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What minorities are you part of in the queer community? Um, well, I have quite extreme mental health issues, I suppose, with anxiety and depression and the like. And, um, I'm not sure if I would fit under the labels of pansexual or bisexual. I haven't really decided, but I really like girls. But, like, everyone else is cool too, like, after a while, and I'd also identify as demisexual cool. So, um, you talked before about mental [00:00:30] health? How do you think? Um, having mental health issues has affected life for you as a queer person? Um, it can make it really difficult, like, especially like to access the queer support groups in the community because I've often found it, like, quite nerve wracking to go to other groups, because I'll be afraid that they'll judge me or anything. And I know it's silly because they're generally really supporting, but I could never actually get the confidence to go to, like, groups [00:01:00] like schools out and everything, even though I thought it would be like a really good time. And I have, like, people I know in that Are there any other, um, ways of support other than groups? like that. Um, not that I've I know of, I didn't have much access to any books or anything. Um, before I kind of figured out my sexuality, I was very close to it. And I had no information whatsoever on what was out there. So I only knew [00:01:30] what got told to me by my other friends. So, yeah, where did you get most of your support from? Um, it was mostly just the fact that my friends were generally cool people and were totally OK with it. So when I came out, I didn't feel any worry at all. Um, my parents weren't too supportive like they accepted me, but my dad used to like to pin my sexuality on the fact that I had problems with my mom. And that was why I was I liked girls, which was really silly. [00:02:00] Um, but no. Apart from that, it was just me and I did find a good book at the library after I came out, though it was a whole collection of stories based on queer women and their experiences and like trans women and everything. And it was really great. And it felt good because that was the first time I'd ever read a book with queer people on it, and it felt really affirming to actually know that, like, I wasn't just some weird outlier, [00:02:30] because when I was little, I would always read books and everything because I was quite bullied and to have no representation when I was little. It kind of made me feel like an anomaly, like something that shouldn't have existed because, like if it didn't exist in books, then what exactly was that kind of thing? Do you think having representation of people who are queer but beyond the typical old fashioned gays and lesbians is important? Definitely, [00:03:00] like there is a I don't know. I don't want to sound unfair, but there's a huge thing of what we see in the media. Media is gay, white, sus ma like I can name, like at least three more, more, um, of those couples in the media like Kurt and Blaine and the the two on Modern Family and the like. And it's but [00:03:30] I can't really blame many lesbian couples or bisexual people or pansexual people, or those are even rarer like, and the how they show bisexuality and sexuality and the like in the media is also really stereotypical. How do they show it? Like sometimes it will be like shown as the person being indecisive or just sleeping around with people for fun, like Not that that's bad. [00:04:00] But just that's always the default stereotype that, like they're only in it for fun. And you see tweets about how like people wouldn't want to be with one of those people because they would just cheat and they would never be enough kind of thing, which I think is really unfair. So do you think that's an inaccurate portrayal of bisexual like There are people who like sleeping around, and that's OK, and there are people who don't like sleeping around. That's OK, but like often bisexuals in the media or pansexuals get [00:04:30] shamed for either one of those. Like if you're with one, then you have to hurry up and choose, and you know you can't ever be attracted to one to anything else. But if you sleep around, then you get shamed for sleeping around, and that's really uncool. Do you think that there should be a different representation of people who are bisexual in the media. And what do you think that should be? Um, definitely a lot more varies. I think [00:05:00] there should be like showings of bisexuals who have an even preference for both. And that's totally OK. And no one tells them that they have to hurry up and pick or it's not a punch line. And then there could be some that are shown that actually have a preference. That's strong for one. Because when you say bisexual, most people think that you have an equal preference for one of the sixes, and that's not true. Why do you think, um, representation [00:05:30] is important in the media? Well, before, like I said, like, I had no idea that people like me existed, and so I felt really lonely. And it's incredibly validating to see your experiences and to see someone like you in the TV or the media or anything. Really, Does that, um, extend to mental health as well as you? Oh, yeah, definitely. There's a huge stigma surrounded through lack of representation on [00:06:00] mental health issues like people have no idea what a panic attack