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Uh, [00:00:30] to to [00:01:00] or [00:01:30] no or body positive? [00:02:00] Uh uh uh, [00:02:30] In [00:03:00] Yeah. [00:03:30] Yeah. Are and yeah, [00:04:00] yeah. [00:04:30] Mhm that Good afternoon, everybody. How are we this afternoon? Are we good? Good, good. [00:05:00] Thank you to for that beautiful welcome. And welcome to this year's Wellington International AIDS Candlelight Memorial. I am so honoured to be here to host this year's service as we remember those we have lost and the challenge we still face today. Although today might be filled with tears, it does not mean we can't look back on good memories today. We have some amazing people here in our company who will be sharing some incredible stories [00:05:30] and some beautiful art. Now, I'll go through the boring health and safety bit, um, exits that way. And that way I don't know where that leads, but it must mean outside. Um, oxygen is all around you. Um, toilets are downstairs, I'm guessing there. Oh, there we go. Two and one. That's great. And, um, please switch your mobile phones to silent or off. Um, I'd now like to introduce our first batch of performers. They are an inclusive [00:06:00] non audition choir that welcomes gays, lesbians, transgender, intersex and queer people and anyone else that wants to join in on the singing and they will now perform. Don't tell Mama. Please welcome to the stage. The glamour phones, right? [00:06:30] Thinks I'm li I Carnival is by now [00:07:00] doesn't even have as I'm working. Oh, in a pair of lazy pants. Yes. [00:07:30] So hi. [00:08:00] Promise them. Don't want you kindly. Yeah, honey. [00:08:30] So Oh, no. Church on the back doesn't even [00:09:00] happen back to me. Just me [00:09:30] say, hey, yeah, She would drive up to walk and try to pray [00:10:00] Mhm [00:10:30] you like a mummy is the word. [00:11:00] I think there's only one word to describe that camp Very camp. I loved that. I did forget I forgot to introduce myself. So for those who don't know who the heck I am, my name is Cole Hampton. Um, I'm a local drag queen in Wellington, also known as Pam from bulls. Yeah, um, unfortunately, Pam couldn't make it. Um, she's got a multi grain at the moment, so but you've got me. [00:11:30] So, you know, second best, I suppose, um, I'd now like to introduce our first speaker for this afternoon service. They have both lived as male and female in one lifetime, and they were once the big and what was once sorry. Excuse me? What was once the biggest challenge has now become a blessing. They were a New Zealand Idol runner up in 2005, and in 2015, they documented their gender reassignment surgery in 2015 [00:12:00] on Net on the Netflix series, Beauty and the beach. Please welcome to the stage, Nicky. By yourself. Hi. Good evening. It was quite confronting putting this together, Um, knowing that I would be saying these words in front of people. But I've done a lot of things. So this is just another thing. But it's important. So [00:12:30] he asked me to speak about dealing with stigma and how to break down stigma in our rainbow community. The dictionary meaning of stigma is a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person who in this room has felt stigma in their life? Quite a few. Well, I have a unique story, as some of you will too. Um, I've dealt with stigma from two [00:13:00] different sides as a gay man and now, as a transgender woman. Don't get me wrong. I've had a lot of love and support over the years from beautiful, open minded people, but sadly, I have been hurt by stigma. As a gay man, I've been laughed at called Faggot and Homo who who has walked down the street? Who knows what I'm talking about? Walking down the street innocently 15 years old, say I was getting on [00:13:30] with my own life, thinking about my own things and out of the blue, I hear you fucking faggot. Who's had that? Yeah, that's the kind of thing that has really hurt and stuck with me in my life. Um, it's a I heard that I. I probably today still try and get over. It's It's quite painful, um, and uncalled for. Of course, as a transgender woman, I've also been laughed at, not accepted by family and friends and made to feel like a disappointment, [00:14:00] having experienced the disgrace of others, for just being who I was is a feeling of rejection, exclusion or that you are not good enough. This can lead to all sorts of self loathing behaviours, including drug and alcohol abuse, looking for love in all the wrong places and self harming or even suicide. We [00:14:30] need to keep teaching our people the importance of self love and respect for our health and safety to to learn the true value of your being