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Lindley, you grew up on the North Shore. Is that right? Yes. Yes. Before the harbour Bridge was built. And can you tell us a bit about that time and how it was for you as a child growing up on that side of Auckland? Um, it was wonderful. Um, lots and lots of free land for us to roam and, um, play all sorts of, um, games, um, [00:00:30] the end of our street. Um, there was a really, really big mountain of earth. Huge mountain of earth. We called it the mountain. Um, and quite often we put in our cricket wickets at the bottom of the mountain. Um, and we would play for hours, cricket up and down the street, usually one side of the street against the other side of the street. It was a load of fun. It [00:01:00] was really, really great. Very little traffic bus buses ran to usually the people who, um, their timetable as opposed to a bus timetable. Good old Birkenhead transport. Um, everybody knew everybody else. It was It was incredible. It was great. Who was who was in your family? I've got two older brothers quite older than me. 67 and six years older [00:01:30] than me. Um, so, yeah, I was a surprise, And I always continued my whole childhood as a surprise. In what way? Um, if I wanted to know something, I wanted to be told about something. If something was puzzling me, I would keep on and on, and I would know if I was being fobbed off by by mum or my dad. Um, [00:02:00] the best one. I was my grandmother who lived with us for a number of years before she passed on, um, a good line for And I think some of her jeans have rubbed off on to me because she was, um, a dancer. Pre World War one. she was a dancer in, um, various theatres in London. [00:02:30] Um, and, um, yeah, she just loved life. And I think I I actually carry a lot of her jeans in me. Are you a dancer? Um, I have been a dancer. Um, many, many years ago. My mother was, um, taught ballroom dancing. And so there she held classes in the local church hall again. [00:03:00] Small area. Everybody who had a school. It was offered to the whole community. And, um we used to have dances in the church hall. So that's where you learned your ballroom dance. Was it? Yeah. And did you Did you learn to lead or follow? Um, quite often there wouldn't be enough boys. And so Yep, I led. And how is that by example? [00:03:30] Um, it was it was good. It just seemed natural. It just was totally natural because my mother was leading. She was teaching, so she was leading. So that was normal. Yeah. So how how long into your life were you dancing? Um, until I discovered cricket. Um And, um, back in the sixties, I discovered that there were [00:04:00] women's teams on the North Shore. Westlake Girls High School had a very, very good girls cricket team. I didn't go to that school, but, um and so, yes, the dancing sort of went out. I was only sort of doing it because the mother would like me to be there. So that's the only way I went dancing. But now I discover cricket and other things. So and, um, how far did you go with the cricket? Um, [00:04:30] some way. Um, no, sure. We would have to travel over to the city to play against, um, other teams. Um, I was selected once for the Ross Bowl competition. Um, but lack of funds, we couldn't travel anywhere, which was the same and one or two of my close friends. And I still, uh, you know, sort of in contact with them. Were [00:05:00] selected for the, um, women's team back in 67 or 68 to travel to England. And they went by ship. Did you go? No. No. Was it unusual for women to be playing cricket in those days? Um, once you were in it now and, um, my both my brothers, um, played cricket, and I got [00:05:30] to hear of it with one of my brother's friends. Her sister played, and it was, um, Carol, who was selected and went overseas. Um, and there was a few of them, even Karen Plummer. And I think you know, that's that's a name. That ring should ring some bells for a few people. Um, but no, it it was great. And most of the women who who actually played cricket, um, also [00:06:00] played hockey in the winter. I played once that ball just travelled right up the hockey stick and went into my nose and broke it, and I never went back. After that, you can get all sorts of bruises and bumps. And what have you from a cricket ball? But that was just bam. Nothing. Not for me. So you you're quite sporty as a young person. And, uh, and and a young adult. Yes, yes. Um, I still [00:06:30] play cricket after my sons were born. Um, that was my time. And it was OK to have that. I just felt Why the heck can't I? You know, just a few hours on a Sunday afternoon is great. Is that in Auckland? Yes. Yeah, Yeah. Again on the north Shore? Um, yeah. I was married and had the two boys. The boys loved to come with me because, you know, they were fussed [00:07:00] over and sort of taken for joints up to the dairy. Yeah. Hit a ice block. Um, how How long were you married for Wo? About 10, 12 years. Um, I had the boys. We had been married, Um, about seven years. And, [00:07:30] um, yeah, things sort of turned to custard, Made me look and made me search. Um, so although I was moving away