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We greet out this mother and our father sustenance for us all. Particularly whose body we live. Uh, we feel well And remember those who have passed away. And [00:00:30] as we grieve for their loss, we remember their life with joy. Uh, thank you so much for having me here to greet the people of this land. All of us who have come here today and the organisers have pulled it together with amazing attention to detail and thoughtfulness. Uh, [00:01:00] I hail from Gisborne on the East Coast. I as I said before, we moved down to Dunedin where I grew up. Uh, when I was about five, we always went back home. Uh, for 20 years, I spent living in Wellington and just moved back to home two years ago where I've been enrolled at, which is a Maori visual arts school. Uh, so when I originally [00:01:30] way invited me to be part of the and I went sweet ass and we which was awesome for those of us who were at it as it was weird, it was really cool. We were like 12 men in this little room. Beautiful Kai, as always killed to the cos Oh, my goodness. And this the thing about creating safe spaces. And so we acknowledge all of the different cultures that all of you have come from and the places of learning and the knowledge that all of you However much of that knowledge that [00:02:00] we have in our present lives, uh, that there's a lot of things so much, I believe it's in our blood. It's in who we are and how we present. And sometimes it takes many years, decades to learn how it is that you live your life, which is the way that your ancestors lived. And so greetings to all of you from, and all of your ancestors from all over the world. My speech, multiplicity splitting ourselves across cultures, families and communities. Uh, [00:02:30] I say this because, as I said before, I was brought up, I believe very schizophrenic kind of way. Another example. My mother was Catholic, persuaded my father that we should go to, uh, Catholic schools because they're the best ones. My father wouldn't let us go to church, and so we and he believed in the old mighty gods. And so I'm thankful for that. So we get this religious education every single day. Uh, but we've been home, and Dad talked to us about how do you make medicines from the Earth? So there are bits and pieces of me. He was an artist in [00:03:00] a so he didn't speak Maori. But the the areas of knowledge that he knew about that is what he taught us and and so for. And when I talk about multiple personalities, some people have a problem with that kind of terminology. That's fine. Some people call it compartmentalization, but as many of you and thank you so much for the many things you talked about and expressed today, especially when we say there's not a lot of places when we can say some of these things. And there's just [00:03:30] not many places where we can be all of the parts of ourselves who we are. And so I wanted to go through some of the things, um, and use my artwork. This is idea. I've shown her some of my commissions that I've been doing the last while and she said, Why don't use those So I, I haven't done this before, a bit of stretch for me, and so we'll just we'll just see how that rolls. And at the very least, once we put this up big, um, if you find me at all boring, then at least you can look at the pretty pictures. I'm hoping [00:04:00] to make this, you know, not boring. So I want to use myself as a bit of an example of trying to and as I say, got into politics. Probably when I was 12. 13, uh, to Maori women. We league as a junior member when I was 15, Got on my That was my first committee where I had a role as a and pretty much haven't been off them since. And so I I was really fortunate when I moved to Wellington that there was a couple of much older women from other different tribes [00:04:30] and they took me under their wing and they just kind of softened off the edges and and they used to one of my auntie minor a lot of edges, like and but my these aunties of mine, they would say, Elizabeth, you're a bridge. Be a bridge between And like, I do not want to be a bridge. I wanna bomb the bridge. Yeah, I wanna be able to stand on the side and say, No, [00:05:00] you cannot come on to the side and then please say so. So this and so I always say I am a Maori, but I have a pakeha mother, so I know how white people think. So a lot of these artworks are for a commission that I did for probation services in Gisborne. It's really important for me that my art work gets seen by Maori people. Fact is, they don't go to art galleries and museums. Uh, and so [00:05:30] this is a big section I did for the reception and all of the meeting rooms where offenders meet with the probation officers. Uh, and I've just finished, like last week. Like Thursday. Uh, the big commission for the Family Court New Family Court just opened in Gisborne, and I'm doing works for the, um in the courtroom themselves. And it's like how