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[00:00:30] [00:01:00] Hello to all of you, New Zealanders. You [00:01:30] are the ones who are safe. You are here. I want to thank you all for coming to this important event, Te Papa Tongarewa. Te Papa Tongarewa. Thank you for your mana.[00:02:00] To all, everyone today, we must always remember what happened those many years ago. Those people who at that time were ostracized because they were gay. Those people who [00:02:30] actually fought with us. So that we could be accepted as a community that is very valuable to these islands. Te Papa Tongarewa is all of our, it belongs to all of us. We are just holding it to keep it for future generations. [00:03:00] And when we talk about.. Te maru, te maru o tuanui tō tātou haere nei te Papa Tongarewa, that you are under the shelter of our National Museum. Te Papa Tongarewa. Te Papa is short for Papa Hau, which is like an oblong, um, sacred, uh, treasure box, which we, this treasure box holds the treasures of [00:03:30] our nation. And what we do say is.. He aha ta mea nui? He thangata. He thangata. He thangata. You ask me what is the most important thing in creation, then I say to you, It is the people. It is the people. It is the people. And we, our gay, our lesbian, our transgender people, we are [00:04:00] people. And some people have forgotten that. We are people. Nō reira, e ngā iwi, e ngā mana, e ngā karangarangatanga. Tēnā koutou. Tēnā koutou.[00:04:30] [00:05:00] [00:05:30] Um, our chief executive has joined us on stage and so I just wanted to invite you to say a few, a few words, um, and then we'll [00:06:00] complete the process. So that she has another moment to think about her speech. Um, I just wanted to acknowledge the children, the woman, and the man that passed that are, you know, that are in the memories of the quilts killed her. Well, kia ora tātou. I wasn't actually meant to be at work today, and I tried to just slip in the back quietly, uh, and not be up on the stage, but, um, kia ora. Ko [00:06:30] Courtney Johnston tōku tumu whakarae mo te papa. Um, Sorry, because I have walked in. I don't want to go over anything, but I do want to acknowledge the passing of Georgina Byer, uh, this week, um, as we come together in this moment of, I think what is both, um, commemoration and celebration, you know, of, um, deep sadness and revisiting a time that [00:07:00] we hoped that the, the challenge and the discrimination and the hatred faced by people at the time that this quilt was made, that it was made to stand up to, that it was made to bring people together to provide um, A quilt is a cloak of protection in some ways. It's a sign of love, um, of mourning, but also of resistance, and I think every generation hopes that we will [00:07:30] no longer need these stands, but we find that we keep on having to come together in stands of both resistance and allyship. As well. So, um, it's not the first time I've got to be in the presence of the quilt when I worked out at the Dowse. We brought the quilt out there and met with members of the community and people who had been there at the time. And every time I am struck by.. Just the love and the care that has gone into this [00:08:00] work and the need to keep bringing it out and connecting it with people because our history is so fragile and it is lost so quickly, um, and the experiences of when one generation they can only really be shared by the next generation and the next by coming together to tell stories and to share experiences. So I'm very grateful that we have this opportunity, um, that we get to be the guardians of such an important part of Aotearoa's history and this connection to a global [00:08:30] history. Um, but also to have this chance to keep coming together, to keep remembering, but also to keep turning our eyes forward, uh, standing, I think, in solidarity and with love, um, with sadness, uh, but also, I think, of course, with pride. And some joy and some flamboyance, because, you know, the quilt is also filled with those things as well. So thank you for being here today, and thank you for leading Te Papa being a place where we can gather. Um, and sorry if [00:09:00] that didn't all make sense. Too much sense. But, um, it's, uh, museums are incredible places because we get to be filled with emotion. Um, and to bring people together in these moments never stops being incredibly special. So thank you very much for being here today. Kia ora.[00:09:30] [00:10:00] Holy.[00:10:30] Kiana. Thanks everyone for the beautiful start to this event. Um, my name's Bena. I work here in the public programs team. I'm just gonna run through a little bit of housekeeping for our talks, and then I will introduce. our first speaker today. Um, we have a very incredible lineup of speakers [00:11:00] here. Um, I'm actually amazed. Um, and each of those speakers will have 10 to 15 minutes up here. Um, and then, uh, they'll hand over to the next person. I understand that many of you will be, um, have ducked out of work or other obligations today. So, um, we understand if you need to come and go. Uh, in between talks, please just, um, make your way out as quietly as you can. Um, we'll have a short break about halfway through [00:11:30] and expect that all the talks will wrap up about 1. 30. I understand it's a big day, but there's a lot, there's a lot of amazing people to hear from. Um, and lastly, just some acknowledgements, um, first of all to Ruben from, um, Legans who has put so much into organizing this event and has really brought it together. Um, to all of our speakers, Michael, Bill, Welby, Jane, Cal, Jeremy, um, Chanel, and to Claire and Roger who have also contributed today. Um, it's amazing to have your generosity and [00:12:00] time here. Um, there are a number of organisations who have contributed today as well. The Positive Speakers Bureau, the Lesbian and the Gay Archives, Te Pūranga Takatāpui o Aotearoa and Te Whanau Whanau. Um, everyone from Te Papa who has contributed to this event and to the care of the quilt. And, and of course finally to everyone who has contributed too. Um, and is represented and remembered by the quilt. Um, and not just the four blocks that we have on display here, but, um, all 16, [00:12:30] Hau Pei Te Papa, and, and more elsewhere as well. So I am going to hand over, first of all, to, um, our very first speaker. Michael Bancroft, um, Michael has provided me with an exceptional bio today. Um, Michael Bancroft was a Catholic priest in Auckland in 1988, when asked by a 44 year old Catholic with AIDS to assist him and to conduct his funeral. Thirty five years later, Michael has accompanied over 140 H I v positive, [00:13:00] mainly gay men, and conducted over 100 AIDS related funerals. He became the guardian of the New Zealand AIDS Memorial Quilt in 2003 until 2018, and was responsible for its handover to Tepa in 2012. Um, he came out and le and has sis and since, um, left the priestly ministry in 1999. tested positive for HIV in 2003 and still remains involved with the community. Significantly, um, Michael has not conducted an AIDS related funeral since [00:13:30] 2011. Michael, I'll hand over to you. Michael will introduce the next two speakers. E te Haere mai te Whanganui a Tāra. E te marae te whanau te purangi tapuhi o Aotearoa. Haere mai ki [00:14:00] te kou matua, te whanau, tamariki, manuhiri. Tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou, tēnā koutou katoa. Good morning. Greetings to you all. As you've just heard, I'm Michael. As a funeral celebrant. I get very annoyed when people stand up at microphones and say, I haven't prepared anything, and then go on and on and on. Well, I [00:14:30] prepared, and at 11 o'clock last night I was changing it, in my head, and sitting here just now I'm changing it again. Firstly, I would like to pay tribute and honour the beloved people who are represented on the quilts here present. and those that we are seeing behind us on the screens.[00:15:00] It's not something that I'm proud of, but it is something that I am very privileged by the fact that I could stand here all day going through one after the other and telling you something of their story. But that is just not possible. I encourage you to go onto the website. And read through [00:15:30] the stories that are contained there. And in so doing, I usually say the thank you at the end, but I want to say it at the beginning. To Te Papa for receiving the kaunga of the quilt back in 2012. And to Stephanie Gibson somewhere, yes. That we work together to bring that [00:16:00] about, and all of her team at that time, some of whom are present today, how quickly all those years have passed. And crouched down on the floor here, you have Gareth Watkins, who's recording things. Well, when you look at all those images behind you, Gareth and his partner, Roger, spent three days in [00:16:30] Auckland, way back in about 2011, photographing every single.. So that we have it as part of our heritage. So we have them to thank for the beauty of the gift that is held in that fashion. I was present also when many of these quilts were made. Though I never actually got to make any [00:17:00] of them. Over on the On the left hand side here, the second one up is one that commemorates and remembers Russell Wells. You may not have known Russell, but most of you will have heard of his brother Peter. I was conducting a funeral of my very first [00:17:30] person that was named, or wasn't named, but Peter, in my introduction. And this person came up to me and said, That was a bloody good service. Will you do mine? And Russell was the second one. Followed by so many more. I brought with me a photograph of my parents.