the hell of it. Just for the hell of it. Just go up to your mother, not even my personality. I'm just like you know what? I'm going to do this because it sounds cool. Just go up to your mother and say, Bitch, please. And then she just screams at you. I don't live at home anymore. But I do it to the person I live with. I just boarding with a random family boarding with a random family bitch. Please [00:02:30] work. Work it. So, um so what is your gender identity? Female CIS female. And what is your What is your expression? Female feminine? Well, actually, I'm sort of I don't like skirts and dresses and not that sort of feminine. But I'm not very butch and manly. I just I'm sort of in the mid ground. And what is your cultural [00:03:00] identity? Meaning Ethnic European, European and well, not necessarily. Um, you what you are, But you could actually, um, culturally be with Maori if you wanted to be. I'm European. And what is your sexuality? Pansexual. Pansexual. So I've for me not a lot of people know what pansexual is. Do [00:03:30] you want to tell us what your what pansexual is? Hey, Well, pansexual is actually got a lot of different meanings for different people. But the way I use it is attraction on a spiritual level where I'm going to fall in love with a personality. I don't actually see what people look like. I couldn't describe what someone looked like to you. Um and I'm just going to fall in love with the person. And I don't notice gender. I don't notice skin colour. I don't notice eye colour. It's just they're all a blur, But they're amazing people. And that's who I'm going to fall in love [00:04:00] with a cookie. So, um, when did you realise that you're a pansexual? I chose to be a pansexual you to be a pan. I didn't want to single out one gender. I just I felt that was for me. I couldn't do that. So I'm one of the few people that chose to be gay. It's rare. So when did you choose, then, Um Well, I was always sort of didn't understand sexuality in a way. And then I realised about last year [00:04:30] beginning of last year to midway through that, you know, this is what I want to be. I was always, like, confused about what? That was for me. And then I heard the term pansexual. And so I was like, Yes, that's me. That's who I want to be. That's what I want. Yeah. Last year, how did you feel? Um, sort of happy, like I'd finally found who I was and who I wanted to be happy. Yeah, I just felt content that, you know, I'd finally found who I was because, [00:05:00] you know, that's always a long journey. So you're proper happy, not happy. Happy if there's a difference, we'd happy I jumped up and down in excitement, and I was like, Yes, I know who I am. I'm Benex. Yeah, it wasn't that dramatic a little bit, actually. I was pretty over the moon about it. Luckily, my family wasn't home because I didn't want to come out to them yet. Sort of. Yeah. When did you come out? I came out of last year in an argument with my mother, [00:05:30] but I didn't want to, because she's homophobic towards gay guys. And I didn't want to be accepted by her. Just because I'm a female like a spear at the moment burst out like I'm or she was dogging on gay guys with a whole bunch of Jehovah witnesses, and I just burst into tears and I go fuck you. I'm gay. And I'm really angry that the only reason you're going to accept me is because I am a chick and you won't accept my two gay brothers because they have a dick. And I even considered getting a sex change and becoming a gay guy [00:06:00] just to piss her off. Is that something that you wanted really or Well, I've considered it a few times. I think it would be real interesting, and I could adapt to that. And it would be fun. Um, I'm happy as I am at the moment, but it's something I would consider seriously, that's that's good. Um, so who was the first person? So your mother was the first person you came out to? Or, um, I came out pretty sure. [00:06:30] I came out to one of my friends first, Um, because my whole group of friends just assumed I was a lesbian and I became the school faggot. So I've sort of adapted that and just I pretend I'm a lesbian. At school. I came with you went with a lesbian to the prom. Yeah. If I'm going to be the school faggot, then I'm going to be the school faggot with all I am. But, you know, I've explained to my friends what I am, and a lot of them are actually envious of my sexuality and the ability to not judge. So, yeah, I've noticed that you're extreme [00:07:00] Adam Lambert fan. Yeah, extreme is a little underrated, isn't it? Underrated. Extreme, Um, uber obsessed. He's the centre of my world, actually. Yeah, well, it's actually funny because I hated him for two years, and I like all his friends and family better than him. He's just sort of the centre of it all. And he's the easiest to portray