subversive when this Maori lesbian separatist is creating art works, putting them in your courtrooms. And but I just love because lots and lots of Maori people and the fact is in it's a lot [00:06:00] of my family. My partner works in probation, she goes, I need another one of your cousins today. Thanks. OK, so gonna break it down into sections. The first one I wanted to talk about was around spirituality. How we express that, how we're safe around that for myself. I do believe in the almighty gods. I feel really close to close to them. And when I'm doing my art work, I, I feel free to talk with them. And we're fortunate because that's something we were brought up feeling really natural about With my father, we talk to [00:06:30] our dead. We often, you know, our spirits about someone who just lost would wander through the house and we that stuff about interpreting our dreams. So we're very, very fortunate that that's something that was really normal for us. And so I I despite being brought up Catholic, Uh, I very clearly remember I wanted to be Catholic. I had a mad crush on this girl who ran the prayer group. So yeah, today I'm feeling a little bit Christian [00:07:00] and that, but I, um I clearly remember when I was 10, the love absolute love of my life. My grandmother passed away and they said to her, um, because in those days. You had to. You couldn't just be Christian. You had to be Catholic to go to heaven. If you were anything else, you went to hell. And I said, But that may wait a second. We've studied Jesus. He's a good man, you know. He did this, looked at, you know, it was important to him to care for the poor. He wasn't into people flashing their money around. And I [00:07:30] said, What about if she was a good person? What if she lived Christian values? What if she never heard of Christianity? Jesus, wouldn't she? Wouldn't that be good enough to get you into heaven? And they said no. I said, Well, your Christianity sucks. I will never be involved in this. And I still had to finish the rest of my education. And I spent the next six years fighting with my teachers and the nuns and even the ones I had crushes with. I had to put that aside because that's what you do for your politics [00:08:00] and so so spirituality. So what I do when we're doing prayers because it's become such an ingrained part of Maori culture that, uh, we do Christian things So I lower my eyes. I do not lower my head. I do not bow before a Christian God. And so these works. I'm not sure we may be slipping back and forth because I have not sort of the timing on this This art work here. Uh, how do we do this up? Big [00:08:30] generation X. See, I was 25. 1st time I touched a computer this, uh, figure in the centre. Can you see it? It's like, Oh, OK, right. Fine. It's real fast. Pause. How do you do? The pause. I need a beautiful assistant. That's what I need. [00:09:00] OK? Do you need me more anymore? OK, the whole time. Yeah. So the centre figure is a It's a guardian figure and a sea creature. And so and the two sides work is called. And so the first Poe or post on the side is about our gods and whoever that God [00:09:30] is or or gods, however you express yourself spiritually. On the other side is our ancestors. It's where you come from, however much you know about that. But it's actually how we anchor ourselves. So it's about finding a place and creating that support outside of your friends and family is on a higher level for for being who you are and finding a place where you can be safe inside yourself, finding contentment and peace. And so this is the first one, the next one. [00:10:00] This is Stone. One of the other things I've made a commitment with the eight series of artworks I did was every single one is in a different media. So I wanted them to remember that when these Maori, mostly Maori offenders, walk through the door. They are individual people. They have their own issues and not to just treat them as this blanket. Bad boy, bad girl, bad Maori. And so this one here and I did it as a touch piece. So it sits on the desk, and within a few weeks every single person who walks in there smooths it, [00:10:30] smooth their hand. It's called for always, and it's and so if you see the top of her head, her arm comes around the front and then someone else is looking and going. Is that a vulva? I mean, why, yes, And so it's that thing that all these offenders and these men who have a lot of violence, and the idea was just to remember that things are really hot and heavy and and crazy in our lives. [00:11:00] And the drama is full on and we've there's the offending or whatever the poor decision making that's happened. It's just like things will smooth out with time. The land will go on. It can sink the troubles into this piece. It's fully smooth, the whole top of it. Now there's no dust or anything that every single person who comes in there touches it is just want to sink in. So OK, the next one around cultural identity