and your unique your unique purpose Here on Earth. I want you to say after me, um, these mantras that I find really empowering um I think it's really important to to speak to yourself sometimes out loud and say some positive things because it's so easy [00:15:00] to run down that that track of negativity. So say after me, I am worthy. OK. Oh, someone really meant it. And I am good enough. Yes, girlfriend you are. I've had to say this to myself many other times because, you know, from those things that happened in my past I I often felt really, um not good enough, basically. So I find that mantras are really good to just stop [00:15:30] your self in your tracks and just say a positive thing and and yeah, keep it positive. Good mantras help to check yourself and make sure you are thinking and speaking positive and looking at life with the glass half full, living openly and honestly has given me the opportunity to connect with like-minded people or other different walks of life. So in 2015, I was living my life in carterton. I was working at the secondhand shop and out of the blue. I [00:16:00] received this email from a friend from years ago and she said to me, I look, I don't know if this is for you, but if you're interested, please apply. And what it was was an opportunity to have gender reassignment surgery. But I had to do it in front of the cameras. And, you know, a lot of girls like myself would think, Oh, yeah, I'm just gonna do it. But when I thought about the cameras there in such a vulnerable time, I didn't know if I really wanted to or could do it. [00:16:30] So I went to bed for three days and really thought about it. And then with the support of my mom, she said, You know, when when are you ever going to have a chance to do this? So, I, I went forward with it. And two weeks after that email, I was found myself in Phuket, um, Thailand, and I couldn't believe it. I mean, I wasn't planning for this. I wasn't knowing that this programme was being made. This documentary was being made and here I was now in Thailand and I [00:17:00] had gender reassignment surgery with a beautiful cast of of camera people and and, um, people behind the scenes that supported me and truly, um, accepted me and, you know, really had my back and and I was so, so lucky and and grateful to have that opportunity. Since then, I've worked in the cosmetics, the elective cosmetic surgery industry as a consultant. So if anyone was interested in cosmetic surgery, including [00:17:30] my, um, transgender girlfriends who are, um, on the transition from male to female, you know, they could come to me And I would, uh, organise their their trips overseas with the right surgeon and, um, help them with that. So that's been a really amazing thing for me to be able to be a part of, Um, but of course, due to covid, that's, um, on hold. And we hope that open the borders will open up one day. Hopefully, by sharing my story, it encourages [00:18:00] and supports others to live their truth. Now, Gerard said, um, to speak about how to break down stigma in our community. Well, I actually thought about it quite hard and I thought it's actually happening. Compared to, say, 1980 I really feel there's so much more information about the different types of people. Um, different lifestyles. Um, it's it's There's so much more information on the Internet TV programmes we're now seeing gay people [00:18:30] on, you know, soap operas or, you know, TV programmes. Um so I I believe that people that aren't a part of that community are now seeing that they're able to see and learn a lot more than they did back in the day. So I really feel like a lot of the education is happening now and an important part of the education is, of course, being yourself, sharing your unique journey because visibility is key. [00:19:00] When I was a kid in the 19 eighties, there was only Boy George that I recognised as being different. There was no ru Paul or Caitlyn Jenner, and there definitely wasn't endless YouTube videos of people documenting their lives and living out loud. People are now being introduced to the rainbow community on a worldwide scale, and at an earlier age, these days due to the exposure and amount of information there is out there. A lot of people have more awareness and understanding to the different kind of [00:19:30] people and that exist. And they may even know someone or a family member. Now, I'd like to share with you before because of the education and the information that is out there now, I actually learned that there is now a medication to help people with HIV live a long life. With this medication, you cannot pass HIV on to your partner. And if you conceive Children, they will not contract