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How young were you when you first realised you liked other guys? It wasn't clear to me until you know, puberty. Once I hit pure videos. Yeah, I knew. Um, but it was a dream that, um, made me start to realise it. It was, um It was my principal. When I was in middle school, I had, um, kind of a I had a dream with him in it. And it When I woke [00:00:30] up, I was like, Oh, at first I didn't really think anything of it because I didn't really know what it was. I grew up in a very, um, in a Southern Baptist or fundamentally Baptist, um, community. And they don't really talk about that. And when they do, it's it's nothing. Good. So, um, that's when I started to really, um, notice whenever our pastor would, um, preach about homosexuality. That's when it really [00:01:00] before I didn't really pay attention to it. I didn't really understand. But then I started to That was that was really weird. When did your family find out? Um, they didn't find out until I was in first or second year of high school, but, um, only one knew and he was my cousin and he only found out that I was gay because he told me he was gay first. [00:01:30] So I remember we were watching American Idol, and he just turns to me, and he's like David and I was like, Yes, I like guys. I was like, That's cool. He's like, Really you you accept me? I said, Yes, he's like, OK, and he turns to television and he says, That guy's hot, too. And, um, I was I kept, um, my identity to myself for two years [00:02:00] before that. So I knew what it felt like to just not telling anyone having no support. So it took me a week, a week, exactly a week after when the next time he watched American Idol for me to tell him and I remember his reaction. He just got ecstatic and he started jumping on the bed. I'm like, you're gay, too. You're gay. Two, too. So, yeah, that was, um so and then just, um I told my parents, [00:02:30] I think I think Oh, no. It was the beginning of sophomore year of high school. I first told my dad, and I remember thinking that my dad would react badly, and my mother, my mom, would be, um, accepting about it, but it was the exact opposite. But I think it's because my dad was prepared because he always kind of thought or suspected. And my mom, it just blind sided my mom, My mom [00:03:00] did the whole Bible. Something like Homosexuality is a sin. You're gonna go to hell, Don't be gay type of thing. And, um, my dad was nice about it, and but he he believes it's wrong, but, you know, he will tolerate it, and that's that's his stance on it. And my the rest of my family just found out gradually. I never told them. They just They just found out somehow. [00:03:30] I don't know how I still to this day. Don't know how they found out. So, yeah, that's it. Um, how involved are you with the gay community now? Not very much. Um, I've I have gay friends, but we're not really a part of a community like like, you know, like a huge gay community in a city. We're not really a part of that. So I just have gay friends. But [00:04:00] I don't consider myself, you know, Mike in the community. I don't go to gay bars. I don't go to gay clubs. I don't I don't really, Um I don't think I've experienced the the whole gay lifestyle and gay culture. Would you like to? Yes. Yes, but, um, I hear things from other people. Other people who have experienced the that lights, [00:04:30] um, that culture. And they say it's fun, but they don't really have good things to say about other gay people. Like, um, they can be a little catty. They're they can be superficial. It's It's not good for someone like, um, yes. I don't know how to explain it. [00:05:00] So you've heard enough? Uh, negative. Yeah. There's a lot of negative. Um, not not about the whole community, but there's there's enough negative, um, comments about them that just make me a little wary. I do want to experiments, I. I mean, how can I not, But I just I'll be a little wary when I do. I think that's why it is a new thing to experience. So how about you? [00:05:30] How, um when did you realise you were gay? Um, I think I was around 45. I was born in San Diego. But I did grow up in New Zealand, and my earliest memories were actually that of New Zealand. And I remember we were shirtless, um, as little kids, and, um, I don't know, I was never into girls. I've always found the male body more attractive. Um, [00:06:00] I didn't come out to my parents so much later in life, though. Um, but when I did come out to my friends, it turned out it was kind of obvious. Like they kind of saw it coming. Probably because I've never been interested in girls. They've never seen me with another girl, never had girlfriends. And then I was always with other guys and especially in sports. And, um, I met [00:06:30] my childhood sweetheart Jorge in, uh, in high school, and we eventually did get married, and, uh, we still love each other of seven years. Now, how long are you dating? We actually never went on a date. We always just hung out with each other and kind of knew we, um we were very compatible. So you just skip the whole dating process and just said, Hey, let's get married. Basically, basically, we, [00:07:00] um unless you consider every time we hung out as a date because we always did, um, things together. And there was a third guy, Pat. He ended up being by and we would skateboard together. Go sketching, um, which is where you hold on to the back of a vehicle and skateboard for faster speeds. I'll recommend it's not safe. Yeah, I, I would never do that. I'm sorry. Yeah, it sounds dangerous. How you do that? [00:07:30] It was fun. So when did you come? How did your family react to you coming out? Um, my New Zealand members that I