are Maori. As I said before, I've always been proud to be Maori. I'm gonna express that, you know, I do. I do. [00:11:30] I learn to speak our language. Uh, for a long time. I didn't in Dunedin. It was really hard to find a Maori to teach Maori and I refused to go to A to learn my own language. A lot of shame involved in that, uh, that part of it not that I should, because I understand things beyond my control control freak as I am. Um that that's just something you know, I couldn't do much about, but for a lot of people, um, that's a real problem. So the next one, please. [00:12:00] And so Oh, yeah. Next next one. I did that. Thank you. These two, These are about 6 ft tall, this one a little bit obscured. I'm sorry, uh, so so many of you have been on. So these reference the panels that we have and I want to do them in two because it's a core part of our identity and who we are. And so I wanted to show that when violence, trauma, abuse, rape happens and our families, and especially in our childhood that [00:12:30] quite often that's associated with our culture with whoever perpetrated that violence against us. You know, I was 19 before I met a Maori who was not brought up in violence. I didn't even know that such a person existed. So for me great, all these great things. But for me, it was integral. We're violent. We're a warrior nation. We fight, we hit. And and so I was just saying, But we start fragmenting in lots of different ways when that trauma affects us. And so I wanted to see that um that's that's where we might have come to this [00:13:00] place. But that's not our life. That's not our future. We do not have to live that life next place. And so on this close up, this is a silhouette of, uh the, which is a little that comes out out from Gisborne and the light, the gold light that comes. It could be a sunrise or a sunset, depending on how you want to look at it. But my thing and what I tell our kids, I tell young people I'm working with this. Every day is a fresh day to start again. We can no matter what you've done, no matter what has happened to you, we [00:13:30] can start again. And the design that comes up as the never listen to anybody that tells you this means stairway to heaven. Not true. Uh, it it is about, and it's about learning. It's about layers of so because Papa needs to make a layer, lay things on, and and so it's about learning a certain amount and then go further back [00:14:00] and you learn a certain amount, and sometimes it's about our ancestors. But sometimes it's about unravelling the layers of ourselves and where things came to because there's a historical trauma that colonisation, um, stories of migration story being from a war torn place. That's that has a generational impact. And we just we don't know that we just live that. And so it's also we use it. Use a lot of imagery. It's about learning scaffolding, your learning. Sometimes you can only handle a certain [00:14:30] amount of information. You take that in, you live that and then you can take a little bit more and it's just that steps. And so it's saying, Yeah, things get fragmented, fragmented. We learn a bit more. We learn to look after ourselves, and gradually those things we'll meet, we'll start pulling ourselves back together. And so, yeah, I encourage anybody who wants to You know what? You need to learn about your own culture to pull yourself together. Connecting with gender identity. Uh, III. I was born [00:15:00] a female I identify as female, so I haven't had an issue with that in my life. I identify with other Maori women with other indigenous women throughout the world I identify as a woman because not everybody in this world, uh, is born into the gender. That is true for them. And and so and also we're in a world where we're not just double X and XY chromosomes in this world. And so when we're looking at gender, they start saying [00:15:30] I'm no, I'm just I'm a woman and everybody else is other Then it's a thing of we're just 11 form of body. I have privilege because I have been I've grown up being told I'm beautiful, not helpful when someone's raping you, telling me you're beautiful, does your head in. And so it sings about what is beautiful and who has power to say what's good, what's not. What's good bodies, what's attractive. And and also then about finding that strength to decide I. I decide if I'm feeling good if I'm looking [00:16:00] good for myself, for whoever to be attractive, to be sexy. Whatever it is, however, we want to express ourselves, um, that's our power to do. And so this piece, yeah, I see that I have mixed up some of my slides. I'm just gonna flow with that, Um, this one actually is part of the last section. This is about learning about our culture. This is a piece called She bought the on the to New Zealand [00:16:30] and she um So I learned at school at my art school. I'm really lucky. Every single day we learn more theatre, so chants and incantations and and learn about