is. Sometimes people think that the best way to snap someone out is by slapping them in the face, which can be incredibly traumatic to a person. But since it's shown so often in the media that that's how you get someone out when they're hysterical, then I've seen people do it, and it's just not OK and the fact that you know it's a common thing. It's a common thing said to people who are depressed, that they just need to snap out of it or back up because [00:06:30] the person is either shown as something that's beautiful and artistic or something that's just the person being lazy and those aren't really true. Um, do you think that there is an intersection between the stigma surrounding mental health and the oppression faced by queer people? I think so, Like, there's a lot of people who think that, you know, liking someone else is kind of like a mental deficiency, or there's something [00:07:00] wrong with them if they like other people. But that's simply a case of, you know, bigotry on that person's side because there's nothing really wrong with liking who you like, and there's nothing wrong with having a mental illness and the factors that just the judgement makes it so much harder for both of those things to get help, like you get judged so harshly if you have a mental illness and you're judged so harshly if you're queer [00:07:30] and there's also support groups. But they're also quite hard to find, since you know, most of the things are catered to straight people, and so anything that's not to straight people tends to get swept over. Have you faced much depression in your time for being bisexual or pansexual? Or I've never had physical violence outright. I've had slurs yell at me and people staring and slowing down their cars to have a look. Um, [00:08:00] I've had just quite unkind comments like, you know, just Dad saying that, you know, that was weird. Or, uh, I can't particularly focus on one because there's so many of them, really, and also just the way people kind of react like I've had some people that kind of, like edge away uncomfortably [00:08:30] or, you know, like they think if I'm gonna hug them, it's like gross or I come on and it kind of makes me uncomfortable. How people kind of push you away a little, especially when you're try your best, not to, you know, appear scary, but that shouldn't really be a thing you have to do. Like you shouldn't have to hide yourself in order to make other people comfortable. What about in the queer community? [00:09:00] Um, I know I've always felt a bit of a pressure from them as well, Like also concerning the word queer like I'm not even sure if I'd use that to describe myself just simply because, like for some people, it's really good. But for some people, it's still a A quite a strong slur and like I'm not sure, especially because I know like not everyone wants to be called the word queer. But like I remember when I first [00:09:30] thought I was a lesbian and I was reading up on all these subjects, there was a bit of subtle pressure to like, say that your sexuality was fluid and that, like you, could go for anyone at this which I don't know, like it's not a strong kind of pressuring, but there's still like judgement in the queer community, like from gays and lesbians towards the non mono sexual [00:10:00] people, and then sometimes for the more pansexual and people with more fluid sexuality towards ones that aren't but it's definitely a lot more accepting a lot more kinder than straight people tend to be. What about, um, mental health issues? Do you find the LGBT community is more accepting or less accepting than more mainstream communities? I also haven't had much experience to [00:10:30] say, like I've met a lot more like people who are accepting of mental health issues in the queer community. Why do you think that is? I think it's just more because there's more education going on in that circle. Like people there tend to have a lot more knowledge of mental illness, even if they don't have them themselves. And also, I don't know. With the oppression that we face sometimes I think it's kind of hard to get away with that without [00:11:00] a few kind of hard knocks here and there. So everyone tends to be a lot more accepting of people and their difficulties or things that they're struggling with what was coming out as a process like for you. I came out to my cat first because I was really nervous because I didn't know what was gonna happen or who was going to react So I told my cat like I always do when things are bad and she heard and I felt a lot better. And then I told one of my friends, [00:11:30] and he was a straight dude who was just really blunt all the time. And for some reason I felt like I could just come out And the fact that he didn't react much or anything kind of gave me the confidence to, you know, tell my mom And then I moved on to tell him more of my friends by making really bad puns about me coming out of the closet as I walked out of the pantry, and then the one of them gave a crap because because, um, they all just kind of [00:12:00] knew, and then I got really mad because everyone knew before me, but no one told me, which would have saved me a lot of trouble. The only person I really had a problem with was, um, my mom's fiance and my dad, because they just one of them had been taught religiously that, you know, gays are bad kind of thing, and the other one was just quite