HIV. To get this [00:20:00] to get to this point in medical history is thanks to the people who have gone before us and those who worked on the front line to care for and treat people with HIV through the years. So there you go. There's that information that, uh, people are finding out about which is so great and and powerful in closing. I'd just like to really reiterate that it's so important to be yourself to share your story. [00:20:30] Um yeah, and just inform people, educate people, be open. Uh, thank you very much for having me tonight. Um of course. You know, in Wellington and Auckland and in Christchurch we have some amazing support networks and especially in our queer communities. [00:21:00] Members of the support networks here in Wellington and nationally will now give you an update on their organisations. I now invite to speak Matt Sharp from Bosie body positive Kim Wheeler from the New Zealand AIDS Foundation and Richard Ben from beacons of Hope. Sorry, Matt doesn't seem to be here. [00:21:30] Um I'm Kim from the New Zealand AIDS Foundation. I'm here with my colleagues. We are, I guess, a new new faces and new to the community. Um very honoured to be here tonight. I've been with the AIDS Foundation now for five whole months and, um but I bring with me a huge wealth of HIV and AIDS experience. I've worked internationally [00:22:00] for about 15 years in HIV AIDS and countries desperately affected by by the epidemic they continue to be. And I'm very honoured to see how far we've come in New Zealand in regards to contributing to the progression and the healthy lives of people living with HIV again, I would like to remind you that the AIDS Foundation continues its work [00:22:30] in the community continues to provide testing to people who have little or no access to services, people who feel stigmatised in other services. We're also working extremely hard to help other health care providers across New Zealand to understand the importance of having friendly services, inclusive services. And most of all, the New [00:23:00] Zealand AIDS Foundation is still working with people living with HIV. We're now much there is a much more extensive network and I think as you said Nicky, things have changed very much and the AIDS Foundation is moving with that change as well. We are now progressively increasing as I said, our reach into, um into, um, the health services to enable and support the development [00:23:30] of stigma free services. So I would like to say thank you and how honoured we are to be here today. We are all in this room, the memory keepers, and it is a great honour to hold Hold that in our hearts, Thank you very much. I'm Richard Ben, and this is Tim. [00:24:00] Uh, we are working on a documentary. Um, I used to work for the New Zealand AIDS Foundation. Ken and I used to follow on from you. It's a nice Segway, and I can see, uh, friends and colleagues from days gone by. I worked for the AIDS Foundation in 1990 for four years, and at that time when we as we saw in the history that we began tonight's occasion with, uh, things were very different and there was a lot of urgency, a lot of fear and massive [00:24:30] amounts of stigma. I worked for the AIDS Foundation and we had something I heard. We heard something was happening in the United States, and it was called the AIDS Candlelight Memorial, and the first one was held the year before I started. Um uh, it was held in the beehive, and the beehive restrictions were that you could light candles, but you had to put them in a little tray of [00:25:00] dirt, um, and stand in the circle and have some speeches. So I heard about this when I started, and at that stage I was a community activist and an artist, and I'd worked with fire, and I thought, What would it look like if we carried a flaming torch for every person who has died at that stage? It was 100 and 63. And so we marched on Parliament with our flaming torches in a project called Beacons of Hope. So [00:25:30] the international AIDS Candlelight Memorial response in New Zealand for that period was called beacons of Hope. Over the years, I've been approached by people who thought, Well, what happened to that information? What happened to the energy that has it gone? Who cares who's who's lost? Who, who's who's remembering anything? Um And so that's why I've been working with my friend Leo Gershman, who's the director of this film, [00:26:00] Uh, who's busily, uh, editing for TV NZ tonight. So he sends his regard. But our producer, Tim Hope, is here, and, um, I'm going to ask Tim to speak really briefly as well. Why we're here tonight is because we are making a documentary that looks back and collects up the voices, the memorabilia, the