[00:18:00] Taken just three months before my mother died in 1976. Followed 11 months later by my father. Both of them through illness, 52 at the time. But that is not my parents. That is.. The persons that are contained in this image, [00:18:30] just as when you look at these quilts, they hold the memories of all the beautiful people that have been part of our lives, part of your families, brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, grandparents, lovers and partners. And [00:19:00] each of them is precious. Because they hold the memories for us. Think back over the last few weeks, television has showed us scores of people clutching, photographs, muddied, ruined, and people saying We've lost everything but the photos of their [00:19:30] families that they've taken out of those muddy waters and the sludge and slush in so many parts of rah. They now hold those ever more precious. And that's why these quilts here, and the ones that are held by Te Papa, are so precious, because they help us in telling [00:20:00] the story, the story of the people that they are shown. And the quilt project, I could, again, give a whole day's lecture on the start of it. But it began on the 27th of November in San Francisco in 1985. But down the back here, there is a quilt in the name of Peter [00:20:30] Cuthbert, 1988. I never knew him, but some of you did, because he was here in Wellington. And he was the first person in Aotearoa, New Zealand, to have a quilt made in his honour. And directly behind him is one for Tom McLean, the author who, as far as I know, wrote the first what I'll call local AIDS related book [00:21:00] called If I Should Die. And right here, where we are, here in Wellington, the very beginning of what we are doing today. And why did people make quilts? Because way back in those days in the United States. Cemeteries wouldn't take bodies. Funeral directors wouldn't bury [00:21:30] them. People didn't know what to do with them. And if you think, yeah, that was America. No, come back right here. Some of you will know the days of Ward 10 at Auckland City Hospital. It was known as the AIDS ward. And just like COVID in recent times. It was masks, gloves, PPE gear, signs on doors, [00:22:00] patients referred to as AIDS victims. And if you thought there was privacy, no. In those days, the patient room lists were in reception. You'll remember those days generally. And everyone who was HIV had a purple dot by their name. So once you got to know what the purple dot meant, you could just walk around and, [00:22:30] oh yeah, that one's got it, that one's got it. And that's what people did. The AIDS victims, as they called them. And it didn't stop there. People died. They were placed in a body bag. Removed. Into a coffin. No embalming. No viewing. No personal family farewells. [00:23:00] Many families just wanted it all to be kept hush hush. I was often told, Don't mention AIDS at the funeral, Michael. Don't wear a red ribbon, because they'll all know then. Because that was the days, remember, when every film star and other person would appear on TV wearing a red ribbon. But it became an AIDS identifier, [00:23:30] part of the stigma. I remember one rural family Ahem. where they ordered that there be no pofters at our son's funeral. That was how they said it. And the church happened to say, we don't want anyone to know we've held an AIDS funeral here either.[00:24:00] So no wonder people wanted to make quilts to remember. Now there are 16 of these blocks, and about 10. that are held by the AIDS Foundation, now known as the Burnett Foundation in Auckland, which are still displayed and available to people for small little [00:24:30] gatherings. During the early 2000s, As the numbers of AIDS deaths started to decline, so did the making of quilts. It wasn't a big problem in New Zealand, but our closest neighbours, Australia, when I last visited them during one of their displays, they had a hundred [00:25:00] and twenty blocks. And they couldn't display them. They, they were having to spend thousands of dollars to store them and to move them around. Because they were so big and so bulky. And in America, I know I've got it here somewhere, there were something like 94, 000 of them. Can you [00:25:30] imagine that? 94, 000. And I think there is.. Um, Welby, in that book that your story is in, I think it's got the photo of the Washington Memorial. Yes, Welby's nodding. Have a look at that, and you'll see the whole of the Washington Memorial, where they displayed them. So, once upon a time, there was [00:26:00] AIDS, there still is. But fortunately, the gift of medication, treatments, General care means that there are people now here in Aotearoa who have been living with the virus for 35, almost 40 years.[00:26:30] There was a time I would never have stood in a gathering like this and said, I'm positive. I don't look it, do I? Plenty of guts. I haven't faded away. But this year is my 20th anniversary. And my specialist looks at me and says, Mike, you don't have to worry about being HIV positive, you need to do something about your stomach [00:27:00] before you have a heart attack. Well, I've had that three times or a stroke, hopefully not. You know, but that is how, in a sense, we've, it's kind of almost needed to be talked about anymore. So, as we gather today, with gratitude for [00:27:30] people who put their memories together, so that today, 35 years later, we can gather and remember. and keep them alive. We are grateful to them, but to people like Benna and Ruben and the team here at Te Papa and [00:28:00] others who unbeknown to me have contributed to today, who help our whole nation to be reminded. Because now we are kind of not in the AIDS era anymore. Now we say, after COVID. You know, we relate to things. And yet, you've only got to open up your map and you find out, the [00:28:30] world map that is. And you find out that there are still millions and millions of people being infected and dying. Thanks to Burnett Foundation, New Zealand AIDS Foundation of the past. We are fortunate that we are at where we're at, and we have the Foundation and others, Legands, keeping part of that [00:29:00] history of our community in our faces. So once again, thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you to Papa Leggings and those of you who put this together today and I'm here till they kick me out at three o'clock. If anyone wants to ask about any of the quilts, I just didn't have time, unfortunately, to go [00:29:30] one by one through them. Keep the memories alive in your hearts and your living. Thank you. Our next speaker today. [00:30:00] is someone I've spent most of my adult life hearing the name of and met today. The well, one and only Bill Logan. Bill was involved in setting up the AIDS Support Network and the AIDS Foundation and was spokesperson for the Wellington Gay Task Force during the 1985 86 homosexual law reform campaign.[00:30:30] He's been involved in queer politics ever since, now mostly on trans rights. He's a councillor and celebrant, and we will now.. be privileged to share some of the gift that he has been to the community. Tēnā[00:31:00] koutou katoa. Thank you very much, Michael, for that kind introduction. And thank you to the people who've arranged this from all the different organisations coming together. AIDS is a story of love, of death, of pride, of progress. It's a story of tragedy. AIDS ended [00:31:30] many wonderful, good, young lives. Others of us who did not die, even quite resilient people. were left quite scarred by it. But it's also a story which involves some triumph because these were lives which overall made our world a far better place than it otherwise would have been. Peter Cuthbert's quilt, the first of them, is here. He and his partner Daniel [00:32:00] Fielding made a huge impact on the gay community in this city. Arthur's quilt is here. He was a towering figure in this town. Others with quilts here were more private. Uh, they represent the vast population, uh, who were affected by AIDS. People, uh, might call them ordinary. Now that's, that's hardly right. The [00:32:30] quilt. It represents more, though, than the wonderful individuals who have panels here. It depicts a phase in our history. Uh, it represents a generation, uh, of gay men, a generation which was devastated, but which also built the foundation for a far better world than there had been. The story begins for me, uh, as I was coming to terms with Being gay, 40 years [00:33:00] ago, at the very beginning of the 80s, until about that time, until the beginning of the 80s, it was a rare man and an unusually brave man who came out as gay. Those who came out in those earlier years have a hugely important and special place in queer history. The, the 80s though, as the 80s began, homosexuality was still, it was still, [00:33:30] Socially pretty unacceptable, but, and it was still, I suppose, a bar to progress in most careers, but there was, by this time, uh, starting to be an increasing sense of hope among us. Uh, uh, uh, there had been some good partying and some good fun for years, of course. Before, it had been quite discreet. Uh, it had involved considerable fears of being found out. [00:34:00] And it included small numbers of people. But by the beginning of the 80s, things were changing, with much larger numbers of people getting involved, uh, in gay activities. Much less fear, much more hope for a brighter future. I was involved in the Gay Switchboard, which also included some of the young. Gay students on the campus up at the hill, [00:34:30] up the hill here at the, uh, I was a very junior member of the staff there. And we were all reading articles and hearing stories, uh, of this mysterious gay plague in America. And I was asked to facilitate, uh, a meeting, uh, to seriously discuss what it was all about. Perhaps 10 or 12 of us [00:35:00] met in a science seminar room, uh, with a guy from the Department of Health, uh, who had been following these developments, a bloke called Dr. John Clements. Actually, Dr. Clements couldn't tell us very much. Yes, there did seem to be something happening, something involving gay men getting a variety of different cancers and infections and.. Dying rather rapidly, but [00:35:30] nobody really knew what was happening, or even if there was a single underlying cause. He didn't know if it was likely to find its way to New Zealand, and he thought, yes, it was something to be kept an eye on by the health authorities and the medical profession. But we were