from a situation that was a little bit violent. Having that opportunity to also look at two ways I could go and I went and accepted myself [00:08:00] as a lesbian woman. Had two really, really horrid experiences and went back into the closet for a number of years after that. But when I came moved to Wellington, um, in the nineties, I knew then because this is like lesbian feast Wellington, especially in the public service. This is, you know you [00:08:30] got And if you don't look at it and accept, OK, time out, think it through. Yeah, it fits. I fit. I'm happy. Totally. So how did you come out in Wellington? Who did you meet up with? Or, um, we've often talked about it and laughed about it. Um, but [00:09:00] we tell Linda and I tell people, How did you meet? And we say we were in media studies together. She advertised in the paper, and I saw it. So, um, and we've literally been together ever since. So that 13 years, 18 years and that was in the personal ads? Um, it used to be the contact, the local paper, the contact. It was under alternative [00:09:30] lifestyles Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she It was really It was really funny, because her does. I wasn't looking. I went home on a Friday night after work and I was sitting down and I just opened the local paper and her head just boom was as if nothing else was on the paper. It was just that Oh, what [00:10:00] the hell can't hurt. Gave it a ring. Left a message, she replied on that Sunday night. We met up about a week later, and it's been 18 years of absolute ups and downs and whatever, but it's been incredible. Incredible. Tell me about incredible, um, [00:10:30] allowing oneself to go that extra mile with them. Having the trust unconditional love, totally unconditional love. We both had to learn. We both had to discuss. We had our moments, Um, but all through that [00:11:00] and I think having the support and within her family within Linda's family amazing an amazing family. Um, it's been I've been really, really fortunate in in finding Linda, and she says the same. Yeah. How was the support from your family? Um, when I told [00:11:30] my oldest brother his wife, um what? You know, they were both together Um And I told him, and Marilyn sort of said, Well, it's about time, Um, and was just Oh, what do you want me to do or say? I said, Absolutely nothing. I'm just sort of telling you, letting you know that this is who [00:12:00] I am. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'll sit on that one. And he's been fine. He's absolutely fine. My my other brother doesn't speak to me, but that's that's it's sad, but I respect him for it. You know, if he can't or doesn't want to look into something, then yeah, [00:12:30] he is. It's just what he is. This is, you know, but I love him dearly. I'll always love him. Um, but, you know, it's just the way it is. You can't do anything. Did you have an inkling when you were young? Yes. I did know what was as I as I put in, um, my little piece for the photo for the photo shoot. Um, [00:13:00] the family next door to us. They were Catholics and about six or seven Children. And there was one in particular who she just I thought she was just amazing. I didn't connect it until a few years. down the track. But, um, she was butch. And even 40 50 years later, she is still very much she [00:13:30] ran into her recently. Is that right? I tracked her down. I tracked her down. Um, because my boys sort of live in, um, we quite often stay at, um, in a motel in. And I knew that she had moved to a and so I just looked it up in the phone book. And in fact, we were only about five or six houses away, you know, in the motel, away from where she lived. [00:14:00] And so it was awesome to go and see her. Um, and yeah, she's just the same. Maybe even a bit more shorter. She used to say that she was 5 ft and a quarter. And what made us stand out for you when you were young? Um, a her job. She delivered [00:14:30] in a little van motor car parts. Um, and she would she She was really, really family orientated. She was always there for her mum. And I would sort of see, especially it was in the school holidays, and, um, she [00:15:00] be out coming up the past. Hi, mate. Do you want to come out with me this afternoon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, I would go out with her, sit in the car, and we just talk about anything and everything but I. I didn't I couldn't put a pin on it. I couldn't. I can't, Actually, even now, it was just something that I knew. [00:15:30] Deep down I knew. And time will tell because I Mum, my mother would sort of say, Oh, did you go out with her again? OK, yeah. It was neat fun. We went here, there, and everywhere you go, you'll have to stop doing that. And I just sort of held it in. I didn't No, I You know, I won't. So you just you you liked [00:16:00] her. There was something about her that was appealing rather than an attraction as such, um, an attraction? Yeah, Um, a kind of inner knowing I'm going to be like that are I'm talking about an eight or nine year old. You gotta remember I was an inquisitive kid. If I couldn't get what I