experience of people from probably before law reform right through until the late [00:26:30] nineties, sort of a period of intense urgency. And isn't it interesting that that epidemic would have everyone fearful? And now we're making this documentary within another epidemic, And the interesting thing about our work is the question is. How does it and why is it that New Zealand responds to disasters and epidemics and fear in our unique, bicultural way? [00:27:00] I believe that New Zealand, through the needle exchange the the work and, uh, human rights legislation law reform had become We were unique, absolute unique. And we we did things later than the rest of the world. We were fortunate, but we did things in a very unique way. And that's what we'd like to capture in this documentary. Uh, that's why Steve is in the back of the room with the camera. He's recording this celebration this, uh, collection of good people tonight to [00:27:30] talk about to look at how we how we remembering it. Now, what's changed? What is the issue? Stigma is still here. Um, how do we how do the support networks work? So if you'd like to talk to us, uh, afterwards, please do. Um, if you'd like to say anything to camera, you might have a reflection that you'd like to make or leave us with your contact details, and you might be able to take start in a community consultation as the documentary moves along and we build up a body of knowledge that we can present. [00:28:00] Um, hopefully in a, uh completed documentary. It's a process. So here's Tim Hope so, um so I I came to be drawn into this project, Uh, really, from a position of kind of shameful ignorance of not really knowing much about the history of HIV aids in New Zealand. As a gay man who was born in the eighties, I probably should have, um So although the stories have [00:28:30] been told many times over the years, up until this day, I think with the fullness of time and in the context of covid, it's a really good opportunity for us to explore this as a whole project. Um, and so talking to a lot of people over the last while has been quite eye opening for me. And I think that there's a lot of people in my generation and the generation younger than me who would also be in that same position. And I think it's, uh, really a timely project to be undertaking. [00:29:00] So we lost, uh, with, um, one, man approached me one day and said, Richard, uh, our stories are being lost. Uh, no one is remembering what we went through. Does anybody still care? So I don't want to become like a boring old ANZAC character. But when you think about the greatest generations and what they went through, we were called back then to respond, and you [00:29:30] all are still responding. We are all in community responding, and younger generations can only benefit if we share the story and don't keep it. I understand completely because of trauma, that why people closed down. It happened to me. I got quite burnt out at the period and had a long period away from the community, Really? So we need to step up and recall the story so that other people will remember. But here's the thing about the documentary. It absolutely [00:30:00] continually honours the lives of the people we've loved who we lost. That's the first thing because all of those men and women beloved in our community are and continue to be the beacons of hope to [00:30:30] thank you so much. That was really lovely, and I think it's safe to say, you know, people like my age. I'm only 22 we're sitting. We're certainly sitting on your shoulders in history. We're not sitting on ours. We're certainly sitting on yours. I would now like to introduce a poet and a dear friend of mine. Um, she is a poet, performer, podcaster and photographer. There's a lot of peas in there. She has a little bit of everything all wrapped up in mischief and love. And she is absolutely thrilled to be part of [00:31:00] the service. Would you please welcome Kate Spencer? Mm. I was born in 1982 into Thatcher's Britain. Uh, yeah. So a lot of this comes from, um if you saw the TV show, it's a sin. Um, a lot of my my work is informed by that tonight. Um, this is called AIDS then and now. AIDS [00:31:30] then acquired Immuno deficiency syndrome Acquired. Meaning you were far from admired. Blame laying squarely at feet. It's your fault you got this. You should be ashamed. The opportunity of promiscuity. Too much for you. Even though it takes just one acquired meaning. You were fired from jobs long held mired in the politics of the day, betrayed by systemic failure to care [00:32:00] immuno meaning you are marooned in time of greatest need. Typhoons within body something considered necessary. Pruning of society's least