frightened, uh, but this was, this was a long way away, and we told each other. that it affected only [00:36:00] a very small number of people. As time went on, uh, it became more difficult to ignore. I, for one, however, remained in denial as long as I possibly could. I guess that meeting that we had must have been in 1982, and it really cannot have been so very much later. that the gay community had to start confronting the reality. Uh, what came [00:36:30] to be known as AIDS was on its way here. The science developed, we learned about HIV, the virus which causes AIDS, and we learned that condoms were hugely protective. Bruce Burnett. came back from America and started organizing us, working with Phil Parkinson in Wellington. They approached me and badgered me to get involved. Uh, there [00:37:00] was a dual focus, uh, on prevention and on care for people with AIDS. And we set up the AIDS Support Network, which became the AIDS Foundation, uh, and now has been so appropriately renamed. The Burnett Foundation. This, this was a terrifying time, because we knew so little. AIDS itself was terrifying, but the [00:37:30] homophobic and sexphobic panic which AIDS generated in the community was even more terrifying. And we as a community had to prepare ourselves for what was about to come. We had to prepare our community. And we had to prepare our medical advisors. Phil Parkinson, who is a remarkable man, uh, would give me a regular pile of readings, including from the [00:38:00] New England Medical Journal. And I would take them, uh, to the main gay doctor. In Wellington at the time, John Miller, it was partly to get him to explain them to me, uh, but he was partly to ensure that he was up to speed on the subject. It, it wasn't long before the first guy, uh, with AIDS arrived here right at the moment, uh, that the social panic was moving toward its height.[00:38:30] This guy's name was Gary. He came back home to Wellington from Australia quite ill. His family was freaked out. The media found out. They freaked out. The medical officer of health found out. She freaked out. And, inevitably, many of us were freaked out too. Luckily, Gary, when he arrived in Wellington, immediately rang the gay switchboard. And we were able to do some [00:39:00] calming down. Gary needed a doctor, so I took him to see Dr. John Miller, the doctor I had been reading medical journal articles with. It was Saturday, and we had a cup of tea around John's kitchen table, and I left them to talk. Later, later John rang me, and he confessed, sheepishly, that after Gary had [00:39:30] left, he had boiled the cup. Which he had drunk out of. Now John knew this was silly, but he needed to be sure. The fear of AIDS had led the man who actually knew more about AIDS than almost anyone else in Wellington to become completely irrational in the face of the fear, of that fear. [00:40:00] That irrational fear of AIDS was soon to lead to some of the things that Michael was talking about. Hospitals putting people with AIDS into isolation wards. People with AIDS having to use disposable cutlery. And having medical staff wear sort of space suit costumes. Fears of catching AIDS in a lift or off doorknobs. [00:40:30] Families feared gay sons. This was a period in which it was quite terrifying to have AIDS. Not only were people with AIDS dying very quickly after diagnosis, but they often lived really very difficult lives, cut off from their families and subject to reactions of terrible fear and abuse. We did our best to undercut the [00:41:00] fear and abuse and support people with AIDS to live with dignity and care, but it was a difficult time. This wave of homophobia and AIDS phobia also helped to fuel the 1985 86 campaign against homosexual law reform. Norman Jones, the Member of Parliament leading the campaign against us, spouted some of the nastiest bile that had been heard in New Zealand public [00:41:30] discourse. Thugs on.. street demonstrations wore t shirts with the slogan gay plus gay equals AIDS. If you think about it, it might have been not have been an entirely sane decision to mount a campaign for for homosexual law reform in the midst of an AIDS epidemic. And in the midst of its attendant panic, but just as our opponents claimed that, uh, lifting the criminal sanctions against [00:42:00] gay men would spread HIV and made, we made the point that lifting the criminal sanctions was the only way to encourage people at risk to seek advice. Ultimately, homosexual law reform was not only a matter of human rights, but also a necessary public health measure. So the story of the early stages of the AIDS epidemic in this country [00:42:30] were woven together with the Campaign for Homosexual Law Reform. Tom's story, and Michael talked a little about Tom, uh, is so much a part of that. Tom McLean was a little Scotch freelance journalist and tarot card reader who hung out in the Gay Community Centre in Bullcott Street, which was the headquarters of the Gay Task Force. Uh, it seems as I look back that that winter of [00:43:00] 1985 was unusually bleak and cold. But perhaps it was the social and political atmosphere that saved my memory of the weather. The fundamentalists were collecting for their petition and people were signing it. Uh, in churches and schools and even mental hospitals. There was pressure to sign, and people signed with great gusto, some of them many times. It was the largest petition [00:43:30] ever in the history of New Zealand. It was highly funded, massive campaign. There was no way we could match it. But Tommy did what Tommy could, and Tommy was out on Lambton Quay. Lunchtime, after lunchtime, after bitterly cold lunchtime. He'd come back and thaw out in front of our heater in the gay community centre. And he'd cough a lot. And we were worried about him. And we [00:44:00] encouraged him to go and see Dr. John. He had a test, and he had HIV. Tom's main income was from tarot card reading in a market that was just across the road here on the corner of Cable Street and Taranaki Street. The owner of that market learnt that Tommy had AIDS and kicked him out of his store. Well, we had a meeting with the owner and told him that we thought we could put the market out of [00:44:30] business if he failed to reverse that decision. We thought we could attract a few people to a demonstration or two outside his market. The market owner said it was all a big mistake and misunderstanding and Tom was welcomed back. The story of Paul Noble and Philip Bailey, whose quilts are here, is another story of where AIDS and homosexual law [00:45:00] reform intersect. Uh, Paul and Philip, uh, were a beautiful, athletic couple. Uh, they'd been a hairdressing salon in Cube Street. Philip the hairdresser. I met them when they rang me up very early in the homosexual law reform campaign, before Fran Wild's bill had been introduced. But, we already knew [00:45:30] that there were going to be important moves. At that time, there were not many people who were in a position to take roles as public representatives for our cause. Many felt too young or inexperienced. Others had jobs to lose. I was a Marxist revolutionary in my early thirties with a little bit of experience speaking and no professional prospects. So I ended up on television. My first experience on television was [00:46:00] pretty terrifying. Uh, it was in many respects the central event of my coming out. Uh, and um, I've been asked to respond to a statement against homosexual law reform by the local cardinal. Anyway, an hour or two after this interview went to air, and just after a call I got from my puritanical maiden aunt, Philip, the hairdresser, rang me. He started off by [00:46:30] thanking me for doing the interview. and for representing the gay community. Then he went on and said very, very sternly that I should not ever go on television again without getting my hair checked by him or Paul and trimmed if necessary. So I got, I got to know Philip and Paul quite well. Uh, they would actually ring me up every few weeks for me to come in and get my hair.[00:47:00] The highest point of the campaign of homophobia and AIDS phobia, uh, that, uh, we experienced was what we called the Nuremberg Rally, outside parliament on the 24th of September, 1985. This was, and let me see if I can get a picture of it. Ah, here it is. Uh, this was a highly staged event, uh, [00:47:30] organized by the Coalition of Concerned Citizens to present the anti gay petition, uh, the homophobes had been working on. They rallied under the slogan for God, for country, for family. It was really a pretty fearsome thing. Several of the people commemorated in the quilts. played an active role, uh, on that day, uh, jumping the [00:48:00] barriers. One of them, a lovely friend and activist and artist, Neil Costello, uh, who designed some of the most effective posters of our campaign. And they were Paul and Philip. Uh, and as you can see, they were arrested. That's Paul at the back and Philip in the front. And there's another photo, which I'm rather fond of.[00:48:30] Those two photos were taken by Kevin Green. With the Nuremberg Rally, the homophobes had overplayed their hand. Middle New Zealand didn't like it. And the tide shifted in our direction. This was a time of massive conversation in families and workplaces, in sports clubs and bars. [00:49:00] People discovered that they had gay relatives and gay friends. They learned about AIDS and HIV. They're all willing of hearts and minds. There's a sea change in our favor. And within less than a year, the first Major step in homosexual law reform got through parliament with the decriminalization of male homosexuality. And the way was prepared for the later changes. Later that year, Paul and Philip went to the Gay [00:49:30] Grames in San Francisco. I think they both won medals. Philip was a diver. Paul got a medal for the shot put. In those times, there were some good parties. But the virus continued. Friends died. Tommy was writing a book, If I Should Die. It was about his life with AIDS. He became very ill. He finished his book [00:50:00] and it was sent to the publishers. What he wanted was to live long enough to see his book published and to die at home. A group gathered to support him living at home. Some friends, some volunteers, lesbians, Christians. Well, his book was published, and he was there when it was launched by the, uh, then Minister of Health, a very young Helen Clark.