to people as a fan girl. Like I was like, Oh my God, Sally And they were like, Who's Sally? Where do you go? Adam Weber and [00:07:30] everyone around him. They understand that. So So if you want to tell us who Sally is, his gorgeous finish model boyfriend is a hunk of a dude. Just saying So is Neil. Oh my God. Oh, look, there is a cat. Hello, cat, Black and white. It's behind the heater Blackie. So here at the everybody's been screaming out cat because [00:08:00] there's three of them, three of them, the black and white one, which apparently is Blacky. There's a tabby cat. I'm not sure it's name. And then there's another one, which is a kitten. And what's the tabby one? Uh, one's hunger. The great one. I got one down in the flat next door. I see the one up here called Hunger Buster. Yeah. Oh, hello, Black. [00:08:30] I think they all do. We forced to love Cuddles. Yeah. Yeah. This interview is being a bit he's gone straight to cats. What do you like about cats? Um, their independence and their fuck your attitude. And they keep your lap warm. Oh, my God. I think we can listen to this pairing. Think everybody listening to this. Um, and you would go? Oh, right [00:09:00] now. So, um, continuing with the interview, We've gone a bit off track, but oh, well, how did people react when you came out? Um, they were all exciting, um, accepting about it. My mom is still convinced I'm a lesbian, and she can't grasp the concept of pansexual. And that frustrates me so much because it's just sort of made boundaries on my life. Like she just assumes everything I do is lesbian, and she won't accept the fact. And then I tell her that I might end up with [00:09:30] a guy, and then she goes, So you're straight, and she has no concept of in between and where all my friends understand it. You know, having your family not understand It is so hard because it's like they're refusing to accept you as you They're wanting to put a label on you so, bitch. Yeah, Yeah, it's a bit mixed up, and but But the people I care about because I'm going in the end, my friends are the people I'm going to turn to because I know that they're the accepting [00:10:00] ones. So I felt who I'm closest to now who is who are you closer to J AJ AJ my best. I tell her everything and and my best friend for 12 years was my pet pig because she was always there for me and she wouldn't tell any of my secrets. And she never judged me. And I think you know, having an animal to be your best friend is [00:10:30] the safest option sometimes. So, um so that's your support. What are you doing? Of course Has been anything you got me, you poor thing. You've got me. OK, we have to hold on to the she'll destroy my papers. Um, queer Kitty, kitty um So [00:11:00] you've been in relationships before? No, no, no. Why is that? Um I'm quite happy with being single. I haven't fully found myself yet as a person. And I don't want to start looking for someone else before I found myself. Have you been attracted to other people? Yes. Have you been like, Well, not, like crush? Like I want to grab you kind of thing. I've never been in lust and lust. You ever been lost? How have [00:11:30] you been in love? No, I've been in love. I've had crushes. I have a crush at the moment. Never in lust, though never in lust. So, um, has your sexuality or your family ever affected your, um your you getting into a relationship with someone or looking for something? Um, I don't think it would be a boundary, but I just haven't tried yet. And I'm hoping it's not going to be a boundary for me. Do you have boundaries for yourself? What [00:12:00] do you mean by that? Like, do you have any mental boundaries that stop you from doing things? Um, I guess everyone's got a few. You know, I do have a few. I couldn't tell you them right now because I can't think of them. But, you know, I guess when the time arises, I would have some boundaries. Yeah, I think the cat was I think the cat is our boundary at the moment because it's very It's a distraction. Boundary. Hello, Kitty. Come on. Oh, here it comes. Here comes Blackie. Oh, you're so cute. [00:12:30] Listen to Oh, if I could take a photo and put it online, I would show all of you who are listening to this. Um oh, yeah. OK, um, so are you sorry for a very, very, very personal question? But are you a virgin? Yes, I'm a virgin. How cold is that toast? Um, well, I mean, I've [00:13:00] When I was eight, I had my first kiss, and it was with another girl. Um, we were playing Harry Potter and she was playing Harry and I was playing her, and that was before Herman and Ron got together. So we just assumed Harry and her wouldn't get get together, But I don't really count that she doesn't even remember it. Um, so I think I've ruled that out, and I haven't even so at the moment. No, first kiss. No relations. It's