wanted no ambiguity that opportunities were taken stolen from a whole community deficiency, meaning only that the world was deficient in compassion, irrational fears. The mainstay of this gay plague. Vague understanding [00:32:30] of major crisis. Nothing done to assuage the feeling that they were second class citizens. That this was a curse on the perverse syndrome, meaning even home was unsafe, locked away alone as it went full blown death without dignity. No one taking responsibility to ensure simplicity of decency. Cocktail of useless drugs to end [00:33:00] AIDS Now now acquired means while it's not the diagnosis you necessarily desired, if it transpires that you do have it be inspired, it's gonna be OK. You're not responsible for the acquisition, and your position in life is unchanged. Immuno means reach for the moon. You are no longer lampooned for being queer. There is nothing to fear for. You can live a long and healthy life [00:33:30] deficiency means a physician sees a way around modern medicine brings hope. A future full of scope, a way to cope with the syndrome and syndrome now means life can be lived at home in full colour. No monochrome misery gravestone. Far in the distance. No longer a sentence, but a paragraph, a chapter, a whole novel ahead. AIDS no longer leads the parade, but is [00:34:00] a side street that we greet with. Oh, hello. But for those from then when AIDS was a short fused grenade, we salute you. We remember you. We love you. It may have acquired you, but we we now admire you. Thank you. [00:34:30] It's absolutely stunning. Um, now we now come to the memorial part of, uh, this afternoon service, um three candles will now be placed on the memorial table representing those who still suffer from discrimination, lack of medications and education and for the organisations working in the field of HIV prevention, I now I now invite Bruce, Kel and Eric to light the three [00:35:00] candles, the lighting of the candles and placing names on the Memorial Memorial tree represents our memories of those who have passed, as well as to raise awareness and hope for the future. And while everyone goes up and lights candle and reflects, I now would like to introduce Al Pryor, who will be singing and playing guitar and singing True colours is a queer [00:35:30] creative jack of all trades. Currently living in Wellington, the Filipino, Chinese, Canadian, New Zealanders. Most recent works include the eternal Queers, which was a play performed in the Wellington Pride Festival this year. And in the show top to bottom, which was part of the fringe festival in 2020 [00:36:00] you with be a real It's hard of people you can [00:36:30] all in the darkness there inside you makes you feel so But I see to come I I see you, OK? That's why I love I to let them show we [00:37:00] all those beautiful like and Oh, I don't feel happy Oh, I last saw you. If [00:37:30] this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear, just call me because you know I'll be there But I see your true sunshine in I So let them show we [00:38:00] that's true are beautiful for like a thing. Ladies and gentlemen, that was just stunning. [00:38:30] Um, we now like to invite anyone, um, up to the open floor, open floor sharing part. Um, And just to remind everyone that there is supper, um, at the conclusion of this memorial and, um yeah, So anyone who would like to come up and share a few words or some experiences or a story, please welcome to do so no one. So no one does. Anyone? Anyone [00:39:00] going once going twice. And so I'm Ron, um, many years ago, um, in Rotorua. I was living in one of my good friends. Is that be? And he died? Michael Hay. Michael was an amazing guy. Um he got told over the phone by his GP [00:39:30] that he was positive, and this was in the late eighties, probably early nineties, and he said, Fuck it. No one is going to be told over the phone again. I'm going to make that my mission. So he had this campaign and he went on homes with Paul Holmes and with and, um and, um [00:40:00] yeah, he was just an amazing guy. And you I at the time, I was actually, um, uh, a volunteer for life link youth line. And he said to me, He says, Hey, we should set up a phone service. So we set up Bay Area Aid Support Service. Beth and we manned those phones. I think it was on a Wednesday night between seven. And nine, and we got all sorts of calls from people asking questions. [00:40:30] Can I get it from a cup? Can I get it from kissing? Um, you know, all these sorts of they seem stupid. Questions are now, but at the time, they were relevant. And so I just want to, um, acknowledge people like Michael, and And he was part of a group that started collective