[00:50:30] And then, Tom died very peacefully at home, very early in the morning, three days later. As Tom instructed, There were no bagpipes at his funeral, and the group who look after Tom met again to make the quilt that you see here, and that's over there. There were lots of groups caring for people dying of AIDS around the country. Groups with few other connections [00:51:00] among themselves except through the person who was dying. Caring for someone who is dying can be a profound collective experience. For a time, making a quilt was one of the grieving rituals that we had that helped us adjust to ending what we had experienced. I don't remember the names of the people who are in this picture. The older woman was Honor, I think. Honor Lee, [00:51:30] if I'm not mistaken, a Christian woman from Northland. But they are representative of the much larger group around Tom and that team is representative of many teams around the country. And the virus went on, with friends dying around us. Philip died, Paul died. There were four Wellington guys I knew well. who flattered together in Sydney. Sweet, generous, clever, lively young [00:52:00] men. They had some great times. On visits to Sydney, I stayed with them twice. Jerome, my partner back then, and I did Mardi Gras together one year with them. A magical time. Three of those guys died in the 80s or early 90s. The fourth was so shattered that, uh, he became almost a hermit. I made a list of names I can remember [00:52:30] who died of AIDS. 45 names I can remember. The people who should be together with me in our rocking chairs are just not around. But they lived. They partied. And they made a better world. [00:53:00] So I want to introduce Will B. Ings now. Um, he, uh, he was expelled from Te Awa Mutu College for being gay in the 1970s. As an activist, he was heavily involved in the 1980s and 90s homosexual rights campaigns, during which time he was arrested multiple times. And he's currently a professor of narrative design. A filmmaker and an author. [00:53:30] Pleased to welcome my friend, Will Beings, up here. Okay. Kia ora mai tatou. Na mihi nui aku pia kotou katoa. E na mana, e na reo, e na mate, e na whanau aotearoa. Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa. E te pepeha ko, [00:54:00] um, um, um, Maungutauturi, te maunga ko Arapuni, Um, I'm very humbled. You know, I, I got here a bit early and I walked in. I thought I was, they flew me down on Flash airplane Lin, and, um, I thought I'll be [00:54:30] cool. And I, I walked in and my mate's quilt was over there and I wasn't. All right. And I think, um, uh, Let me tell you about this, the tap room was a shithole. The tap room was a, a little pub, uh, in Auckland. And I was, uh, I was up north, and I came down, so I'd come off a farm. And that's where [00:55:00] I met Ian. So, um, as a, as a rural gay man, I didn't really fit in very well into, I didn't feel I fitted in very well in the gay world. And, uh, To show how naïve I was when I went in, the smell of emul We used emul nitrate on the farm to, when we were, um, hunting possums, when we were killing possums, because you use cyanide paste and if you breathed it in, you had to race the heart to get yourself a little toxic, this was before Osh, and, [00:55:30] um, and, uh, and I went in and I just sort of smelled like And that's not the good, that's not how you start a conversation in a gay pub, it really isn't. But here's this guy, and I looked down on his pants, and he had a mud line just up, which would have come from wearing gumboots. And I asked him how the milk fever was, and he knew what it was, and he's the first man I ever fell in love with. with [00:56:00] and uh, he wore brushed cotton pajamas to bed and he gave me a poem for my birthday and my politics turned on its head because I had fallen in love and um, I still miss him. I still miss him. So I wasn't going to make quilts. I thought it was for, you know, I thought it was a whole lot of kind of public grieving and I'm quite a private [00:56:30] man. But, um, we, we lived on a, a, a farm, he was a farm worker, and I used to, you know, I had another job, but I was working on the farm with him, and, and, uh, the quilt I made for him was, so I can't sew, I'm crap at it, and, um, so I, but I could paint, so I painted a, a portrait of him, and, um, Around the edge you'll see over there is the tow rope we used for our tractor to pull the car through the mud. And, um, [00:57:00] that's baling quine, that blue, that's baling quine around the edge of it. And those are four views of four seasons out our windows, um, of our house. Um, It's something that a lot of people don't realize is the proportion, the size of the quilt is the size of a burial plot, and, um, Some things, you know, listening, listening to both of you, and, um, remembering some things that have faded.[00:57:30] I, I remember, um, taking a, uh, a friend in the back of my Land Rover, trying to find an undertaker who would.. Who prepare his body. We couldn't find anybody. You know, and um, there's a, there's an invisible part to these quilts. Beyond the love and commemoration, there are invisible things. Um, [00:58:00] and um, Kevin, sorry, Ian, we'll see in a moment why Kevin comes up. Ian, um, when he gave me this birthday present, which was a poem, which is not what you give a pookie out to a farm kid, you know, but um, I'll put it on his desk. Quilt, and um, it's from a poem by Yates, it's a poem by Yates, and the old name is [00:58:30] Arrech, which is for the cloths of heaven. Arrech is a, an obscure Irish god of death, but also of fire. And um, it's faded now, you can't even read it. I've always thought this is what the quilts were, that they were a gesture of love. It said, um, had I the heavens embroidered cloth in raw silk? [00:59:00] and silver light, the blue and the dim and the dark cloths of night and light and half light. Well, I would lay those cloths under your feet, but I, being poor, I have only my dreams. I have spread my dreams under your feet. Tread softly, [00:59:30] because you tread on my dreams. Referred to the laying out of these quilts, they normally lie on the ground. And people walk past them. And I can never get out of my mind that they are dreams. They are the things that go, reach beyond words. They are the grief and love and joy and hope and pain. And we don't walk on them, [01:00:00] we walk past them. So, um, the quilt was a hard thing for me to make. Because I'm not a public person and, um, uh, grief for me is something that happens when you hold your pillow in bed at night and go to sleep. Um, but I, I realized that our, our men's lives [01:00:30] were going to disappear because we had lived a history of being erased and for so long as we remain invisible, we remain vulnerable. Boy, um, I undertook to make a quilt, but then, as I said, I'm crap at sewing, so, um, I, um, went to a workshop, these things were amazing, they were, like, nobody tells a drag queen [01:01:00] how to sew, so, and they had pinched most of the fabric for their quilts, you know, but, and, but there were mums and sisters. And, um, friends, this was a collection of a whole spectrum of people, and they would help you. And I saw that intersection between love and grief. And it was a community that had been brought together by [01:01:30] somebody who was no longer here. And mums became mums of all of us who'd been thrown out of home. They became loyal. We became the new sons and they became our moms and our sisters. And even within our community, which is not a single thing, it's hugely divided. It was, then it still is. Bridges were made between those things because of love. And, um, you know, [01:02:00] Michael talked about something that we're, we're, we're team still sends a shiver down my spine. So this was the AIDS ward and we were getting our men out of there as fast as we could over to the hospice and do a voice. road because nurses could refuse to treat, they could refuse to treat you. And it was so stigmatizing. It was such a terrible thing. And, um, and we were trying to find homes because [01:02:30] in the end, it doesn't matter how much love you have in your heart. You can't nurse someone at the end. You can't, you're holding a body in the shower and they can't stand up and you can no longer, no matter how much you love, you can't, you can't do it anymore. You have to have help. You're fucking not going for help at Ward B, you know, at Ward 10. You, you, you go and find people in your ward of [01:03:00] wider family. And I don't just mean queer people, I mean the people who love and support us. And those hospices were amazing places. And, um, um, and to give an example of this, of how toxic the other side was. I was teaching woodwork, um, at the time I made this, this quilt. And, um, uh, we had, uh, the, the, the enjoy around us. My age was really high, and, um, these guys knew I [01:03:30] was gay, like I was out, but they still kind of told the joke at the meeting about what's age, it's an arse injected death sentence. There was this stuff that was considered funny at the time, and you sit there scowling at them, and they go, just a joke. But I always remember the, um, cause I hadn't heard the example you gave, but I'd been having a cup of tea, and, uh, I took my cup out to the kitchen, and, uh, Came back [01:04:00] and then I thought, oh shit, I didn't clean it. I just left it out there. So I went out and they were scouring it out with jiff, you know. And you, you, you, the thing is in the moment, you just have to be strong. There's no room to be weak, but it kind of is cumulative. I think of myself as a strong man, but I can't watch movies around AIDS. I [01:04:30] can't, I can't do it. It's just one of the few things, and I, it's hard to come in here and see. The man we