This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content. You can search the text using Ctrl-F, and you can also play the audio by clicking on a desired timestamp.
OK, This panel was made for my brother Robin muy in the months leading after May 1991 and in the months leading up to October of 91 when the official unveiling was going to be and we've been asked to create a panel for him. Prior to that, though, I had asked him what he wanted on his panel, um, for the quilt. And he said he didn't know he would just leave it up to us. So, yeah, was that a hard conversation [00:00:30] to have? It was in some ways, um, except that he had actually been at the Australian unveiling. I think that was in about 87 or 88. If memory serves me correctly. So he really understood it and he wanted to be. He wanted to be there on opening night. That much I do know. But it was not particularly difficult. I was actually looking for some input. He always had quite a voice in his life, and I sort of figured he might want to have some input here. So, um but no, he left it up to us. And so we've made it very, very family orientated. [00:01:00] Can you describe what's on his panel. OK, well, firstly, I think, um, first and foremost, um, the the little map there, Uh, Waiheke Island, which is in the Gulf of New Zealand, Um, is where he was born on the second of May 1958. And we've put a rainbow across that going to Australia because that's where he spent a lot of his adult life the dolphin, Because I always figured that, um, you know, if there was such a thing as reincarnation, then that's what he'd want to be in [00:01:30] the ocean free. And, um and and wild, if you like the sun because he lived for summer, um, around that blue panel of the sea because he loved the sea and and point of fact was born on Waiheke Island and was literally on the sea on a ferry within two hours of him being born to come to the main land. Um, that surrounded him in tartan for his, um his his his Scottish heritage or what? Yeah, all our four mothers and four fathers came out here and [00:02:00] that, you know, my dad's just a first generation New Zealanders, so, um yeah, and then the Robin M. Um, it's not because we didn't want to put a surname on this particular panel. It's just that there wasn't any room to get everything on. So, um, that's that The buttons over in the other corner there, of course, are from his button collection. And, um, yeah, you know, he loved Mardi Grass. He loved, um, sle ball and, um, spent some time in San Francisco. So in the eighties, of [00:02:30] course, when you know all the the Harvey milk and gay rights issues were happening there. So he's been quite an activist in his time. Um, then down here, um, is the at the time, his nieces and nephews, uh, and the ages they were at the time of his death. So, um, they are quite predominant. And just coincidentally, under the second of May is, um, my daughter Megan's handprint because she was born on his 18th birthday. [00:03:00] And my son Bryce is under the 20th of May because he passed away on the 20th of May, which was Bryce's 17th birthday. So, um, yeah, very, very family orientated. And then I don't know why we chose the Irish farewell prayer because there is some Irish ancestry there. But, um, I'm not sure whether it was something mother wanted it that, you know, Mum wanted on there as her little, but just so that she felt someone, and we all did that someone was going to, you know, hold [00:03:30] them in the palm of the hand. And until we meet again. So, yeah, um, I think that's yeah. From looking here on and the roses just because he loved he loved roses. Yeah. Hm. Can you describe for me what it was like to actually create this into? I mean, obviously, all these things mean a great deal to Robin and the family. So what was it like, actually creating this and and and shaping it? Wow, it was. Where do you begin at first of all, when [00:04:00] you're faced with, well, not face. But, you know, the the the significance of the six by three panel, of course, was the fact that that is the size of a normal grave plot. And, um, globally. And, um, when you're faced with this piece of area and you think Oh, my goodness, what am I going to fill it up with? And then it actually became a case of Oh, well, well, where do we stop? Um, so, um, it was just a little bit of everything from his life, you know? And and most importantly, [00:04:30] we really wanted to acknowledge his the fact that he was a gay man because he was proud of that and had marched again and many human rights. So it was a case of, um, just lots of family effort and thought about what it was. And in fact, we before we actually stitched the all the pieces onto the panel, I remembered very distinctly having the panel on the floor with all the pieces on it. And I was standing on top of a couch, actually on the the back of the couch to see, [00:05:00] looking down on it, what it would look like. And coincidentally, Tina Turner's Simply the best song came on to the radio. And, um, at that time and I thought, Well, bingo, we we're there because that's the very song we we sent him out of chapel with at on the day of his funeral. So, as I said, you know, and and and don't think I mentioned the red and the black on the on the panel is, um, and name because he was a big North Sydney Sydney fan. I thought it was really for the males that were on the team, but anyway, um, [00:05:30] myself. But anyway, um, and and the silver, because that was his favourite jewellery. He liked silver jewellery as opposed to, um, gold jewellery. So yeah. So