and history of our area, which is awesome. It's a great way to start your day and then go and make artwork. And so I learned about her and I learned this. It's a weave, so this specific weave we used to do on a our kits to carry this is they were really important. [00:17:00] And so I wove this, an acknowledgement of her and the next one. This is so coming back to gender, and who we are means the essence, the pure essence of who we are inside ourselves, not what anyone else says what not what anyone else requires us to label for their understanding who we are and how we want to express ourselves. And it was the start of a series of works I did we about cutting into the body part [00:17:30] of that reference to self-harm, which is something when we internalise all that anger and stuff that's going on out there against our own bodies. And so part of that that cutting. But a lot of my work still is that I I want to turn the ugliness that someone else puts into me. I'll bring this out in beauty. I'll bring this out in strength and grace, and that is my goal with my artwork. And so and then the next one. Thank you. Um oh, yeah, Close [00:18:00] up. And next one, this is the because of the stuff that happened to me. Sexual abuse. When I was younger and raped as a teenager, I couldn't have Children. And so for a lot of my life, I lost a child when I was 16, and for a lot of my life, I that was not something I wanted to do. I had a massive crisis around it when I turned 40 my sister offered to have a child for me because my sisters were so worried that what might happen if I tried to get pregnant at that stage. And so the this [00:18:30] work is a series I did about women having the ability to create life and how especially that research I do into traditional Maori society, that that was a revered, absolutely revered role that women had and that our Children were well cared for by both their mothers and aunties as well as their warrior fathers and uncles. And then our elders looked after our Children because parents were too young. [00:19:00] What did they know and that everybody could look after? Colonisation has had so many impacts on gender expression of Maori women. It's insane. Uh, but so this is one of my tributes, then to the mothers of, uh, Mother's Day. I routinely send little texts to everybody as mothers who has Children, because I just say that the the women who put their effort in to bring up our Children safely and in love is one of the most fundamental [00:19:30] and important roles. Thanks and closer and see, we had to these classes, and I do a whole lot of weaving. Then I'll do a whole lot of clay and next thank you. This week here, it might be hard to see it's two bodies. I did, um, and this isn't again in one of the rooms at probation about domestic violence, because my household was absolutely a battleground growing up, as were all of my cousins, most of my friends, Uh, and [00:20:00] what I did was I took was you were familiar with, uh, last year, the Maori performing arts was held in our hometown. It was the entire place Gisborne was all about and and so I took all the newspapers every week. There was these amazing we front page, full colour photos. It was great. I took all these newspapers and turned them into pulp and made these bodies one male and one female. And I called this and it's about the good news and the bad news of [00:20:30] Maori because that was great news. But most of the time we're in because we are criminals. We've done something wrong. We're violent. We don't look after our Children. And so and the fact is, Gisborne, where I grew up where I live, is got the highest rates of domestic violence and child abuse in New Zealand. And so it's like, Wow, we have this incredible performing thing where the best of who we are is on show and then at the same time, some of you have to be going home [00:21:00] and smacking your kids around. Not so far past not cool. It's insane. And so this it's called. It's search for what is right. So the designer coming across the man's the male figures. Um, torso is about shouldering his responsibilities, Uh, and especially in terms of fathering and caring for his Children and and playing a role in healthy and safe relationships. And for the women again, about the It's like making some good choices about who you [00:21:30] have a access to your body and B, who you have father, your Children and who is in your Children's life once they're born. So so some people can look and go. Oh, that's pretty like, Did I tell them what it's about? I said, Do you still think it's pretty Next place and close up and OK, next section. Oh, actually still part of this. This is in the room, uh, the family room of [00:22:00] probation, the centrepiece of the design. It's about a parent caring for a child, and it's called Centre of the Universe. And my story with this is that if we just cared for our Children, we would transform Maori families and Maori society, and