love, on a quilt that's cracked, now and, anyway, um, so you know, you throw yourself into protest, and um, and at the time one of the things that we forget is that many of these people [01:05:00] are vibrant, living, powerful people who help move our society to a better place. I'm working on a, a documentary at the moment about the, the period of the law reform, and looking back through archives and going, oh god, he was dead within two years. All these people who helped shape this world, where we can sit in the National Museum and talk from our heart with each other, the pictures that we have of them, [01:05:30] they're the residue of something that had a terrible cost. And um, so I'll just leave with this. My second partner also died of AIDS in 1998, and uh, Kevin held the national title in the triple jump in New Zealand, and uh, he, I made that quilt at home, there's no sewing Um, but he, he [01:06:00] used to talk about in, in, in triple jumping, everything in the jump is about the run up. It's about the run up to the edge of it. And he said, this is the hardest run up to the longest jump. And that's what I tried to do with the quilt. To give him, give him the wings to pass over. And in a way to give [01:06:30] us the wings for the generations to come. To pass through. And if we have a Critical facility, so we don't allow disinformation and misinformation to create horrors of things that need common sense and balance. If we don't wind ourselves up on crack, and actually in a time of crisis, we need truth and we need strength, and we need Aroha, [01:07:00] we need what's in this room. So for all the things that are unseen that you do in that capacity, thank you, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.[01:07:30] Thanks again, everyone, for being here today. Um, I'm going to introduce the first of our second group of speakers today. Um, we're very, uh, honored to have Jane running here. Jane has been the National Coordinator for Positive Women, um, for 19 years. She has a Master's in Social Practice with her thesis being on stigma of women living with HIV. Jane was the Asia Pacific Delegate on the UNAIDS Coordinating Board. for three years, and [01:08:00] in 2017, um, was made Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit in the Queen's Birthday Honours for her work with women and HIV in Aotearoa. Um, Jane is going to speak now, and she will introduce two speakers from the, uh, Positive Speakers Bureau, uh, after her, and then we'll have one more. And we'll wrap up. Thank you. Applause I'm so glad we had that break because I'm still kind of settling from [01:08:30] some amazing speakers. So it just really takes you back. Um, as you've heard, I'm the National Coordinator for Positive Women. Um, The organization started in the late, um, eighties, early nineties, um, when women started to be diagnosed with HIV. One of our founding members, um, was a queer woman and, um, you know, uh, there are no diagnosis of [01:09:00] HIV transmission between women and women in New Zealand, so it's actually one of the sort of safest relationships one can have. However, there's other ways that people can get HIV and, um, our member got I contracted HIV through sharing, injecting drug equipment. She's no longer with us. Um, she passed away with AIDS, along with many of the other founding members. Um, but we still have a [01:09:30] few of those founding members with them, with us. And while I was not a founding member, um, I was diagnosed with, um, HIV in 1988. And, um, so I've been living with HIV for 35 years. And been very, very lucky to have made it through those years. My experience was a little bit different. I was living in Africa at the time. And it was very much a heterosexual plague there. [01:10:00] Um, and a lot of poverty and a lot of dying and a lot of deaths. So, while it was different, it was also similar. One of the things that, you know, the reasons why I'm still here anyway is because of the medications. And, um, in 96, uh, science came, broke through and we've got some amazing medications nowadays. And these [01:10:30] medications, what they do is they actually reduce the virus. So that it comes to what scientists call an undetectable viral load. So that it's sitting there almost dormant. And what that means is that it's not affecting the person's body. So the person's immune system is doing great and they can live well. Also what it does is stops transmission of HIV as well. So people with HIV now can have unprotected sex without a condom [01:11:00] and not pass that on. They can have children and not pass HIV on to their children. And this is a huge breakthrough. I think it's something that a lot of people don't understand. They know there's medications and that, you know, people are living, but they don't really understand the further implications of that. So science has really gone a long way. But the biggest barrier that we still have is stigma. And stigma, [01:11:30] even in this day, you know, considering it's been 40 years of HIV, it hasn't moved very much. And what is it? Stigma. What is it? It comes from fear, it comes from ignorance. But mostly it's usually people's moral judgments. And because HIV is sexually transmitted, it's so much easier to have moral judgments around that. Um, and so, it's very hard. What, what [01:12:00] happens then for when someone contracts HIV and is that all of that societal connotations, you know, you're bad, there's something wrong with you because you've got age, you must.. AIDS, you must be promiscuous, you're gay, you're a drug user, sex worker, all of these things. What happens then to the person living with HIV is that they take that on board. And I recall very strongly, um, when I was [01:12:30] diagnosed with AIDS, was in those days, I was always the only woman. Wherever I went, I moved back to England not long after I was diagnosed. And everywhere I went, I was the only woman. All the support networks were gay men, which were great because it had someone to talk to. But I kept thinking to myself, there must be something really bad about me because I'm the only woman with this. And, um, And I left my partner and came back to New Zealand in, [01:13:00] um, 94. And I came back because I thought I was going to die, because that's what I was told. And I had a ten year old son and I wanted to introduce him to my family. So that when I died, he'd have somewhere to, somewhere to be. Um, but I also made a conscious decision that I would not get into another relationship. Firstly because I was going to die. But then when I realized I wasn't going to die, I kept thinking. Who's gonna want this? You know, it's like, I'm dirty. Um, [01:13:30] I don't feel sexy. I didn't, I stopped dancing because I felt that dancing was being sexy and I didn't want to be sexy. So it tore away at my own self esteem. And I'm not unusual in this. This is quite common for all people living with HIV. And so, what we call that is an internalized stigma, so that the person, you live with it within yourself, and you actually, you, you believe all of the societal accusations, and you, you [01:14:00] become that as well, and you, you feel bad about yourself. And often, um, people living with HIV will go through depression. Um, it's very common, um, for people living with HIV to go through depression. So then we have, that's the internalized stigma that happens. So you've got the societal stigma and then you've got this internalized stigma that you're living with. But then if you add on to that, you're living with HIV and you're gay. [01:14:30] Gay has its own stigma in society. Living with HIV and I'm a drug user. Drug using also has stigma. I'm a sex worker. I'm a person who contracted it through just having sex. You're promiscuous. So, for someone who then, say, has HIV, is gay, has, is a sex worker, and uses drugs, we have these layers and layers and layers [01:15:00] of stigma that that person has to deal with. content with. Again, we get, the biggest reaction to that is usually, um, you know, people feel ostracized, they feel alone, they feel lonely, they keep, keep the secret to themselves. It becomes a secret. I myself kept HIV a secret except to my closest family for 17 years. Um, it's only when I started working for Positive Women that I actually came out, so to speak. It was the [01:15:30] biggest relief, actually. Holding those secrets is often what is the biggest burden to us. I think being out and being proud and living who we are has its advantages and it really does help with the mental health. So, just, um, I'm probably going to leave it with that because I just really wanted to highlight that, yes, okay, it's fine. You know, I've been living with HIV for 35 years, you know, [01:16:00] I've got a few side effects from the drugs, and I'm getting old and grey, which I hate, and wrinkled, but, um, besides that, there's still a whole lot of other stuff that sits with people. Getting an HIV diagnosis today, even though the person knows they're going to go on medication and they're not going to die, is still a traumatic experience for that person, and it needs care, and it needs counselling, and it needs.. And so I guess I just want to put out, I'm sure I'm speaking to the [01:16:30] converted here, but please just, you know, help with that stigma, the fight against stigma. And the best way to remove that is to talk about it, to talk about HIV, to educate people, so people are not ignorant. Thank you for that. Um, I'm gonna next, um, part of what Positive Women does is we actually train up people living with HIV to go out and speak to the community. And, um, [01:17:00] so, you know, we really believe in, um, nothing about us without us. And we believe that people living with HIV should be in the forefront of educating the community. And it's also empowering for people who live with HIV to actually be the people that can go out and speak. And so, um, the next two speakers that are coming up to speak are from the Positive Speakers Bureau. And so I'd just like to introduce Kel, who's about to come up. And Kel's gonna tell I'm not going to say much