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Greetings and welcome everyone to, um, this special event, um, held here in the Lilac Lounge, which is part of our contribution to pride time. Um, it seems to be changing its a length of time, so I'll just call it pride Time, and we [00:00:30] will work it out from there. We will be doing other things, such as next Tuesday. We have the, um, card game set of card games here. And also, of course, um, we will have the, um, stall in the Michael Fowler Centre at the later time. So those are our contributions to to pride and thank you all for coming and being part of that later, I'll talk to you about the raffle, [00:01:00] but not now. Right now, I'd like to introduce our very famous guest, Mia, who will talk to you about what she's done and where she's been. And however else you want to describe it, OK, Thank you, Mia. Thank you, Carol. Thanks, everyone. So, um, thank you, Carol. And thank you, Ellen, for inviting me to to speak here at Lilac Library. A very precious [00:01:30] space and, uh, as part of, um um um my name is Mia and I'm a novelist, and I've written three novels. I'm going to be reading an extract from the last, the latest novel that I've written. Um, So, um, the title of this evening is Are you OK? [00:02:00] Um and that is because, um, while I was doing research for this novel, I was asked that question quite a few times. Are you OK? Um, so, uh, it's going to last for half an hour or a bit less, and I'll be reading a couple of extracts. The first one is about seven minutes, and the next one is half as long. And in between, I'll be, uh, speaking a little bit about how I my my writing process, my, [00:02:30] my, my experience of writing the book. So, um, I've brought along, um, I know that Lilac Library has a copy already, but I So I've brought along the, um, Viking edition of my first novel, Footnotes to Sex. And this is the, um, penguin edition that came out, um, a bit later. Um, footnotes to sex is about, um, if you haven't read it, um, not knowing [00:03:00] what you want to do with your life and idolising someone who does know what she wants to do with her life. It's set in London and Paris. It's a tragic comedy about a, uh, couple in a long term relationship that's going through a tricky patch. Um, partly because one of the women in this, um, couple, um of this couple is so very busy trying to write a PhD on a woman she idolises. So that's footnotes to sex. And, [00:03:30] um, the British broadcaster journalist, um, said something very lovely about it. Um, which I'm going to mention because it does, uh, link in with the, uh, reading I'm going to do this evening. Uh, she says that it is. Seinfeld meets Dorothy Parker over a late night hot drink. And I was so happy when she said that, um, I, uh, Dorothy Parker, Um, I love her writing. Um and, um, it's [00:04:00] but it's also quite apt that she said it just for the If you just think of the themes because my first novel, Footnotes to Sex, is about a flailing relationship, and it's about academic unfulfillment. So it's about people struggling. And Dorothy Parker wrote about people who were struggling. Um, then, um, that said this about my first book was interesting for me because then in my second novel that I've written, um, I'm calling it crossed wires. [00:04:30] And it's about the phenomenon within families of a pariah, a persona non grata, Um, something that really interests me. And it's also a South London parody of chick lit. Um, so it's, um it's again. It's about failed, uh, failed intimacies, which is a sub subject that Dorothy Parker wrote about now. Um, the last. The most recent novel I've written is [00:05:00] called Parallel Hell, and it's about suicide. So, um, here it's even more like Dorothy Parker because Dorothy Parker wrote a lot about suicide. Um, and she, in fact, her first poetry collection is called enough rope. And, um, she wrote, um Oh, actually, see if I can find it? Yeah, the extract. So Dorothy Parker's humour She used it like a razor to slash at things. Um, [00:05:30] and she writes about the pain of being human. So, um, she wrote about suicide. This, um, inside that poetry collection called Enough rope. There's a poem called Resume and the last line is something like, I'm probably going to misquote it, but you may as well live because she lists all the awful things that you could the ways you could try and they're all painful and they're all awful. You may as well live. That's what she says. So I'm now going to read the [00:06:00] first of the two extracts, um, from Parallel Hell. And the only thing you need to know is that it is contemporary, and it's about a suicide obsessed Londoner. MIA READS THE FIRST EXTRACT NOT INCLUDED IN THIS AI TEXT. [00:14:30] So I'm writing Parallel Hell, for me was a really potent experience a very nothing like the first two books, obviously for three reasons. Um, the first one, the subject. So it's about suicide, and it's not only about suicide, it's about the, um, that that point where someone is both suicide, obsessed and bereaved by suicide. So it's a really potent subject to be writing about. And it meant that I had felt a great [00:15:00] sense of freedom writing the book because the subject just took up too much space. It just took up all the space. So I just wrote it. Um, also, um, I just could make an assumption here, perhaps that some of you at least, will have seen live or on Netflix or or perhaps live if you're lucky. I haven't, But, um Hannah Gatsby's Nanette, Um uh, I don't know whether any of you have, but I absolutely