not. It wasn't a proper I'm in love Kiss. No, it was You're [00:13:30] Harry. I'm Hermione. Let's make out without actually making up. This is a pretend peak kiss. Yeah. So what is your definition on virgin? Um, I think there's levels of it. I think you know, there's, You know, at the moment I'm fully, you know, um, how do I explain this? There's like, like a colour spectrum or without being a colour spectrum like there's like, I think there's even feeling virginity. [00:14:00] Like, if you've never fallen in love with someone that's a type of virginity, because virginity is about relationships and sex and there's sex. And then there's penetration sex. So it's just all forms of virginity. So in a way, you can't really say what is virginity? Because it's too categorised. Yeah, yeah. So you think that virginity is more not of one thing? It's a whole bunch of things. There's different virginity like me and my friends joke [00:14:30] that if you haven't seen the Rocky Horr pitch show, you're a virgin. And as soon as you've watched it, you've lost your virginity. It's like the rocky virginity. Yeah, I've lost my rocky virginity. You've lost my rocky virginity. I lost it when I was four years old, dear. Yeah, um it's like, um, it's not just that I had a perfect example. I forgot it. How dare I? So, um, how do you meet other people in your community [00:15:00] or in the community? Don't meet other people in the community. You don't? No, no. I live on the computer or AJ. I met her because we were wearing the same Adam Lambert T shirt. And so we were like, Hey, same t-shirt buddies. And now we're best friends. And it turned out I'd been her friend on the Internet for a few years, which is quite funny. Yeah, I think that's how I meet most of my friends is via the Internet. I don't like the people in my community. So, so far [00:15:30] is that is it because of the region you live in or West Auckland is gangs and drugs, and I'm not interested in that, and I don't want to be a part of that. So I don't want to be a part of the people surrounding that. The kitchen is biting me. Good old kitty. So um, how about other parts of Auckland, though, um, don't really leave my town. I couldn't even direct you around my town. I just never leave the house. I'm a bit of a hermit, so I don't talk to people. The only place you go to is just to, [00:16:00] like, unite or school or my school or a school. I went to the rain Youth for the first time this week because I'm getting involved in that. But I'm not involved in that yet. And now they get inspiring you. Hello? Oh, this is this interview has turned into the interview about the cat. Yeah, well, the cat could be gay. We can't make assumptions. Let's ask the cat, Are we allowed to ask the allowed to ask the kitty? [00:16:30] Let's see. Are you straight or gay? OK, Or any other LGBTI Q? No, we don't have it. He's content with his sexuality. He's content and it's gender identity. It's gender identity. What? I wonder what gender this cat is. Well, we can't even check that because we can find out it's sex, but we can't find out it's gender because cats don't OK, let's find out the sex shall we? [00:17:00] It was a female little female cat. That's quite awkward. Oh, it has gone hiding in there. I don't like be anymore. He doesn't like me. So have you ever experienced any abuse or abusive behaviour by people? Um, last year at school, I was getting to threats because I was the school figure. And at that point, they didn't even know I was gay or a pan or whatever. Um, they just found someone [00:17:30] who looked weak to pick on, and they didn't realise that I would turn out to be one of the biggest gay supporters in the school and turn it all against them. And you've silenced all the critics from taking AJ to your ball. Yeah, well, since I took a chick to prom, they haven't called me a faggot. I think it was the big holy shit. She is gay. And this has been affecting her moment and that that even though they knew it was affecting me by taking a G two prom, it was a big [00:18:00] Well, she's still proud. And she's going to be gay. No matter what we say, we can't change that. I think also, in a way, It's just that when they insult you by calling you gay, it's not an actual insult. They're trying to find a way to insult when you're straight because you when you're if you're straight and you're been called gay, you react. But if you really are gay and you and you actually come out as gay, for example to the ball, [00:18:30] they be like, Holy shit, they are actually gay. We can't actually. OK, um, new plan. No, that's exactly it. Yeah, well, thank you for the interview. That's right. Had fun. So did I. That's the cat. It's all about the cat. It's all about the cat. Thank you. It's all good.
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