more because I think [01:17:30] Kel can introduce herself. But, big welcome for Kel. Thank you. Applause God, it is bright up here. I should have put suntan lotion on. Hi, my name is Kel. Uh, my pronouns are Um, and I've been living with HIV for 15 years. [01:18:00] Uh, I live in a country too, so I'm another country girl. Um, so I was pretty ignorant when I was diagnosed. I didn't know. Uh, much about it. I wasn't in the gay community, so there was no education in the hetero community except for the, the cruel jokes, like people say, you know, about gay people. So, [01:18:30] uh, when I contracted HIV, I did so, so my partner and I, my boyfriend and I could lose the condom. Um, uh, it was my first STI. Um, sexually transmitted disease, and yeah, it's the worst. Um, so, I spent a lot of, a lot of days in a drunken stupor, not really [01:19:00] feeling like it was my fault, but feeling like I was cursed. You know, there was, um, you know, all the, all the small minded.. Uh, feeling that comes with living in a place like Upper Hutt. Um, you know, the Akataro is in a rural place there, so not, not really in the city. And, uh, I, I didn't [01:19:30] do too well for, for quite a few years, um, with the drink and drugs. And, you know, put myself to sleep with a bottle. Should have just done that. It would be less, uh, damaging. Um, so, I, um. I got to a really, really low point. The doctors said, well, you'll make old bones. You know, the medication is, is great [01:20:00] nowadays, you know. But I felt like death. And I thought they were telling me, you know, like the placebo effect. Um, and I got sicker and sicker and.. Yeah, it was harder and harder to hide it. My, my, my dad had an accident and he had PTSD at that stage. And both of my brothers were going through nasty divorces. And [01:20:30] so I kept it secret. Uh, you know, my, my mum felt very betrayed seven years later when, when I did tell her. But, um. Yeah, it was a bad place to go, you know, like, I call it the sick sheep syndrome, where we know we're sick, so we hide away from society, and, uh, so it all came to a head, and, uh, [01:21:00] and one day I started pissing blood. You know, and being, being a trans woman by then, you know, I, I hoped it was my period, but, um, my kidneys had failed, and, uh, that was why I felt like I was gonna die, so, so I've come, I've come right from that, um, and I realized how ignorant I was once I did join, um, um, um, [01:21:30] You know, the positive bureaus and the, um, the AIDS Foundation for counselling. Um, yeah, and I started to come out of my chrysalis, so to speak. You know, I've been transgender for 20 years. Um, uh, And in that time, I was, um, you know, super introverted, I wouldn't look at anyone, and I'd wear a cap, [01:22:00] and wear black clothes, and yeah, yeah, I didn't have a friend in the world. Um, but, but through the help of the, what then, the AIDS Foundation, I, I, You know, became a colourful person. I feel like I might be a bit too colourful today. But, you know. Um, so through the counselling, I [01:22:30] began to get the feeling that I was quite fortunate. I didn't have to pay, you know, 200 an hour for a counsellor. You know, because I had HIV. I got, I got counselling. So it's a good thing. Uh, then another good thing. Was that I had peers finally, um, you know, and, and we had a little support group where, you know, we have learned to be honest about our own [01:23:00] stuff. It, it became a real asset to learn. Learn about myself to, to grow within myself, um, and so yeah, I had therapy friends. Uh, it wasn't until my, my, um, well, my, my counselor who became a good friend, Brenda Little, um, put me onto a support [01:23:30] system, um, being transgender. I didn't get, uh, the support that males or females got. Um, so, yeah, I got to the Positive Speakers Bureau and I met the esteemed Jane Bruning. She's a lovely, lovely lady. And, and a very brilliant man, Jonathan Smith. And, and I, you know, proceeded to learn how to [01:24:00] speak with 14 other people. And during, during that time, I, uh, I found out that I had peers, and I had people who thought like me, you know, I thought there must have been a country overseas where people were tall and blonde and effeminate, and I'd fit in there. Um, but yeah, it turned out I had a female brain, [01:24:30] and I, um, I found some really good lifelong friends. One sitting hunched up in the front, obviously feeling my emotion, Heather. Um, and when she was diagnosed, she had about, um, you know, like, I've got a CD4 count of 1, 300, and that's your fighter cells. She had a, she had a CD4 count of HIV.[01:25:00] AIDS is still out there, but in New Zealand now, there aren't people dying of AIDS, touch wood, and um, you know, so, to, to, um, to show that we are changing, then, I, I love that the, the Burnett Foundation changed to take AIDS out of their name. Because, you [01:25:30] know, that's, uh, that's what people have in their heads. That's what people think of when they hear AIDS, is sick people, and like you've seen before, before me, you know, it's a bit daunting to speak here with all these.. People, peers that I've known for the years that I've been in the industry and finally see them face to face. Very daunting, but I'm, I'm pleased to be here and I'm [01:26:00] pleased to be speaking, uh, for a pride event. So it has a double meaning for me, you know, that I'm now proud. to have HIV. I'm not that little, uh, skinhead from Abaha. I, you know, I've become, become a true person. Uh, it brought, uh, you know, even with someone [01:26:30] diagnosed when the drugs had improved, I, I still have a few. Uh, side effects and life changing side effects. Um, uh, so I started to feel awful again, um, over the last four, five years. And, um, yeah, I have heart troubles now, so I nearly died at the HIV retreat, which I'm very [01:27:00] fortunate to be able to go to in, in Auckland, where there's.. 40 odd women, uh, all giving each other support, and yeah, the steps there, um, we're, we're making my heart play out, um, uh, right heart dysplasia is what I've got, and, you know, I think I'll live a long time, but it [01:27:30] makes it more important to get my message out, you know. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only trans woman. In New Zealand who's out about their status. Um, so being out about your status is, is a good way to be alone for the rest of your life. So I haven't chosen to be alone, sorry. [01:28:00] Uh, but what makes it livable is, is having friends and, and learning, you know, to, to be more honest with myself and more honest with people I love And, hmm. Thank God, because I come from an English family, and in our family, you do not speak about feelings. You know, everything is about the birds and the bees and the light, [01:28:30] fluffy conversations. So, you know, even though I've told my parents, we haven't had any quarrel about it. I don't think they're that, you know, they have read books and things, but, yeah, it was up to me. And, uh, I think I'm doing pretty well. So, thank you all for hearing me speak. I've been dying to press these buttons, but I didn't, so. Cheers. And now,[01:29:00] now if I could, now if I could call up Jeremy Naylor, who is another of my good friends. Thanks. Kia ora tātou.[01:29:30] Jeremy. Hi everybody. I'm Jeremy, and I am a 40 year old, a 40 year old queer male living [01:30:00] in Wellington. Sorry, living with H I V in Wellington. Firstly, I would like to. I have passed away from HIV or AIDS related illnesses. I am grateful to both Michael Bancroft and Te Papa for keeping the AIDS court [01:30:30] safe for future generations. Kia ora. I would also like to acknowledge the support that I have received from the following organisations. Wellington Hospital, probably now known as Te Whātua Ora. Buddy Positive, New Zealand AIDS Foundation, now known as the Bennett Foundation, and the Positive Speakers Bureau.[01:31:00] All of the organisations I have just mentioned, whether they realise it or not, have given me the strength to be here today, so thank you to them. There is hope. In July 2008, a friend [01:31:30] suggested I get an HIV test, so I did. I was diagnosed as being H I I V positive. I took the news of my diagnosis pretty well. I wasn't stressed about it, which is probably because I'm a pretty happy person most of the time.[01:32:00] When I was first diagnosed, I felt shameful, stupid and angry. I was surprised because I didn't have any symptoms at the time, but, Those of us who are positive know that you can have HIV without having symptoms. Symptoms like COVID. You can have COVID but [01:32:30] also have COVID without knowing. That's why testing is absolutely essential. I knew a reasonable amount about HIV and I thought I'd never catch it. How wrong was I? I was infected by, uh, with HIV by a high profile [01:33:00] person. who was in the media at the time. Shortly after my diagnosis, I started taking medication. And as Kel, who spoke before me, rightly said, it is the medication that I've got to thank for me still being here on this earth today.[01:33:30] I take it every day. The first medication that I was on was horrible. It gave me two side effects. They were tiredness or fatigue. The tiredness was.. Easy to deal with. I took my meds just before I went to bed. Easy. The other [01:34:00] side effect that I have had, and still do have to this day, thankfully not as much as I've had it in the past. It's probably not that nice to talk about in public, so you probably don't want me to talk about it, so I won't. A certain word that starts with D.[01:34:30] I think I've said enough about that. I have experienced stigma because of my HIV status. A few years ago I was in Auckland for work. I found a guy online and we agreed to have some fun with each other at his place.