contacted a few of them did, um, contact me back and said that they were supportive and accepting and the and basically my entire American family American Indian side of the family. Um, we also accepting, except for my grandparents, who were like, chief, you know, their traditional old school, [00:08:00] and they still don't accept that. Um, when I told my parents that I was going to marry Jorge, I first told my mom and she she took it well. And then I, you know, went to the bedroom and told my dad, And as soon as I said, I'm Hey, Dad, I'm getting married. The first thing that came out of his mouth was why and then, [00:08:30] um I thought he was going to say who and so I said Jorge. And then it created a awkward moment. But he was He did come around and they're also Christian people. But they're very open minded Christian, and they realise, you know, we're not doing harm to the community. We're we really love each other. We're very loyal to each other and, um, dedicated to making it work. We both put forth effort, and [00:09:00] we, um we don't go to bed angry. It's one of our things. So if we're if we're fighting, if we're angry, then we talk it out. You know, we try to sympathise, get on the same page. And that's worked really well for our relationship. Um, we don't argue. We pretty much have very similar mindset. So, um, so your your parents are very much, um, true Christians in sense of words. And true Christians are bigots. Yes. And they're [00:09:30] very much into love, this message of love. So it's it works. And so my parents are very accepting that way. It's really good. So do you have any siblings? Yes, I have a younger sister. She's straight. Um, how does she take it? You're coming out. Actually, she knew before everyone else, because we did grow up together. Very. Um, we grew up in very harsh neighbourhoods, so it made our bond [00:10:00] closer because I'm always defending her. I would fight off people who would hurt her, and we got closer because of that. Um, so when I when I told her, she always knew and she was very accepting that's good. Um, I have two older half sisters and, um, my other my oldest one, lives in Sacramento. And I told her first, [00:10:30] and she was very accepting of it, but I didn't actually get a chance to tell my second sister because, um, I remember when I one of the times my dad and I were talking about it. It was like a day or so after when I first told him he I told him to not tell her because I wasn't ready to tell her yet because especially at that time, my sis, that sister and I, we did not get along. So [00:11:00] if I was going to tell her it would I would need a lot more time to do it so But even though I asked my father too Um I I remember going upstairs and he just tells her, and I'm I'm I upstairs, and I just I can hear them. And I'm just like I just told you not to tell her. And I came down and we had a We had a fight about that, and my dad left and my sister brought me into her room and she kind of gave me this [00:11:30] look and there is really long, awkward silence. I remember seeing her just going. OK, um, are we Are we going? Are we gonna talk because you're just sitting there staring at me? It's kind of creepy. She said, What did I ever do to you? And I remember playing like I'm I'm sorry, Can you Can you elaborate? Because, I, I don't understand what you mean by that question. And she kind of just had this long sigh and she's like, This is [00:12:00] all my fault. And then she's like, just leave it. If I remember leaving her room with the most people look on my face. I did not understand what happened. So I'm I'm glad your sister took it very well. Um, it's an experience. Someone should have. Mine was kind of weird. Yeah, mine Mum was like I I as I said it. It was like telling her what the weather was [00:12:30] outside. It was apparently so obvious to her she was new, even though I don't I know a lot of stereotypical gay guys, like, I don't know, musicals or something, and I was never into that. Um, I was always into sports, so I was kind of like guy guy guy, you know? So I'm not sure how she I guess she was. She's very observant. I will say that, [00:13:00] Um I have a gay aunt, and when I told her she was very joyful, she, um she her lover, Tina, had been together. Let's say 89, 10 years now. No, more like 11. 12 now. Even when Tina went through cancer, she was there. Um, Tina defeated cancer, so that was great. Um, um, it was difficult for my mom to accept [00:13:30] my aunt for being gay. For some reason, she was in denial for decades. I think the fact that my aunt came out as gay before me opened the way for my mom to accept me as gay later on in life. So I think my aunt, for being a Trailblazer in, you know, try my mom that not all gays act a certain way or not. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're promiscuous [00:14:00] or, you know, bitchy. I don't know. There's negative stereotypes that, um, that my mom now knows it's not true. So just a sexual preference has nothing to do with personality. I met. I've met all sorts of bi gay lesbian men when I was active duty, and they're wonderful people. They serve our country just like the rest of [00:14:30] the troops. You know, there's gays and, um, special force. Um, there's Navy Marine. I've met airmen, air women, you know, um, there are even I've seen time and time again. Where straight, um, people in the military have covered for, um those who are not, um, junior enlisted. Um, [00:15:00] I've I I've knew three officers, um, across the branches that were stationed, um, stateside, who ended up being Trans. Um, and they were officers. So, uh, they're they're in all over all ranks. And, um, I'm glad now that May 5th of last year 2011, we