loved that show. I've seen it more than [00:15:30] once. And, um, I really related strongly to what she was doing with the humour there. So she was flipping it, subverting it, subverting, uh, using subverted humour about something very serious. So, um, that's the first of the reasons the subject. So there are two other reasons why it was such a, um a such a powerful experience writing this book. And that is where it was set because halfway through, um, writing parallel Hell, I, [00:16:00] um, was able to lucky me, uh, take one year's unpaid leave from my job at South Bank Centre's National Poetry Library. And that was in 2019. And I, um I came here to to Wellington with my partner, um, and because I was living in Wellington and, um I was, um I then made the decision, of course, to have my suicide obsessed [00:16:30] Londoner relocate to her hometown. Um, and, um so that was also it was the first time I'd ever had a character who was born in a in New Zealand, so that was interesting in itself, but then have her move to her hometown. And this is someone who is suicide obsessed. So, um, it's one thing to be in that frame of mind in a huge city and a huge anonymous city which remains anonymous, whether [00:17:00] or not you've been living there for decades, as she had and as I have also, um, and then it's so very different for her to move to her to a small town. But it's also her hometown. Um, and so there are, um, possibilities, which I had, um, for interesting interactions, Um, that she might bump into people from her past. Um, possibly family members, you know that. So there's things that were able to happen there. Um, so that is the other reason. Yeah, So, I mean, I've [00:17:30] got friends in London who, um, like me visit family in their hometown and not necessarily obviously all different places. So someone in north of Scotland is a small place and, you know, have talked to me about what it's like to the challenges of being in that situation, having been in a big city. Um, so that's one thing. Um, and the last reason why, um, it was such a potent experience for me is the way I wrote it, the way I happened to write it. So, um, [00:18:00] when I was here, um, 1019 I got a creative New Zealand grant, and that meant that I was allowed to spend for the first time all my time on the book. Um, so I didn't have a part time job I did to begin with. But then I got the grant. And so I spent a lot of time with my main character, and we wandered around Wellington together. She and I, um, as we had in London, and I do use that expression because that's part of my writing method for this book. So it was as [00:18:30] if I sort of wandered around with her and partly as her. So, um, I took her to, um, everything to do with suicide of course because she was suicide obsessed. So I went to, um, a suicide awareness march, or we went there together. Um, I went to, um, an exhibition on self harm and suicide, Um, as her almost, um, and I, um, and I went to the Wellington public library when it was still open. The big one, [00:19:00] and took out all of the books on suicide. Pretty much, um, uh, that I could find and, uh, for her and, um, also to book to a bookshop for several bookshops. And I write about my experience of doing this in a piece called Are You OK? A writing event. I'm soon going to read. Not that piece, but a different one. but So I went to a bookshop to get books on suicide partly for research, for myself and partly as my main [00:19:30] character, who was going into a bookshop because she wanted to read everything about it and the reaction I had from the people in the bookshop I put into the novel. And, um, I write about that experience in a piece called Are UK Writing Event. That's in Moxie magazine, which I've read out, by the way, if you'd like to hear it read out on, um, Wellington access radio quilted bananas. Um, on the 24th of, um, I was invited to talk then. So, um, I'm now going to read the second, [00:20:00] um, extract, um, which is half as long as the first one. And this one is set here in this country. MIA READS THE SECOND EXTRACT NOT INCLUDED IN THIS AI TEXT [00:29:00] Thank you. And, um So, um, so that was the second, um, part from the second part of, uh, parallel. Hell, um, I, uh, don't have a publication date. Someone's already asked me about that. I wish I did. But when I do, I'll be announcing it on my blog. Non French writers. So if you, um, subscribe to the newsletter, you'd get a newsletter once a month. And within that newsletter, I hope that you will eventually [00:29:30] have an email with me announcing not just videos that I occasionally do or my monthly review. Um, but, uh, that the book has a publication date and then um, anyone who's on the newsletter at that point will, um, will, uh, go into a draw to, um, receive a signed copy in the post. Um, thank you very much for coming here to listen to this. And I would love to have, um, any questions if you do have any. [00:30:00] Yeah. My I I'm getting in first. Um, interesting that you came back to to write something about suicide, given the astronomically dreadful high rate of suicides in this country. Uh, it it's not. It's not linked. It just happens to be [00:30:30] It just happens to be, as you say, True. And, um yeah, just want to come home for a year. No, it was for family reasons. My partner, um, had family reasons, So we came back for that reason, so it Yeah, those conversations sound so believable. Did you ring up and see what they say? Um, I've got, uh, a couple of friends in London. So these are London based who work for