thought was an honest answer, I pushed [00:16:30] and pushed until I did. How old was she? Oh, she would have been in her twenties. She would have been in her twenties, you know, But, I mean, she she had the amazing thing. I would watch her come home after work, and you know her, obviously her partner at the time. And I lived [00:17:00] in that house, you know, their own bedroom in that house for Roman Catholic family. Totally and utterly accepted. See? So that's all of that was at the back of my mind because I could hear I mean, you know Oh, here you go. You know, or my brothers would say something derogatory. [00:17:30] And I say, Oh, but I didn't know why I was feeling if they heard them say things like that, I didn't know. But it wasn't until all the puzzle. It was quite quickly when I got old enough for the pieces to fall in. And when you met up with her again, did you talk about how it was for you when you were both young? Yeah, well, she said and I've just remembered [00:18:00] which relates to what you now call on. But Bob, her older, her older brother used to call me Bob. Um, so yeah, I think they did. recognise it because the other girls in the street would be given dolls. My father made the most wonderful doll's house for me. It had electric lights and everything. I never played with it. [00:18:30] I wanted a cap gun or Roman sandals. Happiest in t-shirt and shorts. Yeah, in the narrative that you wrote for the exhibition, you told this beautiful story about, um wearing a wearing a tie to go see your doctor. Can you tell us that story again? Um, I had to go down to see Doctor D, and [00:19:00] I had not long started at the intermediate school. And it was I loved it because you had a white shirt, but you had a dark red tie. And so I was all set to go on to school after the doctor visit, and I walked into his room and he was sitting always sitting behind his desk and he looked up and he said, Who told you? [00:19:30] I did. Goes to the door, opens it up, call out to the nurse, set up a few bandages, would you? So we go down to the dressing room and he showed me how to tie the perfect wins or not, And the double wins are not tie. And we didn't finish until I had a decent looking [00:20:00] tie. And I loved tha back then. And I love them now, and there's nothing worse than seeing even one of the guys on TV. I can't help it. I look at their tie and I go, Oh, he doesn't know how to do it, OK, because I saw you, um, when I first started working here because we work at the same place. Um, and I saw [00:20:30] you and I've seen you in your tie in your waistcoat and you look fantastic and you stand out in in this place even though the public service is full of lesbians like you say, Um, do you do you find yourself comfortable in in this work environment? Oh, totally. Um, I guess I'm lucky the most because I work my work as IT, um, [00:21:00] and so I can get away with wearing polo shirts, shirts with a tie. Um, so I'm totally, in fact, what you've raised, um, sort of on on clothing. Public servants. When I first started back in the nineties down here, you could tell a public servant a mile long black and white white [00:21:30] shirt, white tops, black trousers, black skirt. But now they the guys don't wear ties. Um, they wear polo shirts. They wear just about anything. Um, it's changed. And so I think I've as I've gotten more comfortable, so has [00:22:00] the way I dress. I feel comfortable to be who I am and what I wear. That's yeah, that's pretty much it. That's a nice place to get to. It is, it is. I mean, Helens STS have had the fantastic sales on polos polo shirts [00:22:30] with button down collars. Wonderful. Totally thanks. That, um that was a lovely interview. Can I just check if there's anything that you want to add? There's something that I would like to mention that actually I'm quite proud of. Um, I worked for the Auckland Stock Exchange back in about 1968 69 and they had the call over system then, [00:23:00] and that's where the stockbrokers would all come into the into the room and sit at desks. Um, and the session was opened. Transactions and shares were completed, and then it was closed. Well, Auckland Stock Exchange actually went ahead and went and bought their own building. And they went to the, [00:23:30] um, stock board. So and I was the first and the first woman on a stock exchange floor in New Zealand. I have photo. I was interviewed for women's weekly. Um, it was it was incredible. The building was opened by Robert Muldoon. God, let her, um and [00:24:00] yeah, I am. I often wonder if they've kept those records here. I've seen the photo. You look very glam in your skirt. That's the one that is the one. Yes, indeed. I did wear high heels and stockings and makeup. How did that feel? It just felt normal. It's only in the last five or six years that I actually stopped wearing makeup. Um, I don't [00:24:30] know, some a lot of the makeup. It just irritates. And it flares up, especially eye makeup around my eyes. Um, so I don't I just That's a reason for not wearing it, but yeah, lipstick. Lesbian that I was.
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