had a briefing at my unit to overcome, [00:15:30] um, how to implement the process of introducing homosexuality into the UCMJ the uniform code of military justice. Um, and so it's no longer considered, um, grounds for, uh, dis dishonourable discharged and, um, is no longer grounds to be turned down to be, um, you know, ship out and to swear in, and [00:16:00] you can't get article 15 for it, so it's no longer punishable. Um, and it's just I've had a very positive experience in the military with my, um, gay companions who were very, uh, who really helped me through a difficult time because I did come out to my parents during active duty when I was stationed, and, um [00:16:30] and they helped me through it and explain what I should say to my mom and dad. And in fact, I actually knew, um, a couple of my buddies came out to their families too, right before deployment. Um, and for the most part, we're, um, received very, very well, so that's good. So, um, is anybody else in your family gay? Besides, your aunt? Yeah. Um [00:17:00] That's why, um, my mom when she said, Well, I don't know if there should be I. I don't know if you should marry because, you know, traditionally, it's man and woman and my dad, he jumps in and says, Well, there's lots of gays on my side of the family in New Zealand and, um, I didn't know that till he said that I'm like, really I should have come out sooner. I would have. When I was in New Zealand, I had no idea [00:17:30] I was a kid, and, um, that any of my family were gay. So it kind of goes over your head. You don't really fully understand till you're older later on in life, when you learn lessons and experience things. So So where is your, um where is your husband now? He's in Peru. Oh, so I plan on being with them at all times. My favourite animal is a wolf, and they mate for life. So I like to think that [00:18:00] we're soulmates mating for life and we'll we're both logical and rational people, so we'll make it work. Um, how about you? Do you see yourself? Uh, i'll be alone and bitter for the rest of my life. I'm just joking. Um um I don't know. I don't really think, um it's much a priority for me right now, but, I mean, there's a lot of things I want to do with my life before [00:18:30] I even think about that because, um, I've only had I guess you can call it a relationship. But it was just one, and it was it did not last long, and, um, I won't go into details, but he ended it. Apparently it just didn't work out for him. And the whole experience of it just made me realise that realise that I was a lot more insecure than I thought it was, so [00:19:00] I could have became bitter. But I just took around and just took it as a lesson. And I kind of told myself that I wouldn't I wouldn't go into a relationship again until I felt that I was ready for it. So right now I'm just gonna focus on my priorities like I'm focusing on writing and finding more creative outlets. Um, I want to travel. [00:19:30] I really want to go to Scotland and the and New Zealand and all those places. Um, I'm not maybe not so much Japan. I'm not sure, but that's an option. But, you know, maybe someday I don't know when I don't know when I'll I'll be be ready. But it will happen. I'm sure it will. I'm sure you'll find a really great guy. Why? So I'm just kidding. Um, [00:20:00] yeah, that that's That's my thought. That's all I'll say. What kind of work Um, do you aspire to do with a career that you're interested in writing for writing? Um, well, right now I'm kind of thinking about screenwriting. And then I think about, uh, writing graphic novels or Japanese manga or comic books or just novels [00:20:30] or scripts for movies. I'm thinking I'm considering all of them, but it's not set in stone yet of what I really want to do. I don't really think I I can't just, like, say I want to be this one and just go into that. Um, I think if I want to be more versatile, I should just, like, experiment in all those areas. Yeah, so we don't really know yet. It's always good to keep your options open. It is What? How about [00:21:00] you What do you? Well, I would like to be, um, a graphic designer. I'm hoping that, um I can utilise my G. I bill to go to art institute, um, and get a bachelor of science game and art design. Um, till then, I'm willing to work for money. It doesn't matter what just, um as long as I can keep a roof over my sister's head and take care [00:21:30] of her and keep a home safe till Jorge comes back from Peru. Um, and also, Pat and I mentioned earlier who's also like a brother of mine. Um, he's my housemate. So kind of in it together. It's good. Um, so to wrap this up, um, what advice would you give to someone who's coming out? [00:22:00] Um, I would say, um I think it'd be best to do it as soon as possible because keeping it inside, um can really affect your psyche. And, um, you know, you want to create good memories when you're in childhood. But if all you can think about the depression and the angst, Um, and Plus, I think the longer you give someone to adjust to it, it would, um, they'll be more accepting over [00:22:30] time. If some people just need time to, um, come to terms with the fact that you're actually gay, So I would do it as soon as possible. Um, I would, you know, at first feel them out, Try to be subtle, Um, so that it's doesn't kind of bitch. Slap them with that kind of bomb. Um, but, um, especially to your to people you consider friends and [00:23:00] close relatives. It's very important to for them to know. So I very much agree with that. It's it's, um, probably the best logical approach to it. So but, um, as always, there's so many different situations, so it really depends.
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