the We're not work volunteers for the Samaritans. So I've [00:31:00] asked them How do you generally take questions? They were general questions. I asked them about training, and, um so yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Uh, yes, My mother? Yes. Um, so she had a sneak preview of this evening? Um, I I, um I printed it off because I'm staying at her at the moment, so Yeah, So she Yeah, she hasn't read the book, but she's read this section, [00:31:30] I think, or part of it is New Zealand's major. What does your mother think of this? Well, um, she, um, hasn't read it yet, so, um, she's been complimentary about the little bits that she has read, which is great. Yeah. Why? Why? So why Why did you Yeah, that's that's a good question. Well, I, I [00:32:00] suppose you No. You know, um and it's interesting that the, you know, said that about Dorothy Parker because I didn't know when she said that that I was going to then write about suicide. But, um, I write about what I'm obsessed about, and and, um, and which is what a lot of writers do. This is fiction, but it's I always take a a subject that I'm obsessed about. And, um, Yeah, unfortunately, it's a subject that I became obsessed about. Why, Why? Well, um I think probably the obsession. [00:32:30] Um, I think you have to be obsessed. I'm not sure whether I'm understanding the question, but you have to be obsessed in order to write a book because you're going to be spending at least a year on it or two or even longer. So I do have to be obsessed. Um, uh, yeah. Did trigger it. Um well, did something trigger it? Uh, I think, Yeah, something took of that. Well, you can't really arrive at my age [00:33:00] without knowing people who have been going through those experiences, or, you know, um, have, um, ended their life by suicide or have been, um, uh, having ideas about around suicide. I mean, I even in my teens, I knew people. Yeah, but there's a difference between being suicide obsessed and suicidal. Yes. And do do you think that actually, your [00:33:30] characters, uh, or your character is more suicide obsessed or suicidal? Because, I mean, these sort of phone calls, if someone was really suicidal, could be absolutely catastrophic. Uh, so, um, it's really for the reader to decide what they think as they read the book. Because I'm only giving you tiny things Tiny extracts from the novel. So, um, [00:34:00] she's definitely suicide obsessed. For the rest, you'd have to read the novel to to come to your own conclusion. Yeah. What is your relationship with the character now? Um, if you fare well, um, yeah, and the the novel's finished. So I I have, um I have farewelled her. And in that sense, yeah, I'm not, um I'm not living it. [00:34:30] Yeah, I think that you have. You dealt with the suicide, your own suicide obsession it's finished with Now that you finished the novel, my obsession with suicide, um, on the subject. My my obsession with the subject has not finished. I I'm I'm I'm interested in the subject forever. I read a lot of interesting books, actually, um, about it, um, David Van. I don't know [00:35:00] whether you've read, um, his his, um, writing. Um, but on the moon, which was shortlisted for the, um uh, and and nonfiction. Um, Why? Suicide is a really beautiful, um, short book really helpful by a man whose father ended his life. And, um, he's put out a second edition quite recently, which he he changed where he changed it. Um, yes. I've read some books that I really didn't like I didn't like their tone. [00:35:30] I didn't like their take and other books that I really did. Like, um, I found helpful and useful and interesting, but yeah, I'm not I'm not I'm not an academic, you know, I'm Yeah. And neither is my main character. So, um, I've got another question. If I'm allowed more than one How, um, something that I notice a lot these days that I didn't notice when I was young as as a student is that there's a lot of, um, talk about the high rates of, [00:36:00] uh, what gets called suicidality amongst the LGBT youth and that it's this massive thing that you know, and I'm I'm kind of wondering, Do you have any sort of insights into that or views on that? Because I don't recall that being such a big thing when I was young, I don't remember. You know, it's It's almost as if nowadays, if you're you know, a lesbian, for example, you're supposedly going to have this kind of innate likelihood of being a suicide. [00:36:30] Yeah. Um, did you come across anything like that? And what? I, um, one example and it isn't comes up in the novel um, there's a novelist called, uh, Taiwanese novelist, uh, who died by suicide in the 19 nineties in Paris. And, um, I have mixed feelings about the work, actually, that there. But, um but, uh, so she, uh, was a lesbian, and she went to a school with some girls who were [00:37:00] filmed by someone who went into a lesbian nightclub and filmed them without their knowing it. And, um and that contributed, and I wouldn't say lead to because it's always complex, but contributed anything. That's a hard experience, I suppose. Um, so, um, people treating you badly for because of who you are, um, any reasons that make life more more difficult? Um, but if I could just comment from that, um, 20 [00:37:30] odd years ago or thereabouts and certainly prior to that time, um, suicide was a banned topic. People weren't allowed to write about it in newspapers, talk about it on radio or TV. No, absolutely not. But it was It was absolutely lid tightly on and wrapped [00:38:00] up in a big bundle sort of thing, whereas and then being