that's something we can tell all the stories we like about colonisation what's happened out here. But today we can make a choice about what happens in our home, how we look, how we relate to our partners, how we look after our kids [00:22:30] and the pieces, the flats going outwards represent, and I. But it's just about our extended support networks who we have to help. We need to help bring up our kids and and the natural colours. The colours are about the rainbow, all the different kinds of families, the way that we, um, you know, bring up our our Children within our diverse, really, really diverse cultural and queer families. And so there was, um, [00:23:00] I had a probation officer just last week said they had one of the offenders has been moving from room to room, and they kind of used the artworks. I wanted it to be like a springboard to raise issues and things, and he came and saw this one and just burst into tears is a really, really violent offender, and it's like That's why I do this and so because I personally cannot make contact with the person with that person. But if something like my artwork in this case can can do that, [00:23:30] then that's well, well worth the effort. Next, please. And this is what it looks like. It goes from floor to ceiling. It's huge. It's like nearly three metres wide. And the middle piece is like about this big. So yeah, thank you. And actually coming back to, um can leave the image. I find it, I suppose I didn't specifically say I'm sure I said before about being feminist is about where we put our politics and those things [00:24:00] that are important. Sometimes it's from our life experience, but sometimes that's just from what we think we need to align ourselves with and support other people in that work. This, um, is about kind of the queer side of things. I'm so, in fact, that I identify as Maori first and part of a wider community who might be lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans queer, questioning, gender, queer, asexuals and [00:24:30] I. I did this as a kind of an extension of my work with about cutting into bodies and and about weaving ourselves back together again. We got into the finals of the Ture Wearable Arts in Auckland. I originally designed some sort of wedding dress and then it just kind of got a bit sexier and shorter. And my motto is like tiny someone's cousin because no one else could fit it. And, uh but the top of it it's about It's like the fire and heat of the trauma [00:25:00] of the wounds. And like sometimes the open wounds that we wear and we're just like a walking me don't just like or just how we deliver things and people like who, you know, settle down. It's not that bad. It's like, really my time, that is, and and so but then it's like whether we get older. We we have people who provide support. We read something. They're just like, Wow, that's amazing. And we move into the healing colours and we just And it's like [00:25:30] the ribbon that is there is like little stitches. We just gradually the ends, they start softening. They're not so jagged. It's not, doesn't hurt when you move and start to start stitching it still open, still a bit raw, but you know, you get in there and then we move into the flowing colours and those it's we start to put effort into our own healing. It's called journey to healing. Um, and we just start weaving ourselves back together because at at the real basic level, only we can do that. And [00:26:00] and the colours of the rainbow then refers to to our rainbow communities. And it's about the whole piece is about being allowed to live safely and fully and sexually in the gender identity and sexual orientation that is right for us and how we want to live this one. I think this is a little bit more of a closer, but yeah, and then the last section. I've just kind of put on to miscellaneous because it's kind of everything else. There's many, many [00:26:30] other things about how we live the me being an artist, being an activist and how I choose to express myself in in whatever way, Uh, this the last one. When I introduce myself quite often, I'll say I'm a scorpion feminist, him and and I would I know lots of people discount astrology. Some people, like don't even know what this stuff. Oh, my God. I was at the one time it was my birthday, [00:27:00] and I had, um I wasn't resenting the fact that I was there instead of being on, you know, doing something for my birthday. So what I did was that I got the room and the to say what star sign they were and how that impacted on their youth work, right? And so, you know, it's like so I'm a scorpion. I'm passionate. I'm really I'm full of and, you know, and so we went. [00:27:30] And what was really funny was that several people going I don't really know what my star sign is or don't know what really what it means. Meanwhile, all the scorpions have got in a group together, and they're like, practically, you know, they just set everything