thinking, which was, I think, one of the first magazines that came out for positive people. Um, and, uh, yeah, and I just want to talk to my friend here. [00:41:00] Who's you? Um, last year, his brother died in Indonesia and he was here. He couldn't fly back. He couldn't be with his brother and his in his last few days. And, um, he came here today because he wanted to, um, you know, sort of say goodbye. So, um, hopefully this has helped you. [00:41:30] Um, Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Thanks. Uh, hi. Um, I'm sort of playing the spectre of death. You know, some of us are suffering for having aids, and, you know, we're not getting better. Um, so [00:42:00] it it comes not as the AIDS virus it comes. As for a lot of people, it'll come as cancer. Cancer that shouldn't come early. It'll come to people with HIV. So we are still dying. I have my very own disease. It's undiagnosed, but yeah, I've got very thin skin and I'm sort of wasting away. Hm. There's a lot of new faces [00:42:30] here. I usually recognise most people, but I recognise the and I recognise Bruce Kil, Minister, and, uh, Ron, I'd just like to say that these guys are the ones who brought the medication in before the New Zealand government bought it in for us, you know? Yeah. So there's a few heroes up the front here. Uh, thank you. That's all I have to say. Except I. I lost a friend during COVID [00:43:00] in Tasmania, and he died. He's younger than me, but, um all right. Thanks for being here. No, my name's Phil Rogers, and I was just standing at that tree before, and I just brought back something. Um, I [00:43:30] worked in television in New Zealand for a long time, 30 years, and a lot of some of our producers died of AIDS, and, um, I can't remember the exact date, but I was setting up a television archive at the time so I was able to move around TV, NZ and Avalon and see how things are going, what we're gonna have to do and all that sort of thing. And we had a guy, guy, the name Westmoreland. Now, I don't know if any of you know Mark, but he was one of our most, um, talented producers could do anything. We had [00:44:00] another guy which didn't die of age, but it Malcolm Kemp. But he died early, not of age, but he used to do all the big stuff like, um, opening the Commonwealth Games. Um, we did telethons and all that sort of thing. Well, I went up to the sixth floor of Avalon and not expecting anything because AIDS was not really out there. It was around, OK, but we sort of went over our heads. We we're getting on with our life and you see pictures now of the pandemic on [00:44:30] TV, and you see people that burning the bodies and in the doing everything, I will put it on an equality of that of what I saw on the sixth floor one day, and that was to go up and there was a guy I heard my voice. Who said Oh, Phil, you come to see us? When I turned around and there was what, Mark, I did not recognise him. He was a shadow. He was skinny. He was virtually like a grey. Um, grey colour. To be honest, [00:45:00] the thing that was sparkling in him was his eyes. And I just stood there. I didn't know what to say because I didn't know. I just thought he died. He had cancer or something. And it wasn't until I went out, we had a conversation, and, um, I didn't know what to say. I was just like, how are you or whatever? I just thought, Oh, you know, I've just come up to see this and I went out and I'll tell you what, I went to the toilet and I damn painted, Um, because it was such a shock to see somebody. [00:45:30] It was like a, you know, prison in the cop and walking, and he passed away. And then another producer passed away called John Burningham. Um, so it was quite a shock to see that, And it was something our generation that went to war to sort of funny things and all the things you see and you don't talk about But the other one I've mentioned is Daniel Fielding Daniel. When I left TV, I went into hospitality and Daniel was a a bar manager at the Blue Note the [00:46:00] infamous blue note on, um, the and it was a bar that they wrote, Um, one of my friends, Tony Simpson, wrote a book about a chapter about and he said to go to the Blue Note bar, Um, it was your night up. And if you, um, go there, it's the most colourful bar in the world because it Tony could say things like that. He used to go and have a night chap on the way home and, um, at 3 a.m. and [00:46:30] as you do and he wrote in the book most colourful bar everybody of anything was there, and it was all accepted by 5 a.m. It resembled a zoo. And I said, Well, can I put it on my CV? Can I put a zookeeper? Um, but, you know, there are people like that now. Daniel was a manager of that and he was accepted. He took