a lesbian or gay guy or whatever other you know, combinations, one might feel, um, that was also fairly much not spoken about either, you know? And so we had, you know, law Reform. And we had lots more activity around queer rights and so on and so forth. And [00:38:30] still we have the very high suicide rate. It's not that it wasn't necessarily similar back then. It was just that we never got to hear about it. I think so, Yes. Because I wonder about that because what gets reported, I know we're getting a better way of subject and particularly because these things are said about our community these days, and I kind of wonder, you know, they they talk about, um [00:39:00] I think there's a survey called Youth 12 or something that says that you know, LGBT youth, um, have elevated rates of thinking about suicide. So I kind of think Do do we actually have elevated rates of actual suicide? I don't know. Or do we just have young people who say, Oh, I feel so terrible? I think about killing myself. I looked into that question a bit here actually before coming tonight, because I thought, Oh, I really need to be a bit more aware. I mean, I I've been reading a lot [00:39:30] about it, but, um, I couldn't find myself find a clear answer to to, um to that. There are statistics, you know, that there are, you know, uh, what is it? Three. This is why I'm really not good at statistics. That won't help but sort of for every one woman who ends her life. And, uh, there are 33 men who will, you know, there are those sort of statistics, and I don't know the ones for, um, LGBT. Um related. Um, I haven't seen anything reported. All gets reported this elevated level of [00:40:00] suicidal to what's going on. Well, that's it's not to do with age so much. Is it just to do with a group? Um, but, you know, the, um, suicide was illegal in the UK. And here, um, until 1961. Um, whereas now the homosexual law reform bill. Um, when did that happen? Much later. Yeah. I mean, I know I was around, you know, I was [00:40:30] here. I was there. Um, but, um, uh, yeah. So those sorts of it's interesting to know the dates of when things change. Um, I should have given this lesbian. Ah. Um Yes. So you would need to read the book and make the decision for yourself. Um, that's a strange answer, perhaps, but yes. I mean, there is. There are There aren't a lot of lesbian specific references in the in the book. [00:41:00] Um, there is just that novelist and the Taiwanese novelist who turns up. Um, because, of course, uh, this main character is reading everything she can find. Um, yeah. I mean, I know I know you, but can I ask you a question? Why would someone want to read this book? Because it's it's about suicide, And it's not cheerful, but yeah, people read. Why would someone and you if you [00:41:30] Yeah, I mean, I, um, I would have to throw that back to everyone. Why would you want to read this? But I mean, if I was going to answer it, I would I would hope that it would lead to people having more understanding, more empathy. It really is, um, like a deep dive into a suicidal mind. I'm, you know, suicide obsessed, suicidal mind, You know, any anyone, just anyone who's just so in it. Um, so I would hope that it would lead to more empathy if not for the main character, but for the all of the information, [00:42:00] because it's just dense with the subject. But it doesn't romanticise it at all, obviously. But I'll just say that. I mean, that's one of the things that Samaritans don't like you to do. If you're writing a book, you don't romanticise it. But that's the last thing I'll be doing. You you wouldn't even after a page into the book. You're not gonna be thinking anything. You know, it's it's not. You had a question. Sorry. Did you? I thought you did. Oh, you didn't. Sorry. Yeah. Oh, you did. This is a tough question that you might not want to [00:42:30] answer. And you're very welcome not to. But you just said that it's a dive into into the mind of someone who's felt suicidal, which is quite a big thing to say. Suicide obsessed. I might rephrase that. OK, because, um, because it's it's like, Oh, this might help you understand. If you're actually in your mind. Do you feel you felt that serious yourself suicidal? And you don't have to answer that. Um, I. I think I'm lucky enough not to have got to that terrible place. [00:43:00] Um, I know what it is to feel awful. And I think I mean, I That's a fairly bland word, isn't it? But, um um, but, um, you know, I've been in bad places, hard places, and I don't think that's much of a self reveal. Is that the word to say that? Because most people have, right? Yeah. I love that quote from somebody talking to a counsellor on a phone, cos I hadn't [00:43:30] thought that was greeting or would would startle somebody, because I I'm a Kiwi, So I'm so used to it. But I hadn't thought of somebody from another country ringing in. Um, no, actually, she was not startled by the She was startled by the fact that the woman was speaking. Yeah, Yeah, it wasn't that. It was just the fact that suddenly there was someone on the phone. Yeah, [00:44:00] yeah, but that was so true to life, no matter what the topic. Oh, I have started it, and I can't talk about it because I've only written a few 1000 words. So then that's not a good idea. Yeah, it will be growing [00:44:30] as the book goes. Honestly, growing, growing a growing obsession. Um, thank you so much for coming to. Listen to me, everyone. Yeah, and thanks for inviting me, Carol and and Ellen. Thank you. Thank you.
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