once we got going with it, it was honestly, about Well, where do we stop? Because his life encompassed so much. And, um, we But he was quite a simple person. He wasn't a really over the top person, so we tried to keep put as much in there without being too over the top and too busy. I suppose it was a bit busy when we look at it now, [00:06:00] isn't it? But family, simple life, pretty much it's his other side of his life is just But as a kid, I didn't see much of that because Yeah, he kind of had it from us, But no, it was awesome. He was cool. So, Megan, this is your handprint at At what age were you when you did this? I was 15. I was 15. He was? Yeah, said He was 33 and I was 15 when he died. So and that was 18 days [00:06:30] after our birthday. He actually he passed away. So was difficult. Very difficult as a teenager had you encountered, um, HIV aids before this through Uncle Rob. I mean, we didn't really know. Well, we knew he was sick. But I think until we until we got older and then when we came back to New Zealand in 91 then it was then it really hit me as to like that this was gonna kill him. And it's just but I. I mean, [00:07:00] a lot of my friends at school. Back then, they had no clue. It was just like because it wasn't It wasn't a well known disease way back then to say Lucky it is. Now, though it is now. In fact, Megan, do you recall the very first high school we ever took the quilt into was Carton Girls High School. And, um, that would perhaps have been about 92 because and one of the reasons we took it in there was because at high school [00:07:30] there was Megan, my daughter, and my two nieces, Amy and Kylie. They were attending Ks Girls High School. And we felt that it might be, um, a good way of, um, just opening up and making it a safe way for them to be able to share with their friends the experience and the grief they were going through because, um, often, I believe when there is a death in the family, you know, we forget that Children or or young people are going [00:08:00] through some kind of grief themselves, you know, because as adults we're quite consumed, you know? And it was very different for these young women at this girl's high school To be able to talk about safely without people being mean and nasty is, you know, the the gay, the gay disease. And so I mean, if you say you say to them, Well, my uncle died of AIDS instantly, it was like So he was gay. Then I'm like, Yeah, but it makes no difference. Anybody can get it. And I mean, that's I mean, through most of my speeches, I had [00:08:30] to do at high school that they were always about HIV a IS to educate them that it's it's not just a gay disease. I mean, yeah, anybody can get it, no matter how old. No matter how that was the time. I guess that was the time that it was perceived as being a gay disease. And it's just so that first quilt showing in the school did you You got up and spoke? No, no, I don't think I did. No, it was my mom. Mom, Mom spoke for us, [00:09:00] but, um, we didn't We didn't actually get them. And it was only there weren't that many girls in the school, and anybody that knew us would have known that it was my mom talking to a bit. But no, I guess again. And at that time, we took, uh, a woman living with with HIV along with us. She, you know, may I'd like to just remember her today, um, because she's no longer with us. But yes, again, it was just being able to put the woman's perspective on it because we were in this all girls high school. So and, [00:09:30] um, I believe that it was a really positive because I certainly know that Amy and Kylie, you know, were were were able to then feel more comfortable about being able to say, And then they felt quite proud that they were able to say, Oh, this is my handprint on this quilt. You know, this is my handprint on this quilt. And this person, um, is part of our family and always will be. Do you do you think actually making the panel was Was [00:10:00] it a cathartic experience or what kind of experience was it for you guys? Certainly was, I think, honestly, really Healing lots and lots of tears. Lots and lots of tears go into it because, of course we made this. I began making this about three weeks after he had passed away because wanted to make sure that it was ready. In fact, I believe we handed in just approximately six weeks after he had passed away to the the workshop. If you like getting ready for, um, opening night at the Auckland [00:10:30] Art Gallery on the fifth of October 1991 and, um so it was certainly it helped with the the the the raw grief. I guess that's a good way of saying it, you know, because you are raw grief for a good 12 months afterwards, Well, I know that I certainly was. And, um, yeah, so for me, it was healing. Um, guess so. But it was I mean, my my 16th birthday [00:11:00] was really hard because yeah, for the for the first for the couple of weeks leading up to it. I'm expecting something from Uncle Robert card or anything because he never, ever missed my birthday. And then I actually didn't get anything. I mean, yeah, my my 16th birthday was pretty miserable. I hated it, actually. I mean, for most girls, it's what they kind of turning point Happy sweet 16. And, you know, for me, all I wanted to do was hide in my bedroom and cry, but, um but no, I remember we had the we had the party. Anyway, [00:11:30] I did. It was still there, but it was extremely, extremely difficult. I mean, as the years have gone on, it's gotten easier, but especially on our birthday, I just It's still not nice. Not nice, because I've still got all the