everybody on board right up to a point where he couldn't do it. He went to Melbourne for a couple of weeks, came back from holiday and he was quite [00:47:00] ill, but it was not. He was on a AIDS medication, but it wasn't that. I think it was a blood clotting problem related to the thing. But he was. He was put unhealthy, more or less standing up right to the point he spent the last three weeks in Wellington Hospital. But the shock of that was suddenly somebody in front of you and going it was invisible. So I come today. I just bought that right back to me. And that's how many years ago for about 40 years. So, you know, I just [00:47:30] thank everybody coming here remembering, and I don't let's not forget that some of us lived and we're still here. It's like covid. You lived through it, push your fingers. You just don't know who's going to get it. So I'm glad to see the presentation today. It's got a lot of hope for people that are still here. OK, thank you. [00:48:00] Um, I'm one of the younger generation that someone mentioned earlier. Um, and obviously I don't have any of my own experiences or stories to share today. But I just wanna say, um, thank you to to the people that have and to say that, um, we really wanna know, like, it's I know it's really difficult for people to talk about this because it's it's massively traumatic. Um, but we wanna we wanna listen. We don't wanna, like, ask those [00:48:30] invasive questions, but when you're ready to share them and like, late tonight like, yeah, we really want to be able to hold your stories and carry your stories into the future for you. So, yeah, Please do talk to younger people in the community about all this because we really, really want to to be able to hold those stories. Um, hi. My name's [00:49:00] Katie. And, um, I, um I wasn't gonna come tonight, and part of that, I think, is me trying to get my head around the fact that for me, um, coming to these events, um, I was always always felt a few generations apart, I suppose. But I now [00:49:30] have a friend who is has told me that they are HIV positive, And, uh, for me, that's brought up lots of, um, personal analysis. around how it is. Um, I feel about that. Um, I'm not necessarily very proud of myself for some of my inner thoughts. Um, the idea of stigma came up earlier on, and for me, it was [00:50:00] about recognising that, um for me personally, I know I am probably guilty of carrying some of that stigma, but hopefully now, um, well, not hopefully. But now I can challenge myself because I have someone who is someone who I know as a friend who has been diagnosed. [00:50:30] Yes, I Yeah. Hi there. I'm Sue. I'm with the glamour phones, and I certainly wasn't expecting his feet, but I just wanted to say something for Owen, who was my brother's always lived in Melbourne. He's an actor, so, um, he can't help it, but, um, and and he didn't always live in Melbourne. He was in Auckland as well. So, um, so his the love of his life, Who he met far too, you know, far too close to when actually Owen died. Um, [00:51:00] Owen was a teacher in Melbourne, and they got together and lovely, lovely men, and they met at the southern Hibernian because they were both beers. So, um Yeah. So I wanted to say something for Owen. Because when Rod was in a play in Christchurch in 91 Owen came across having not talked for a couple of weeks because he was sick. Came across. They were in the same motel for a bit, and he got really sick. He had to go into hospital and died two days later. So he came over here. He had lovely, lovely care [00:51:30] at Christchurch. It was a lot, but really, I think the drugs killed, um, Owen Really? And other other contemporaries of his who didn't take the drugs were actually are still Well, so the the the the older drugs weren't weren't good for health. And, um, I just wanted to remember him because it was It's actually 21 now, And that is many years ago. And, um, yeah, he was a lovely, lovely man. Thank you so much. [00:52:00] Um, I just want to understand that because I've got a friend who, um, she's 96 now, Um, and she's in a rest home, so she can't be here tonight, But, um, her son David died of AIDS, and, um, I'm just thinking about how hard it was for her, Um, not having known that he was gay and the kind of, um who worries about [00:52:30] how alone he felt with that. Um, And she is so proud of him. And, um yeah, as yeah, if she'd known earlier, I know that she would have got to the point of celebrating him, and I just wanted to share on her behalf. Uh, I don't [00:53:00] know how to say, because English is my second language. I hope you can understand. So I've been living in New Zealand for eight years since 2012 in Christchurch