conservative and, you know, not that accepting of change, but I never [00:12:30] Well, OK, I did get kicked out of the house once when I went to, um, queer the night, Um, and to help protest because I went against my mom's wishes. So she kicked me out of the house for the weekend. But other than that, like, I've never actually been actively mistreated by my parents for my sexuality, which I'm quite thankful for. Do you think, um, being kicked out of the house is something which is common for you? Yeah, definitely. Like almost all queer youth I [00:13:00] know have been kicked out of the house at least once over related issues, which is pretty horrible, to be honest and also like, it doesn't help the whole stigma or the fear that queer people face, like they tell you that coming out is simple and easy, or at least that's what straight people seem to say. But then you see all your friends getting kicked out over it, and it's like if it's really that simple, and if you know, queer marriage is everywhere [00:13:30] and everything is, you know we're getting rights, then people seem to think it's kind of over, like You know, no one's really homophobic anymore, but it's still there. What do you think? The next steps for queer rights beyond same sex marriage are, um, definitely looking into queer homelessness and actually educating the parents and having educations in schools like it would be nice to actually have queer friendly sex ed in schools [00:14:00] instead of just awkwardly talking about men and sis ladies. And that's it. Like, what was your sex ed experience like, um, in our school, we got told that, like to dream up qualities and our dream partner. But like if we were into girls and we just had to imagine that it was a boy for that experience and I don't really see why, like, why is thinking up qualities for your dream girl any different [00:14:30] from thinking up qualities for your dream guy? Or for someone who doesn't sell on the binary agenda? I. I don't see how that's different. And also did. We didn't get taught about, like, safe sex for, like, people with vaginas at all. It was just, you know, put a condom on a Penis, you know, take birth control. That's it. There was nothing about that. There wasn't anything about kind of like the spelling myths about virginity [00:15:00] and stuff like that. What do you mean by myths about virginity? Hm? Just like sometimes. Like people say that, you know, it's supposed to hurt. It's OK, like when you should really be just going slow and putting lots of lube. They never tell you about that kind of stuff. Specifically, they're just like, well, lots of times it will hurt unless your hymen is already broken, which is another false thing, because your Hyman doesn't really break. It's a muscle that stretches is many things just like that, and it's everywhere. And also the concept [00:15:30] of virginity is also kind of a really gross concept. Like for one. It doesn't always apply to all people, because sometimes there's not penises in the relation or vagina like sometimes you just have fingers or other holes, and it's and just going strictly as Penis and vagina just kind of really doesn't apply to those relationships. And also it's quite Shamy like people kind of [00:16:00] treat virginity as this really special thing and like, you know, if you if you lose it, you're losing the virginity like you're losing a part of yourself instead of, you know, gaining something new like a new sexual experience kind of thing. And that's kind of a gross way to teach people about sex. In an ideal world, how would people be taught about sex mostly to keep it safe with an extreme focus on consent and how to read it like an extreme [00:16:30] look at like positive, enthusiastic consent, telling people you know don't go and sleep with people when they're drunk, unless you've talked about beforehand, and even then if they show any signs of not being into it, ask them, and if they don't respond, then don't do it kind of thing. Like in our society, it's seen as acceptable to go and get someone drunk to sleep with them, and that's not OK. And also to decrease like the thing on like slut shaming and the like, [00:17:00] and also saying that like if people don't like sex and that's OK, because a lot of people have, like fears or hang ups about it, and they can be made quite uncomfortable sometimes. And I think it's also OK to say that like it's OK that you don't like sex or it's OK, if you've had a bad experience and this has made you, like, scared to continue kind of thing instead of kind of like doing like you either have sex or you don't have sex kind of thing. Like [00:17:30] what about, um, the coming out process? How would that be? In an ideal world, Yes. No pressure, really, like no pressure on people to come out until they're ready to come out. This is the process of trying to force people to come out of their closet because they're denying a part of themselves is kind of a really gross concept, like there could be heaps of reasons why that person doesn't want to come out or why they can't come out because their boss [00:18:00] might fire them or something like that. So people should try and make it as easy and reassuring as possible, and just kind of remain open to the idea that one of your friends or family could be queer and not just think that everyone's straight all the time.
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