soft toys and anything he pretty much gave me. I've still got this. They sort of come out, but I mean, but, um so over the years, when when you've seen his panel. Do your feelings [00:12:00] change towards the panel? Or is it Does it take you right back? I'm proud. I mean, especially now. I want to see where it is now, but it always brings back whenever you even just seeing the photos of it online or whatever. I mean, it still just brings back. Brings back the memories of of who he was to me because I didn't see him a lot because he was in. We were in New Zealand and stuff, but no, he's Yeah, he'll always be there. He'll always be there. [00:12:30] And it was just It was It was I mean, I. I know it would have been my heart for my mom to look after him, and, um, I probably didn't go down and see him as much as I could, but I couldn't handle. I couldn't handle watching him die. So So this year he would have been held 4. 54 54 yesterday. Yes. Yes. So and I was just having a discussion with Megan last night. Um, about Well, I wonder what he would have been as a 54 [00:13:00] year old man. Um, and would he have been a nice 54 year old man would have been. Oh, you know, grumpy 54 year old man. Let me think about this. You know, true. Absolutely. And, um, ultimately. But, you know, time stopped for him at 33. And that's how we remember him at the age of 33. So, um and, you know, the the the the good years that he had and and the not so great years that he had, you know, But as a family, um, we loved [00:13:30] him unconditionally. And, um, yeah, every single day he walked with us. And this today, here at Papa. Um, yeah. Just as Megan said, I'm feeling very honoured and very privileged, and he would so so want to be here. He would really appreciate the history because the quilt history, the the the gay history, I think I said a little bit earlier the many, many layers of history that that lay [00:14:00] behind these panels, um, human rights, the whole lot. You know, politics just so much lays behind these quilts and to bring us here today is just awesome. Just fabulous for mom to say that he walks with us all the time literally, he does, because I actually had I've got a red ribbon tattooed on my leg and a memo to Uncle Rob So which I had done a done a couple of years ago. So, yeah, it was very it was strange because I'm 36 now. And when I turned 33 [00:14:30] it was just all day. All I could just wonder, was my Uncle Rob? Never, ever. Uncle Rob never ever got further than this. And it's just like it's really no life at all, really. I mean, back when I was 15, it was like, Oh, that's it's not much packed into those exactly where I always remember where it was awesome. One of the things that struck me in seeing a lot of these panels [00:15:00] is just the age, the very young age of people you know, A lot of people in their late twenties and their thirties. Yes, and unfortunately, that was the the average age. In fact, I think if my memory serves me correctly at the time from statistics, the average age was 31 years of age, I believe at at the time, through those you know, late eighties and nineties and, um, all I can say today, here in 2012 was, Thank God, goodness for medication. [00:15:30] Thank goodness for research that, you know, I have a friend who's now lived with this virus. Or actually two. I'm thinking of them now. Two friends who have lived with this virus since 1988 89 and, uh, are with us today and because for some reason, they're metabol metabolism. Click with the drugs as harsh as they were in the early days, um, and and are able to live well and happy and and carry on their careers today. So we've come a long way in 25 [00:16:00] years, as Michael was saying earlier, that no quilts have to be added to it. That's that's I mean, it's sad that they're coming here, but yeah, I mean, it's a good thing to show that people are staying alive from it. Now you can get it, and it's not just a terminal disease anymore. That's what's brilliant. That's what's brilliant. And there's there's no there's no need for these on such a huge scope anymore. Not not Not like 20 years ago, [00:16:30] Nikki, you were at the major unveiling in Auckland in 1991. And you were also at the handing over ceremony ceremony to te Papa last weekend in 2012. So you've spanned 21 years. Um, what has it been like having the quilt in your life for 21 years? Like I can merely say honestly again, it's always very humbling. And I guess humbling because [00:17:00] you get to share in all these awesome lives. You know, I just to to know. And I could stand here and walk around and still to this day almost tell you a story behind each and every one of these panels just laying in front of us, you know, because, you know, I got the privilege of being able to travel with them around the country and tell these stories and just be the verbal voice. I mean, everybody knows the court itself, once it's open, speaks for itself. But just that verbal voice at different times. And, um, it's [00:17:30] truly been an honour and privilege. In fact, a mom I met the other day, um, when we were at Saint Matthew's in the city, be jealous, and I met because of a working bee. Uh, for for the quilt, you know. And she handed her her son Michael's quilt. And at the time, and then I must have done robs. And then it was just everybody helping everybody to to get these quilts sewn together for opening night. And I think just right now is probably really appropriate to share. And I'd like to just mention Daniel Fielding because it's really appropriate, too, that these quilts in some [00:18:00] ways have come back to Wellington because Daniel Fielding had, you know, began sort of the quilt here. And I remember on opening night at the Art Gallery in Auckland, we were all waiting apprehensively for one panel to arrive from Wellington on the back of Daniel's motorbike, and it was raining and pouring and horrible and all this kind of thing. But I can just remember be and myself and a couple of others literally. Once Daniel got, they're shaking off, you know, the rain drops off his leathers of his motorbike and racing into the art gallery, and we [00:18:30] had that panel. We had to get on our hands and knees all this cot and thread in the art gallery and sew this panel into the final block. That particular block And that was all done about 20 minutes before Dane out and the and the the Dignitaries arrives. So yeah, just all those neat fun stories and the laughing that carried on. And that's what I'm going to say about this quilt, the laughter, the stories. It has just been an awesome, awesome journey, and and and And it will never end, you know, because you [00:19:00] know, there will always be new panels made, and it will be you know, added, I guess, one day to this. But in the interim, you know, it's been nothing but an honour and a privilege and, um, and a really fitting place as a national for for them to lay and be forever 11 thing that Michael said at the um ceremony this morning, Michael Bancroft was not only we bringing panels in, but they're actually [00:19:30] the people. And I just like that idea that actually it's binding people in the panels to the people carrying the panels and and the family members carrying the panels. I'm wondering, um, what are your thoughts on it being in Papa living here? It's awesome because at least they are gonna be treasured, they they'll be preserved forever. Whereas, yeah, I mean, Michael, can I do so much? Whereas [00:20:00] the museum's got they, they've got so much better technology than than pretty much a cupboard, but just the resources to be able to preserve them so that that they are around for all time. They are around for all time, which it's just It's unbelievable. It's primo. It's very good, Yes, I guess. And for me, just personally on on on two levels, I guess. Having been involved many years with as the convenor with the quilt, it's, um, it's a letting go in that sense, but [00:20:30] you know, they won't you know? Yes, they'll be accessible, but on a different level, you know, and, um, and for me personally, it's a little bit of a letting go. I've had a little bit of a good cry this morning because again it just evokes as Michael said, all these memories, all these memories and the love and the laughter And yes, the the the pain and the tears that that that, um, have have gone into making this quilt. But, you know, ultimately our our love and our losses are all the same. And, um, I guess again, [00:21:00] I'll use the word again. It's that common thread that brings us together. So, yeah, on that. I'm glad they're here. I'm glad they're all together. They've all travelled many, many physical miles together and kilometres together. And as families, we've all travelled many, many emotional miles together. So or kilometres, whichever whichever whichever side of the Pacific you want to be on. But yes, certainly. Um it's, uh, very proud and honouring moment [00:21:30] on A on a personal family level, but certainly on a national and even a global level. Because how many museums? Um, again, I think has been really forward thinking and and accepting these, um, wonderful, wonderful treasures today to to preserve all the history that's behind them. Uncle Robert love it. He'll always be on show Now. Do you think he was that flamy? No. No. [00:22:00] Surely he could be mother. Mother, Mother. He was gay. Come on. Yes, you're right. All right. Yeah. One of the things that struck me when Michael was speaking about the quilts coming into Ta Papa and them saying they won't be touched by human hands again. I actually made a point of touching them because I, I mean, personally, I felt that, um in some ways, [00:22:30] that's a real shame that actually they were made by human hands for human hands. But I can absolutely understand the preservation. You know, I absolutely understand that. And and, um, trust me, Gareth, I'll be taking one more sneak touch before I leave here today. Just because, you know, for that very reason, I the quilt has always been very tangible. You know, it's always been very touchable, and that's what makes it what it has been, you know? But again, I certainly certainly understand. Like, the reason we have so many historical books is because [00:23:00] they have been preserved and away from human hands, and no different for these. You know, I'm very impressed with the way these have all stood up to wear and tear, though, you know, all the folding and unfolding over 21 years, you know, and that people have really thought about that in their making. So, yeah, um, it's a big letting go, but just another journey for the quilt. I'm just wondering. Just wrapping up. Uh, do you have any kind of other final thoughts or final things that you would want to put on tape. [00:23:30] And I can't think of anything at this moment except to say, Love you, Robyn. Always well. And, um yes. Yeah. Just know that you'd be real proud to be here today Very much so. Love you, apes. [00:24:00] Mhm.
This page features computer generated text of the source audio. It may contain errors or omissions, so always listen back to the original media to confirm content.
Tags