up. They go all proudly, proudly, scorpion. But anyway, I would just anyway, I would discount it if I was not a textbook scorpion. You open any book that talks about it? It's like, Oh, that's Elizabeth. And so this is part of being a white water sign [00:28:00] is the ocean. And she is one of my ultra favourite. And the next one, please, this is a close up. This is Clay. And, um, yeah, just that thing of the range that she has from the crashing seas and the power that can just, like, take you away, wipe out massive ships and and then just the gentle, you know, ripples as they come up on the beach. It's just like she's amazing. And and then the next one, my other favourite, this is she is a goddess of fire. [00:28:30] And this was one of the things, uh, this is a She's a clay on driftwood. I do all of my clay ones like this, I actually I go to the beach and I call out, and then I move over and I find the wood, and then I make the clay to fit the wood if you had the next one. And this is my last slide. Uh, scorpions are ruled by the genitals. Genitals. This is actually about that smouldering, you know, power. And so you know clearly about sex. And so that's [00:29:00] and so you know, there's a lot of parts of ourselves. So in conclusion, as I draw this to a close and thank you for your help, um, I, I just wanna thank you all for listening and and just to, I suppose, encourage all of everybody. I've been through many years of putting myself last putting the needs of my family, [00:29:30] our kids, uh, the cause. Other Maori women who have been hurt and putting aside my pain. And so these are way different ways. You pay for that eventually. And I suppose I want to encourage everybody to look at those different parts of themselves to the extent you want to. I mean, if it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter. Uh, but also, to harness the creativity, we have no to to look at something. Is this stuff that I've always said I'd really like to do that, but really, [00:30:00] I don't have time, but really, this other stuff is more important to actually find to look at those things and just say, Well, actually, I'm allowed. I give myself permission to be happy to express myself in the most creative and beautiful and powerful way that I can. And I just really want to support you to do that, Uh, one of the groups that I formed a trust, which is how I met and Jack. And it's a group. [00:30:30] It's a group and an advisory. And we, uh, performed at lots of things. We advised lots of things. I still do. Uh, and we it was It's a group where if you supported the you would come so many people from many different cultures and and gender identities and sexual orientations. But we had three goals to that group. One was to build our communities two to tell our stories and [00:31:00] three to leave a legacy. And that's something that I wish for all of you and to just to remember that inside the cause you are important and I'll finish with the which is from wa and the more hunters You know, this I love singing that Maori thing that all these years have been dragged up Whether you're good at singing or not, you get to do it anyway. So [00:31:30] OK, we here are what mm be your than my nation and cross the wide wide ation We won't kneel down up on the ground Oh, how I love [00:32:00] to hear them sing my mouth Good day. Done. Go there. Or And my mom? Yeah, [00:32:30] killed that right? Yeah. Thanks, Elizabeth. I've been I've been really fortunate to know Elizabeth for many years now and seeing Elizabeth speak at heaps of stuff and always always delivers and comes out and just just really moving and yeah, I think, [00:33:00] um, I've been on for six months or eight months, and they say that, um, you start taking the tea, and it's really hard to cry. And I was like, Oh, that won't happen to me. I cry all the time, and unfortunately, it has happened. But yeah, today just kind of seeing that stuff and hearing you speak about all that stuff. Um, especially, I guess where your art goes and how it reaches out and touch people. Um, yeah, I'll be like, Oh, there's a cry coming on. Um, so pretty much, Yeah, I think we'll, um, break into [00:33:30] smaller groups, maybe of about three or so, if you feel like talking. Otherwise, there's been a lot said and a lot kind of brought into the room from a lot of different parts, Um, as well as all of ourselves, as well as all of our the needs have come in. So if you want to take some time to just chill and kind of let that sink into yourselves Um, this is probably a good time. Otherwise, um, yeah, get to get together kind of smaller groups and, um [00:34:00] have a yarn about kind of all the multiplicities of the different parts of our Selves that come together and clash and don't quite fit that Get left at the door that get, um, put outside that kind of stuff. Um, and we'll come back about in about 15 minutes just before four.
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