[01:35:00] He was going to do a certain act on me. However, he insisted on me wearing a condom. Even though HIV transmission via Rf6 is low risk, actually best as, because I've got what's called a, in science, what science calls a, [01:35:30] an undetectable viral load, it's extremely low risk, I repeat, it is extremely low risk. By the way, the person that, the person who infected me with HIV committed suicide while he was in prison. Because I take my medication [01:36:00] every day. I can live a full, a fully normal and long life, as long as any other healthy person. HIV does not define me. It is a small part of me, of my life. There is hope, because he isn't here to haunt me anymore.[01:36:30] Also, two other reasons, because the medication is better than it used to be, and also because I'm part of a Peer support group. We meet once a month. They are a huge help to me. I repeat, there is hope.[01:37:00] Sorry, I'm going against protocol here, but I just wanted to acknowledge that this is the first time that Jeremy has ever spoken publicly. So, that was huge.[01:37:30] Before I introduce our last speaker for today, I just want to want to acknowledge all of you who have spoken today and shared your stories and um, Taking the time to be here and be so generous with us and the display is going to remain open till three o'clock And once again, I just want to point out the resources on the first side of the room amazing [01:38:00] publications and The positive speakers Bureau has some amazing resources on their website as well, which you can find linked over there, too and Chanel is going to be our last speaker for today, so I'll just introduce her and then Then we're finishing up So thanks again for coming along. Chanel Hathi is of Ngati Hine and Ngati Tuwharetoa descent. She has worked for NZPC, the New Zealand Sex Workers Collective, for many years. This organisation was founded in the late [01:38:30] 1980s and advocates for the rights, health, safety and well being for all sex workers since the era of AIDS and has continued to do so. NZPC works along organisations such as the Burnett Foundation. The DHDP needle exchange, sexual health, family planning, and many more. Um, Chanel is also part of the Te Whanau Whanau group that supports rambler groups in other special events such as Pride. And some of the Te Whanau Whanau group is here today too. So, [01:39:00] welcome Chanel.[01:39:30] [01:40:00] [01:40:30] [01:41:00] [01:41:30] You're right that. Rock, uh, first of all, uh,[01:42:00] so my first acknowledgement is to the Higher power ua, my acknowledgement to the Sacred House, my third acknowledgement. Kia koutou katoa, kua tā mana i tēnei wā, um, ki te tautoko te kaupapa tino whakahirahira. So to all of you who have gathered here today to support this very, very [01:42:30] important agenda. E mihi aroha hoki ki ngā.. Tini mate, kua wehi ki te pua, haere, haere, haere atira. To those who have passed on, into the night, farewell. And you will always be remembered. So, good afternoon everybody. Um, my name's Chanel and I, I'm one of the community liaisons for the New Zealand Prostitutes Collective. [01:43:00] And um, oh my gosh. I go back, I remember those times, you know, cause I go back, oh gosh, 80's, 70's, and I remember, I remember all those times, I remember, I remember the, the, um, I remember the stigma and I remember the discrimination against, um, um, um, [01:43:30] against, uh, people with, um, with, with AIDS. And actually, to tell you that, you know, when, um, a disaster comes, an unknown disaster, and it just sweeps along across the world, people will, um, lives will be taken. And lives will continue to be taken until something is found. You know, because in those days there were no [01:44:00] preventative medicines. Um.. Just hope, really. And I stand here today to, um, And actually, really, this is, meetings like this and are really healthy because they are for the young people who weren't there to understand this dark time in our history. And it wasn't the only one. There was [01:44:30] the Stonewall, but the difference between that one And this one is that, that one was about rights, this one was about life. And that's the big difference between, between the both of them. And it became, and people with um, um, HIV and AIDS became the new lepers. of the century. Stigmatized. Marginalized. And on top of that, they were already marginalized, you [01:45:00] know, and stigmatized, so it was like a double shot. The organization that I work for, we all started, we all grew up with the DHDP, with Bill Logan and, and then, and, and, and the Afena Center, which is what it was known as back then, which is the beginning of the AIDS Foundation. So out of the dust of that war, um, you know, it's a call to arms, you know, to, to, to create these organizations. And um, [01:45:30] the DHDP for those intervenors, the, the, the, the needle, um, people who use needles, our organization for sex workers, you know, and of course for our, our community. And it's really important, you know, these organizations come together because all these groups within these groups, all the people are marginalized people, you know, and they need that help. And this was the call to arms. And, and [01:46:00] when we started in the 1980s, the um, Prostitutes Collective, it was because Um, Catherine, Dame Catherine, um, the wonderful Dame Catherine, it was because, it was because HIV and AIDS had come to the attention of the world, sex workers needed to be informed about things like safe sex practices, and all those kind of things. And, um, when we started our office in Cuba Street, the DHDP, or [01:46:30] it was called WIDE then, Was across the road, and we actually shared, I think we shared the same office. And so, like, we were like teenagers and we all grew up together and we're still here. And for all those young people, you know, that, that, that weren't there, these were very, very, these were very, very, um, uh, trying times because, um, of the stigma. Like I said, the stigma, and, and all the groups that use these organisations, you know, and um, oh, [01:47:00] it was just um, it was just, just, just a difficult time, but um, we can, we can look back from them to today, and um, you know, um, people, sex workers, you know, sex workers, um, um, it's been decriminalised in New Zealand, so you can work freely. Cal was talking about exactly what I thought of when I heard, oh, The Foundation's got a new name, it's called the Purnett Centre. What I thought was exactly what you thought. [01:47:30] Get rid of that ugly word, because things are better. And um, and that, because with our organisation, we are not called the Prostitutes Collective. We keep the word prostitute in because of all that stigma. But we've got it in our initials, but we are now called the Aotearoa New Zealand. Sex Workers Collective because we believe that sex workers work. And, um, it's been decriminalized so people can work. And it's more free. The word sex worker is more free [01:48:00] than the word prostitute. So, I'm really glad that, um, um, the foundation got rid of the word. I mean, it's part of our history. And, um, people live longer. People live longer so there really is no need to keep that in because it was dehumanizing. And I remember one time.. This is what I heard, back in the day that the, um, that stigma had even reached cultural levels. And I heard about a tangi where they had said [01:48:30] that they were thinking, the people on the marae were thinking, we're going to bury that person outside the marae. You don't bury people. outside your marae and you know love is, love is strong and one of the youngest ones said over my dead body are you going to and it's only because they were sick and this is the ignorance of um, of uh, back in those days even, even to a cultural level and it was because of fear as well and that person said over my dead body are you going to [01:49:00] put my family, their whakapapa and their genealogy is sitting right in that graveyard and You are not burying that person outside. And they talked about it and came to the conclusion, Okay, well, you know, alright, alright. But, they shouldn't even have thought about that. Because that was absolutely terrible. And, um, you know, And I remember, And I remember, you know, um, Friends of mine who were trans girls, No one was [01:49:30] immune to this disease. Men, women, trans girls as well, everybody. Michael Jackson wrote a song called, if you've ever heard it, it's called Gone Too Soon. And it was written for a young boy, a 13 year old boy called Ryan, who was HIV positive because of a blood transfusion. And if you ever hear that song, and it's so pretty, and that's what he wrote that song for. So, you know, there was a big price to pay, but I just wanted, I just wanted to, to thank [01:50:00] people who, you know, we are the organisations, we are the organisation, but there are other clogs to that, to that wheel. And, and one of them is right down there, there's um, who keep, who keep these. These, these audio and these visuals, because these young people can hear it from us, but to see it on the screen and to hear it in colour and all its beauty, and there's nothing like it because you can put yourself there and, and, and think. Yeah, yeah, I can feel it. Yeah, and [01:50:30] we're just the storytellers. And I just want the young people to know that, um, you know, you've got it lucky today, but you do have, um, you do have, um, things that need to be fixed. Nothing is ever perfect. Um, and, um, you will find a way. You will find a way. Us who retain those stories, like Te Papa, Te Papa, you know, Te Papa needs to be, he needs such a big thank you because they are our [01:51:00] waka huia, and if any of you in here don't know what a waka huia is, it's a carved Maori treasure box like a, like a, with a lid on it, and that you put your taonga in it, that is a waka huia, but because our people use analogies like that for life, and you know, like the keepers of, of, of our things, this is how a This is how we speak in our language. So, waka, uh, so, uh, that's what a waka huia is. And te papa is, um, yeah, our waka huia. And, um, yeah, and, uh, I just want [01:51:30] to mihi to, um, to all our speakers. Speakers to you, Mr, Mr Logan. Um, where's that gentleman that spoke first? He was great. Yeah, and this lady here. Oh, you