for six years in Auckland for two years and now in Wellington, I'm a I was living in crush with my male partner for six years. I've been through with [00:53:30] semi open and very open with him, and I've been living in Phnom Penh as well in Cambodia, and I moved back and we break up because I'm from Indonesia and my parents are a Muslim and really, really practising Muslim. And they they are really wanted me to get married with woman. That's why me [00:54:00] and my partner break up. I married I brought her here to New Zealand, but some of reason she didn't get the visa. And I love her. I love her. That's why I brought her here live with me for one year. But some of the reason the immigration didn't get gave her a visa. And after I get divorced, I very like a little [00:54:30] bit depressed and some of my friends just don't be in yourself and I get wild. I installed grander tinder, Um, but we are really, really, really lucky living in New Zealand because the health system is really good. I went to the, uh, New Zealand Foundation to get tested first [00:55:00] and then second I went to the and then the third one, I went to the Green Lane in Auckland to get prep because I know I'm gonna be wild. I get prep and yeah, III I And until now, still taking my prep for for my whiteness. And I met the guy. I love him and he said [00:55:30] to me, Are you really love me? Yes. I want to say something to you. What is it? And he said, I am a positive and I told him that's not surprise me. And he said, Why? Because so many people that I thought that I am positive they just run away. But why you not run away by you? My name is [00:56:00] the reason I'm not run away Because I got my one hero. He is my brother. He just passed away on May 2020 can get back to Indonesia at that time because that is during Covid. He was diagnosed as like I think, like eight or nine years ago. I knew [00:56:30] it and yeah, he passed away. But he told me. But you be open minded this day. Medication is good. I cannot pass my HIV to family. To you, my brother to parents. And that's why I said to my my man that night I'm not surprised because my brother had that and just passed away. [00:57:00] And I couldn't go back to the to say goodbye. So he is my hero and I want to say thank you to my brother to to open my mind, to be accepting who you are. Even though you are positive or not, because we are the same, we are equal Guys, I wanna say thank you to my brother who [00:57:30] are already in heaven. Thank you. Some really, really amazing stories. I think, you know, brave. That's the vibe. I'm getting very brave. And, you know, does anyone I was watching. I was doing a bit of research, um, coming up to this event, and I sort [00:58:00] of stumbled upon that little girl Eve. And there was a clip that I found some of you who were old enough might remember, um, on Paul homes where, um Paul Holmes said that you can't get it by touch, and Eve kissed him on the cheek very lightly. So I think it would be really good while everyone's welled up with the motion and a bit for if we hug the person next to each other and say I love you. There you go. Look [00:58:30] at that. Right. Going to be, um, I would now like to introduce is a Tai community group based in Wellington that welcomes people of diverse sexualities and gender [00:59:00] identity. Maori are the indigenous people of a in New Zealand in modern terminology. Is a Maori individual that identifies as queer, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans or trans. The or purpose of the group is primarily for Tai building, its community telling its stories and leaving a legacy that will inspire others exists [00:59:30] through the community and gives meaning to its through different threads advice, advocacy and support of the LGBT Q I community will now give the closing address and sing a [01:00:00] uh, no. Uh uh [01:00:30] [01:01:00] And so we greet once more those who we have called into our presence this evening and our greetings have been complete, the tears have flowed and the farewells [01:01:30] are now being given once more. And so we bid you all to return to return beyond the veil to that place where you reside The true home of the source of all things at the side of your many friends and your ancestors and your relations. And we bid you that. You stay there this day and this night [01:02:00] in pace and rest. No. And to all of us who have survived their passing and continues to be here. Greetings. Once, twice and [01:02:30] three times to us all. Please join us. We need some higher voices to damn [01:03:00] well [01:03:30] Gloria. [01:04:00] [01:04:30] Yeah, [01:05:00] yeah.
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