were, you were wonderful. I had a tear in my eye when I was listening to you. Yeah, to all our speakers, Cal, nice to see you girl. I always see Cal in places and, um, we pass by each other, but I always make sure that I say hello to her. And to you, you were wonderful. [01:52:00] You were wonderful. So, um, yeah, let's talk about the quilts. The quilts, what are they? They're where people put their love. You know, they were as a, as a, as a, as a memory to those who were somebody's brother. Somebody's father, someone's, someone's, someone's sister, you know, and that's what, that's what these courts are for, that, that there's somebody, it's a memorial and a tribute to, to somebody [01:52:30] who, um, who lost the battle before, you know, any help could come. But, um, we're here today to make sure that, um, these people here. Yeah, and I knew a few of them. One of my friends, um, she was a sister, a queen. If anybody don't know what a queen is, it's an old, it's an old trend, it's an old, um, terminology for trans [01:53:00] girl. And I think it sounds a little bit more dignified. Where are the queens? Oh, they're over there. Yeah. So, um, yeah, and Alexis, and she was wonderful. And, um, when she passed, um, we, uh, created, um, a fund, we called the Alexis Kennedy After Love Trust. And, uh, that was for, um, to help anybody who, uh, who had passed away from HIV that was having problems with their funerals. And, um, now it's called, [01:53:30] um, We now renamed, we renamed it after one of the trans girls who gave us a safe space, a coffee bar called the Evergreen, some of you might have heard of it, for 25 years, and she passed it, passed away, so we called it the Chrissy Wetoko Fund, so, so, so that's what, um, that's for, but you know, um, at the end of the day, within the community, the gay community, we have everything from the beginning to the end, so we have the organisations, the chums. And in between that, you know, the organizations that protect you, and in between that, you [01:54:00] have the married celibates that can marry you and give you a happy life. And then you have the people at the end that can be at your funeral at the end and, you know, from the rainbow. And so it's all, all in there. And I just want to, um, thank, um, um, yeah, yeah, the organizers, Bena, um, Bena, um, Reuben. I mean, I've, I've never met these people, but I was, when they emailed me, I was like, oh, should I do it? Because I'm not a very good speaker, but I'm like. [01:54:30] I'm like, oh stuff, I'm gonna do it. So, so here I am. So here I am, um, and very proud to be part of the Pride. And, you know, and there's just so many people, some I might have forgotten to acknowledge, you know, from the, from the top to the middle, to the bottom, and, and, and once again reiterate that the guy, um, what's his name, um, Peter Duncan, from, somebody put an email that he was coming, I don't know if he's here, but anyway, it's people like that, like I [01:55:00] said before, people like that, people like Gareth Watkins, they sit quietly at the back, and, and, and preserve these, um, these wonderful, these wonderful, sometimes sad, um, parts of our rainbow history, and then we have a big huge house like this one, that takes care of it. So, you know, so everything's all good. And if it's not all good, well, we will find a way as we do within our community and we'll, we'll, we, we would, we, we would [01:55:30] deal with that. And, um, Oh, there's one more thing I just want to say, I just want to acknowledge, um, um, Princess Diana. Cause I really admired her. But I admired her because, um, you know, and, and, it's just a shame that she, she went so, so, so quickly, but, but I just admired her passion and her drive and her love for people who had, um, HIV and AIDS. She, apart from, you know, she cast aside [01:56:00] all the trappings of royalty. But she never broke protocol, and she touched the hands of somebody who had AIDS, and the whole world went, Oh my god, did you see what she did? But she didn't care. She didn't care because she was the quintessential humanitarian. Beautiful, kind, a big heart, you know, up there in the sky, you know, but She could come down here and just be just like everybody else and um, I think that um, Angels [01:56:30] like her probably get taken to heaven because you know, you know, they probably too good for this world anyway And to me, that's what she was She was just just just that kind of person and it was so nice to have at a time of crisis that at that time That somebody so big and you know, so important would come down and say look it's okay, you know and today You know, better medicines, and I hope that, [01:57:00] um, whatever comes next that we will deal with it, um, we will deal with, in order to be another chapter within our, within our stories, like these ones, for you young people, because it'll be your turn, because we're not going to be here forever, but the archives, and the stories, and the recordings, like Gareth, and, and, and documentaries, they will be for the next generation, so all I have to say to conclude everybody is that, um, thinking about all these people [01:57:30] that have passed away, you know, we, we, we must all at the end of the day, remember that they are like stars and the sky and the stars that will never fade as long as we look up and remember. I would just like [01:58:00] to, um, acknowledge this because you, you probably already know about Georgina Bayer. Yeah, Georgina Bayer, and she, that um, you know, who, who, she was a very, very strong campaigner for, for, for AIDS, for AIDS total. She was, she was like, she was, in her real life, when you see her at the podium, like rarrr. That was her, that was that fire that, yeah, and she [01:58:30] meant, and she meant what she said. And, um, yeah, she was such a big supporter for, um, for, for, for, for AIDS and, um, and, and, and, and, and just, just, just, just, she fought for the underdog because she comes from an era, she's a little bit older than me, but we come from the same era where, um, where we know what it's like to be treated. unfairly and to be beaten and, um, and, and stigmatize and, and, and, and, and face discrimination. She knew that [01:59:00] because, um, because us queens, we know what that's like and, um, that fire that she had inside her when you saw that, that was real. And, um, if she had a passion for something, she would fight for it till the end. And, um, Yeah, they named a street after her in Carterton because she was the mayor of Carterton and this is this little, this little straight town of, of wonderful people and they love her and, and I think from what I heard [01:59:30] that they might even have a memorial for her because she went in there and she just And she just and those people in Cardigan just loved her and they didn't even want her to go. Unfortunately, Labor won that year and Helen Clark came in and kind of tempted her into Parliament. Well she broke another record. She became the first transgender MP in history. And she did a really, really good job. You should have seen when she came out for the Destiny Church. Man, she was on fire, she was, she was on fire with the Disney, she goes, it's disgusting and all this [02:00:00] kind of stuff, but I don't know if people know this, she had a fundraiser to, because she was invited to Oxford and London to, to speak. And the only people who have ever been invited to there to speak was David Longing, was our Prime Minister in the 80s, my boss Dame Catherine Healy, and her. And she had a fundraiser down at the Opera House. Guess who was there? Brian Tambachy and his wife. Yeah, we're there, but I didn't go. But, um, I gave my seat to someone else and they went, guess who was there? And I went, who?[02:00:30] I went. Oh, really? So, you know, that was, that was really nice. You know, have a heart come down, you are Maori, you know, come and support and, um, yeah, apparently he was there and I thought, well, that was great. And, um, You know, all I have to say is, um, you know, Georgina is te rangatira. You know, rest in peace. You know, it's um, it's people like Carmen, if you've ever heard of her. She ran for me in 1977, so she paved the way for people like [02:01:00] Georgina Bayer to enter political spaces. So it's the ones that come before that kind of make the pathway for the next generation, because they want it to be easy. So, um, yeah, rest in peace, my sister. You'll, you'll, you'll, you'll never, you'll always have a place in our hearts and in our community and in our country. So, um, thanks everyone. Ka[02:01:30] kite.[02:02:00] [02:02:30] [02:03:00] It [02:03:30] falls to me to have the great honor. I've just a few words, few words of thanks because Chanel, as I sat there, you thank just about everyone that was on the list. We've been honored, myself and the other senior people to speak. [02:04:00] We have been supported by the next generation and over coffee this morning, one of us. said it's thanks to the likes of Benna and Reuben. That means stand up.[02:04:30] And the team of Te Papa. Because we have been part of the early history moving into the present and it'll be you people who'll take things into the future. Keep telling the story. Some of us remembered the way things [02:05:00] began. When you spoke, God, the need to surround people. With support. Jeremy, hope, which is what we need. And during the course of this morning and afternoon, there have been many [02:05:30] references to the New Zealand AIDS Foundation, which we now know as the Burnett Foundation. And I think it's only appropriate to acknowledge that after a busy morning, the current executive director, c e O, whatever name he's given, Joe Rich, please stand so they know who you are is the c e O of the Benet [02:06:00] Foundation. And we thank you through all these years and those who proceeded you. And the support of all of us who live with and support and love those who are part of the journey once again. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.[02:06:30] .
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